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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Asked to keep toddler quiet

484 replies

Jellytots321 · 25/08/2019 09:04

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

OP posts:

Teateaandmoretea · 26/08/2019 21:19

Eurgh, no one else wants to listen to someone else's kid griping/grisling/crying.....

Well no, any more than I want to listen to you snoring, coughing and having a shit. But we have to share the world with other people and some of them are babies.

Yanbu at all OP.

manicmij · 26/08/2019 21:23

LilyR2019 Totally agree. There seem to be so many indulgent parents who cannot accept their little treasures are annoying and anyone uttering a word about them is vilified. Anyone with a 1 year old must surely know there is a high likelihood there will be crying but hey, they have to have a holiday no matter if they ruins others'.

spanglydangly · 26/08/2019 21:25

Well no, any more than I want to listen to you snoring, coughing and having a shit. But we have to share the world with other people and some of them are babies.

^^this!

Adults make noise to but that's fine?

spanglydangly · 26/08/2019 21:27

Half an hours crying from a teething baby ruins your holiday..... get a fucking grip and go holiday on the moon!

SmartPlay · 26/08/2019 21:27

@MissPepper8 Your situation was nothing like OP's. OP went on a family friendly holiday and her child was crying. You went to a fancy not-family restaurant with a screaming toddler. I would have understood if people had been unfriendly towards you!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 26/08/2019 21:31

pinkyredrose

How could they have helped you? If i was on holiday i wouldn't want a screaming kid next door, tooth or no tooth

Depends what kind of person you are - it was only 30 mins - in the morning
I wouldn’t hear a ‘screaming kid’ -I’d hear a baby in distress!!!
As for help - the op wasn’t asking for help, just saying it would be more constructive that a complaint over something that can’t be helped.
‘Help’ could just be a kind word - a bit of empathy or even something practical like offer of some calpol or just ‘Can I help at all?’
Actually a little boy on my last holiday had a rash on his inner thighs (from sand I think) - he was fussing so much it was s bit annoying but he was hurting so I offered some sudacrem (sp.) - it did the trick and the next day he was fine.

Some people are just nasty I guess.

YANBU and my negative review would have been a lot stronger.

Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 26/08/2019 21:32

@LilyR2019 if you’ve got a sensitivity to noise probably best to avoid going on holiday in the summer holidays, in none detached holiday cottages that say they’re family friendly isn’t it!! For Pete’s so should families not go on holiday now for the fear that someone in the next room has a disability that makes them intolerant to noise!!!

@MinisterforCheekyFuckery
You don’t know how teething works do you?!? Yesterday we were at a lovely birthday party having a jolly old time in the sun, last night my DC started to cut a tooth and all hell broke loose today - now if that was in the middle of a holiday what should we have done - got the next flight home - FFS!! Honestly if you don’t like kids/babies being noisy, you’ve got loads of options - don’t go away in school holidays, don’t book somewhere, family friendly, book somewhere adults only. Plenty of options.

Seb1969 · 26/08/2019 21:33

From the look of some of these replies it seems as if a lot of 'mums' on mumsnet either aren't mums, have forgot what it's like to have a child or just aren't very understanding people. My youngest is 11 but I can still remember what it's like to have a crying toddler and for people to let properties as child friendly but then complain when a toddler dares to make a sound is absurd and I'd of given them a bad review if I'd had that happen to me. Obviously they couldn't of helped but it would of been a nice gesture when the owner saw you to ask if your toddler is alright as other holidaymakers had commented on the crying instead of being such a blatantly rude person. And to those on here making nasty comments about taking her toddler away.... Get a life, everyone is just as entitled as you to have a family holiday with ALL of their children, they shouldn't be expected to leave 1 at home because they're a toddler and may at some point cry about something, especially to cry because they're in pain.!! I mean what sort of toddler cries when they're cutting a new tooth.?? Answer). Most of them do, including all of mine, aren't you all lucky nobody was nasty enough to complain when your kids cried.!! 🤔

Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 26/08/2019 21:34

She was being a dick OP. I’d copy the review onto their Facebook page for good measure with her smug response!

CorBlimeyGovenor · 26/08/2019 21:35

YANBU.
The owner was clearly very rude. What did they think you were doing? Prodding him with a stick to make him cry because you enjoyed the noise?? Some people are so intolerant.

Jamhandprints · 26/08/2019 21:42

@zzzzzzzz12345 as others have said, you are very lucky to have neurological children who were able "from birth" to look after themselves, and from age 5 to keep themselves safe for hours alone.
Not all children are like this even those with good, thoughtful parents and Gro Clocks. You probably don't believe me but be thankful you haven't had to find out the hard way.

