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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to keep toddler quiet

484 replies

Jellytots321 · 25/08/2019 09:04

So I recently stayed in a holiday cottage attached to some other holiday cottages.

Unfortunaly the first morning we were there my toddler started to cut a tooth. He was crying on and off for about 30 minutes from about 7. We then left to go out for the day at 8am. Whilst on the way to our car I was approached by the owner and asked to keep the noise down. I explained the situation and she replied that I shouldn't have booked it I knew he would make noise (he was included on the booking and the site says children welcome). I left a bad review saying not to book if you have babies or toddlers as they will be expected not to cry. They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!). I apologised in my review for disturbance to other guests and suggested that instead of telling us to keep him quiet they could have asked if we needed any help. Someone else reviewed the day after saying that children are welcome you just need to be respectful of other guests. I was being respectful hence leaving at 8am and not 11am like planned. Aibu for leaving that review or feeling like I should be expected to magically stop a 1 year old from crying? I would understand if it was adults making noise but I was doing everything I could to comfort him!

OP posts:
Bugbabe1970 · 26/08/2019 19:36

Dicks
If that’s the way they feel they shouldn’t allow children at the accommodation
You were right to leave the review

Aridane · 26/08/2019 19:40

At least no one said 'ssshhh' direct to your child!!

Jarw · 26/08/2019 19:41

Its a family friendly place. If people don't want to hear kids crying and making noise at different hours of the day book an adult only accommodation. Babies are unpredictable! I wouldn't book benidorm and expect the location to be exotic. If it were older kids and the parents were doing nothing to stop their antics then fair enough, the staff would have every right to ask them to keep noise down, but when it's a baby crying and you were aware that the parents tried to comfort the baby, use common sense! I was a regional manager for a hotel chain and regardless of how much a guest annoyed staff I would never have allowed them to leave such a sarky response, that's just unprofessional of the establishment. Some bookings are made up to a year in advance and are non-refundable, it's just unfortunate timing that the baby was teething while they were away. If the owner had an ounce of common sense she/he would have pre-planned and allocated the guest accommodation in advance to minimise disruption for all staying guests.

happycamper11 · 26/08/2019 19:45

Gosh we have the bin lorry turn up at 6.30am every single Wednesday accompanied by loud chatting, banging and beeping of truck, and at 7 on a Sunday. Give me a baby crying on and off any day 😆. Cannot believe there are people that believe babies and young children shouldn't be taken on holiday AT ALL! Mumsnet is an odd place. OP the asking for help but was a bit U and apart from that ywnu

Jarw · 26/08/2019 19:46

And as a guest you have every right to leave a review regardless of whether it's good or bad.

purplebunny2012 · 26/08/2019 19:49

YWNBU to leave the review. I think other parents need to be warned over the behaviour of the owner

lisbabe · 26/08/2019 19:50

Poor you! People forget what it’s like to have a toddler ( I think situations like this are the reason). The Lioness in you wrote the review and in this situation I would have done the same. I’m a Mum of six and Nana of one. Do not let this stop you staying in different places- my children still talk about their holidays as a child. You sound like a fabulous mum btw.Smile

StarB3 · 26/08/2019 20:05

I don't understand some of these comments? It was a baby crying for half an hour due to teething. It's obviously not a child friendly place to stay, like the place said. Yes I get that others were on holiday too but it was just half an hour, one time. You left early to avoid more disturbance. You were right to leave the review. Although no one could have helped, they could have been more considerate to you also. Do we still live in a 'children should be seen and not heard' generation? You would think so by some of the comments on here and the way the holiday owners dealt with it.

ahmadsmom2015 · 26/08/2019 20:06

Don’t explain yourself. Anyone who reads their reply to your review will know you are in the right. Don’t worry and don’t book them again.

jaimeellyyuriko · 26/08/2019 20:08

The way I see it, kids make noise, sometimes you can’t get them to stop. I didn’t have children until my mid-to-late thirties and therefore had plenty of single fun time where kids weren’t a consideration to me. I also went to plenty of these holiday cottage type places where I knew full well that there would be kids, sometimes screaming children. Children who might be cutting a tooth, or fall ill, or just be pissy for no particular reason. I would make a point of making eye contact with the parents when I could and smiling or even striking up a conversation.
It’s not anybody’s fault if a child is crying, unless a child is being actively neglected.
I honestly cannot believe how some people can be so thoughtless and rude, in some cases, horrid, when it comes to kids.
I’ve only experienced this whilst I’ve had my own two and I have to say a lot of people are just not very nice I’m afraid. Yes, noise at 7am isn’t ideal, but those parents aren’t exactly rejoicing in their child’s screaming fit and are properly far more stressed and upset by the noise than anybody else, trust me. Other people’s kids noise don’t bother me, but my own is another kettle of fish, it’s horrible and stressful and all these poor people want to do is have a holiday like anyone else. They are not deliberately trying to spoil other people’s holidays, but they are probably in dire need of a break as well so a little kind ness goes a long way. To the OP, I’m glad you left that review, if they said kids welcome then I’m sorry but they need to honour that and so do the other people holidaying there. There are holiday locations which people with children are deliberately excluded from which is absolutely fine so maybe book with a place that offers this particular environment.
I just think there’s no need to be unpleasant or mean, life is short people, so get on with it and stop making people feel like crap, whether they have kids or not.

