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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to keep toddler quiet

484 replies

Jellytots321 · 25/08/2019 09:04

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

OP posts:
Thewarrenerswife · 26/08/2019 23:08

@Jeeperscreepers69

How is 7am an awful time to be woken up on holiday? What time do your kids wake up? And how would you ‘leave teething at home?’. Just not take that kid? Love it at home, lest you should disturb the neighbours on holiday?

You’re clearly either insane or don’t have kids... which is it?

Buddytheelf85 · 26/08/2019 23:09

So Saturday my MIL booked an expensive restaurant, not child friendly.. I was a bit frustrated, they had no menu for him and 2 highchairs. DS turned out when we left to be very unwell, but the whole time he screamed and shouted and tantrumed (not like him). I was so embarrassed people were looking but the staff were wonderful and tried to help us.

Not even remotely the same situation as the OP’s. I feel very sorry for the other diners in your scenario.

browzingss · 26/08/2019 23:09

It’s absolutely understandable that they were upset/in pain and inconsolable. However the noise at 7am would still annoy me, sorry. Just one of those things.

IsobelRae23 · 26/08/2019 23:27

I was on holiday once when a baby was crying for ‘only 20 minutes’, when in fact it had been 1 hour 40 minutes of middle of the night hell. I’ve done my baby days I don’t want my holiday disturbed by a baby, which is not even mine. Holiday was advertised as ‘adults only’, but they turned up with the baby, saying that their baby sitter let them down, and they were allowed to stay.

ReanimatedSGB · 26/08/2019 23:53

If you're so precious you can't bear the thought of anyone else making a noise near you when you're on holiday, you either pay for an expensive quiet resort (and if you then get put next to bellowing drunks or screaming babies, feel free to complain) or you stay at home.

yve62 · 26/08/2019 23:57

I find it quite hard to believe that this entire episode happened as described. I don't know anyone who would have made a complaint in circumstances like this and yet op is suggesting everyone did including the management? Also, management's response sounds like something else was going on.
People rarely state the facts accurately when looking for approval.

Nearly47 · 27/08/2019 00:13

YANBU, If they don't want to hear children crying don't say you are child friendly. Babies will cry and although it is irritating and I am long past this with my almost teens I understand and wouldn't complain about a baby crying. And I had a partcularly difficult night recently when slept at an university guest room the night before an exam. Was awful but I knew that the young parents next door were having a much harder time than I and were doing everything they could to sooth their baby. People can be very selfish.

Expectingkittens · 27/08/2019 00:29

Ffs if it was every morning for like 5 days straight, then I might see where the grumpy sod is coming from, but the very first morning. Wow. Miserable git. Good on you leaving a bad review. I'd have done the same. My boy went through hell teething...it was heartbreaking to see. You and your baby did absolutely nothing wrong. Yes, I get that if you go on holiday you want peace...if that desire is so strong don't go where babies will be.Sad

jackie2669 · 27/08/2019 01:56

It was a children welcome anyone who doesn't want to be around children who are doing the exact same things you did as a child should do a adults only holiday .

BunsyGirl · 27/08/2019 02:17

So, according to some people on here, you shouldn’t take your children on holiday in case they make a noise. That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. The only people that have caused me problems on holidays are adults. A small child crying will not do me any harm whatsoever...a drunken adult on a place....well that’s a completely different story...this is a British problem and precisely why we always holiday abroad in countries that are more tolerant of children.

BunsyGirl · 27/08/2019 02:17

*plane not place

MrsBadcrumble123 · 27/08/2019 04:06

I think you are being overly sensitive and I think you should delete your review

checkeredredshorts · 27/08/2019 04:23

What a bunch of bonkers people in these replies!

Yanbu op.

The owner was a twat.

CatteStreet · 27/08/2019 06:06

You can usually tell (I find) from the tone of reviews/replies which of the parties is the reasonable one. If I read your review, OP, I wouldn't be booking with my children, even if I loved the rest of it, and would probably contact the owner to say why.

My goodness, there are a lot of miserable, aggressive people on here. Eye-opener, this thread. It's about dumping general frustration on an easy target, I expect.

Nyata · 27/08/2019 06:15

You would go for a walk in the middle of the night with a crying baby?Hmm Get real!

swingofthings · 27/08/2019 06:28

I find it quite hard to believe that this entire episode happened as described. I don't know anyone who would have made a complaint in circumstances like this and yet op is suggesting everyone did including the management? Also, management's response sounds like something else was going on
I think that sums it up perfectly. I too don't believe that it was a one off with OP trying to keep her baby to stop crying. People don't complain for a one off cry at 7am, certainly not evrryoke who would also have had babies crying at some point during the stay.

In the end, you have two sort of parents all with bsbies/toddlers who cry. Some will consider the impa t on others and will do something to try to minimise the cry, those who won't care a bit.

It makes me laugh those who say that it is a children friendly place so it's OK. I can imagine if all the babies were left to cry for hours, children left to run around, scream, bounce into people, older children left to scream and shout at 10pm, that is every child being a normal child and totally disrupting the other ones, I doubt these children friendly places would do well attracting families!

HappyParent2000 · 27/08/2019 06:42

You cant argue with someone in a review section. Most people take it to twitter.

When writing reviews I would be more generic, it’s harder for them to nit pic in a response.

Marchitectmummy · 27/08/2019 07:00

If a toddler is crying at 7am why wasn't the child taken somewhere as a distraction, given teething gel or pacified somehow rather than left to cry for half an hour while others got ready. Poor child being left to just cry without any help. We have all experienced pain and benefited from our minds being taken off of it by filling out minds with other stuff it's tg same for children.

spanglydangly · 27/08/2019 07:15

@Marchitectmummy did you read the Op?

He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am.

The baby cried on and off? Presumably whilst the OP and partner were getting ready and taking it in turns to pacify the cold, then they took the baby out?

Hardly left to cry for half an hour solidly.

Spikeyball · 27/08/2019 07:16

You do realise that sometimes children cry no matter what you do? They don't come with off switches.
When teenaged ds with sn is distressed he will cry or scream for a while whatever we are doing about it.

spanglydangly · 27/08/2019 07:18

@Spikeyball but surely you could just transfer n him to lie on........you know like robot baby? Hmm

Some of the responses on here are totally batshit!

spanglydangly · 27/08/2019 07:19

*train not transfer

cushioncovers · 27/08/2019 07:41

Yanbu op. Unless it was the owners property that was attached to your cottage then I'm guessing it was other guests that complained which is ridiculous if it only lasted 30 mins.

Mrsgogginsthe3rd · 27/08/2019 07:59

@swingofthings who goes on. Holiday and leaves there baby to cry - that’s bollocks and you know it. Some are easy to soothe than others put parents just don’t leave them crying for hours!

mariew4455 · 27/08/2019 08:16

I think it was absolutely fair to leave that review. IT'S A BABY! a teething baby! and school holidays AND child friendly. Where's your compasion guy WOW! who does that! knocking to tell you to keep your baby quiet! If you dont like kids and their nose YOU GO SOMEWHERE that is not with kids! PERIOD. I'm amazed by some of these comments I really am! WOW!