Jamhandprints · 26/08/2019 21:42

*Obv mean neurotypical!

SummerBreezemakesmefeelfine · 26/08/2019 21:45

By leaving this review you are alerting other parents with babies and toddlers that they are probably not welcome.

Owners don't like bad reviews so they are miffed, but so long as you were telling the truth, they cannot do much about it. The review posted the following day was probably from a family member or friend, to try and mitigate.

Ours are adults now so we tend to go outside school holidays. That doesn't mean there will no couples with very young children, such is life.

LaMarschallin · 26/08/2019 21:49

Don't feel bad about leaving a bad review, she got off lightly

Well... apart from leaving bad review, what else could the OP have done?

I'm not sure how that means the owner was let off lightly.
She can hardly be logged with 101 or something.

Bondixx · 26/08/2019 22:05

My goodness - how is she supposed to guess when her child is going to cut a tooth?? Does she have a crystal ball??? Do they want her to gag the baby?? (You might need to carry duct tape next time on holiday) it sounds as if they thought you weren’t trying to ease —their—the child’s suffering. Babies cry, that’s how they communicate! They don’t know the time of day, they just know that their mouth hurts. It wasn’t all night, adults weren’t partying and it was only half an hour. It’s some adults that feel entitled. If the ‘adults’ next door wanted some definitive peace maybe they should have booked a detached property. You had every right to write that review .

celticprincess · 26/08/2019 22:13

How can anyone afford to cancel a holiday last minute because their toddler is teething. Babies and toddlers get their teeth at different points in time. Some can have a full set by 6 months but some don’t get any til they’re 1. Unless you go down the line of people with babies and toddlers should never go on holiday then how on earth can you plan for such a thing? And family friendly means a little bit of sympathy from fellow holiday makers. Yes, screaming babies can grind you down but it’s not like the parents have deliberately set it up that way.

LaMarschallin · 26/08/2019 22:17

How can anyone afford to cancel a holiday last minute because their toddler is teething.

Even if it was affordable, the OP didn't know her child was going to be teething. He started on the first morning they were there.

Yellowpolkadot · 26/08/2019 22:21

Since having DD (15months) we have only booked chain hotels as I wouldn’t want her crying to effect small business owners (we’ve stopped at some lovely b&bs over the years but i just feel like it’d be so much more noticeable if she was to have an off night, and wouldn’t want them getting a negative review because of us!)

Fortunately DD has always been well behaved when we have taken her away, we intend to start using small businesses again as soon as she has a better understanding.

Other options I guess are stand alone air bnbs.

I guess this is just personal preference though

KB197 · 26/08/2019 22:21

So rude! Maybe you should have asked the owner if they had children? Because any parent on this planet will you how hard teething can be. I’m shocked.. particularly because the accommodation was ‘child friendly’ and it’s the school holidays.

KB197 · 26/08/2019 22:24

If adults want a quiet holiday they should book adult only accommodation!

Shutupseaguls · 26/08/2019 22:28

I've just got back from holiday in an awful holiday camp what I wouldn't give for a baby crying. Try kids running around screaming all hours of the night them parents getting back drunk screaming and shouting.

TimeWastingButFun · 26/08/2019 22:49

Some people are very intolerant of babies, but thankfully most are sympathetic. Sorry that you ended up with some less than nice people next door. I would be inclined to knock on the door with a bottle of wine and a smile and just say shout if they need anything - we've all been there!

sounfairso · 26/08/2019 22:56

Not tounge in cheek. I ment teethings a minefield child is best in own environment. Being on holiday is unsettling at the best of times

@Jeeperscreepers69 so parents shouldn't book a holiday until their children have a full set of teeth, don't be so utterly ridiculous.

Thewarrenerswife · 26/08/2019 22:59

If people want peace and quiet they need to book detached private accommodation. I used to work for a big holiday cottage chain, and quite honestly if the owner made a guest feel so unwelcome for something such as a baby crying, the holiday company would likely give some sort of compensation. The owner had no right to make you feel bad, and I think your review was on the soft side. It’s not about parents expecting others to tolerate their children crying, it’s about being realistic when you book a property which is 1) child friendly 2) in a complex of other properties. Okay, so no, I don’t think other guests necessarily should have offered ‘help’, but to complain... about a baby crying.... people need to seriously get a grip!

Itssosunnyout · 26/08/2019 23:04

Anyone booking to stay at a place which is family friendly takes the risk that there may be a baby there. And the baby may cry.

Yanbu and the owner was rude.

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