jaimeellyyuriko · 26/08/2019 20:12

Totally agree with you!!! I can’t believe how many ‘children should be seen and not heard’ fanatics seem to be on a parenting forum? Hilarious.
Don’t get me wrong, my children drive me crazy and sometimes all I want them to do is be quiet but I deal with that 24/7. Half an hour????!!!!
Seriously??? Some people 🙄

Genderfree · 26/08/2019 20:16

Uk isn’t very child friendly is it

ReanimatedSGB · 26/08/2019 20:19

Oh FFS if you stay in holiday accomodation that is near other people, you are likely to (oh NOOOOOO!) hear babies crying/people snoring/loos flushing/conversation late at night. Suck it the fuck up. You don't own the world.

Unless you have specifically booked - and paid extra for -accommodation somewhere that caters for attention-seeker syndrome people who need unusually quiet environments, tough shit.

angell84 · 26/08/2019 20:20

I actually agree that the owner was out of order. My opinion on this matter is just slightly frazzled because I took a 3 hour flight two days ago, and a baby in the row behind me screamed the whole way. I had earphones on. I could still hear the sonic level screaming.
While I have sympthy for the mother, does she see it from our side, that it makes it an incredibly awful experience for everyone around her?

Planes need to start doing child free flights

BeyondMyWits · 26/08/2019 20:21

UK is child friendly enough. Some parents are too sensitive. Asked to keep noise down once... most people would apologise and move on. No drama required.

SmartPlay · 26/08/2019 20:23

@angell84 WAs the 3 hour flight with the baby screaming the whole way the same as your 4 hour flight with the baby screaming for 2 hours? :)

And no, you don't have any sympathy for the mother, which is obvious from the many posts you have written about this.

LaMarschallin · 26/08/2019 20:27

They replied with a smug reply saying thank you for responding to our request as there was no more disturbance for the rest of the trip (yeah his tooth came through so he stopped crying!).

Perhaps they didn't mean to be smug. It's sometimes difficult to tell the tone of a statement if its written not spoken.
I know that's why I sprinkle smiley faces around on occasion.

The good news is that the tooth came through after just 30 mins of crying.

Livelovebehappy · 26/08/2019 20:40

This is why I wouldn’t rent an adjoining property for a holiday. A lodge in the middle of nowhere or detáched property every time. I think people have a personality change when on holiday - its like people think because they’ve saved up and waited for this holiday for a year that considerate behaviour goes out the window and they will ensure their family basically does what they want regardless of anyone else around them. Having said that, it can’t be helped if a baby is crying due to teething.

Jeeperscreepers69 · 26/08/2019 20:41

Not tounge in cheek. I ment teethings a minefield child is best in own environment. Being on holiday is unsettling at the best of times

Lulu49 · 26/08/2019 20:42

How could teething be accurately predicted to match up with a holiday booking often made months in advance?

yve62 · 26/08/2019 20:46

Very well articulated.

Beaverdam · 26/08/2019 20:47

Ignore commemts saying you are unreasonable. You were very right to leave that review. They should advertise that they do not want young children of they are that precious about a nany crying.

Beaverdam · 26/08/2019 20:48

*baby

Mrssampras · 26/08/2019 20:56

I love the suggestions that people can avoid booking a holiday cottage when their babies/toddlers are teething 😂😂 (Obviously have more intuition than me)

MissPepper8 · 26/08/2019 21:16

She's a dickhead, you shouldn't of apologised. I absolutely hate this, if someone ever crosses me one day and tells me to quiet my 2 year old they'll seriously regret it.

Since having DS I have alot more sympathy for people with grissley babies and toddlers. We haven't had it happen yet, but I would consider it seriously unhelpful and question whether the person had children if they asked us to do that.

So Saturday my MIL booked an expensive restaurant, not child friendly.. I was a bit frustrated, they had no menu for him and 2 highchairs. DS turned out when we left to be very unwell, but the whole time he screamed and shouted and tantrumed (not like him). I was so embarrassed people were looking but the staff were wonderful and tried to help us.

You shouldn't ever be made to feel like you shouldn't be there, you paid and children were welcome. Don't feel bad about leaving a bad review, she got off lightly x