Asked to keep toddler quiet

[Jellytots321]

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

The baby wouldn't understand what an indoor voice is though would he cause ehe is 1? zzzz you are determined to paint all parents who's children misbehave or make some form of noise as terrible parents when in reality they are probably just trying their best.
This wasnt a 4 year old screaming it was a 1 year old crying in pain. How was the OP meant to stop that? When your perfectly behaved children were 1 did they always stop crying or screaming when you wanted them too. They never had a tantrum in the middle of the shops? Never cried cause they were overtired or too hot or just plain grumpy?

A note on wake up times for people on holiday.
DH gets up at around 7am on holiday. If I am still in bed at 8.30, he will ask me if I am going to lounge about in bed all day.

It's horses for courses. And you can't make everyone comfortable in the way that they are most happy all of the time. I agree that consideration for others is important but a crying baby for half an hour at 7am isn't the end of the world in a family friendly holiday cottage. The baby is 1, so still a baby. You can't reason with a 1 year old.

Only children of permissive parents cut teeth, of course.

I can't believe some of the responses on here

I live next door to a baby. No way would I expect them to keep her quiet.

Why would anyone going away in school holidays to a supposedly family friendly resort expect quiet? Madness.

fully of course that's what is going wrong. If only I was a better parent my ds would have just quietly slept through the pain he was in last night. I will give him a talking too tonight and make sure he understands I won't stand for any of this teething nonsense

Well this tread is reminding me why I now avoid parents of small kids like the plague. Their attitude of helpleness face to their kids behaviour and defensiveness when challenged is very unpleasant.

There is a type of parent who is so besotted with their child(ren) that their every action and utterance is considered adorable and they take no steps to teach them consideration of others.

Thankfully, they're in a very small minority.

If its somewhere that you're going to be complained to about a baby crying from 7 to 7.30am, I'd find that useful information to read if I were looking to book a holiday to use it. Probably no bad thing for the owners to get that information out there either, in all honesty.

Of course they did. But i wouldn’t have simply accepted it and allowed it to impact on others. I don’t judge anyone who is trying to deal with it. I judge those who do nothing, or worse still laugh it off in an ‘isn’t my childl adorable’ way. No they are not. They are badly behaved and no one likes them but you.

And meadow I very clearly gave two alternatives across several posts, only one being that the op was a permissive parent. You are only reading the bits you want to.

I think it was just blown out of proportion on both sides!

She shouldn’t have said anything because it was only an hour. And it was a valid review if the owner prefers to keep the peace.

Lakie - crossed with you and entirely ageee.

The fact is that families who work hard to produce children who can use ‘indoor voices’

Next time my one year old cries from pain, I will be sure to make sure he uses his indoor voice. He might be a bit stupid though as a fear his cognitive functioning ability is a bit below what.

But permissive parenting in general is very much the modern norm.

Excellent, Ginny: more power to your elbow.

I will continue to insist my children suppress their feelings whenever we are not far, far away from any other people.

Plato. Crying in pain is one thing. Using indoor voices is entirely another.

pinkyredrose

How could they have helped you? If i was on holiday i wouldn't want a screaming kid next door, tooth or not.

That sounds really goady.

screaming kid next door

A baby is crying and in pain fgs. DMs in that situation are generally trying to help their babies, and so, yes, a sympathetic response would have been helpful.

I would hated to have been woken early on a holiday, but frankly if you hear a baby crying in pain how is anyones reaction one of anger

Those of you with this reaction dont go to child friendly and family places.

Fully human- the problem is that no one else wants to hear your kids ‘expressing themselves’.

Its difficult but whether on holiday or at home you do need to consider adjoined neighbours - babies and toddlers cry but they should not be left crying for 30 minutes even. I don't subscribe to the leave them to cry philosophy, you pick them up comfort them and find a way to soothe them. I've been in hotels where there's a child (not newborn baby) screaming and parents seem to just let them, you don't expect silence but nor do you expect to be woken before 8/9 am by screaming either. Not everyone would agree with the way I raised my kids (making a rod for my own back was my mother's favourite phrase) but they were never left to cry.

I doubt anyone is laughing at their adorable screaming teething baby. I'm glad your children responded to your attempts to calm them down. My ds at 1 has only just started sleeping though the night. For months he woke up crying and if he wasnt picked up straight away he went from slight crying to full on hysterics in about 30 secs. It then took about 20 mins at least to calm him down. Not all babies are easy to stop crying. Believe me I wish that was the case.

They aren't child friendly. ALL toddlers and babies cry sometimes and you can't always sooth them and it's not always predictable either. You were 100% right to make that review and warn others.

@LilyR2019 - what a silly thing to say! So should people with disabilities who make noises because of it (autism, tourettes etc) should also not ever go away in case others get disturbed by them? Of course they should go on holiday. People should be more understanding!

@MolyHolyGuacamole

Mine did, we did afternoon preschool too, we are not morning types. School was a nasty shock having to get up by 8 every day!

Not everyone has kids who get up at dawn.

I'm a bit bemused that a teething baby inside a cottage is deemed in anyway comparable with letting toddlers play loudly outside early. Two are totally different surely .

Completely different rookiemere. It's very odd.

Zzzzz12345
I know i’m making it sound like my kids are nightmarish: you have only my word that they are lovely. It is ok for other humans, regardless of age, to exist. Others’ existence, even when each is being considerate according to her own lights, can be irritating. Absence of irritation is not a human right.

What smug arseholes.

"Well you responded to our request as there was no more crying".

Like fuck we can control an upset child and that was done to them asking

I'd further respond. "Our toddler cried for 30 ministers in total. This was due to pain which we dealt with. The fact they didn't cry was not because you expect sheer silence from babies for the entire week but my the fact we managed his pain well."

They should have said no toddlers/babies if they didn't want any noise of crying! Good for you for leaving an honest review.

We holidayed in apartments and family friendly hotels when DD was a baby, she cried and had tantrums like any other baby. Sometimes we heard babies and kids next door crying too.

IME the UK is quite unfriendly to kids compared to other countries. As if kids should be seen and not heard!