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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be outraged and despairing at the emboldened racist idiocy around us these days?

173 replies

daffalicious · 24/08/2019 15:02

Today I ran to catch my bus which pulled off as I reached the stop.
Annoying but I was then first alone at the stop waiting for the next. By the time the bus arrived there were other people waiting too but I hadn't paid much attention to anyone as I was first in line near the bus stop post (no shelter).
As I stepped onto the bus a white woman grabbed the hood of my raincoat and yanked me backwards saying loudly 'we queue in this country you know'. I turned completely bewildered and did not see any look of sympathy in the faces of few people gathered.
I was so shocked and said 'what are you talking about I was here first. I missed the last bus' I clearly have an English accent. But all faces remained passive and everyone got on the bus. A young black kid at the back gestured for me to get on before him.
And so then I sat on the bus burning with hot tears and lump in my throat. Wondering what on earth has gone wrong with people in this country. Trying to make sense of it and feeling humiliated and disgusted.
The driver had seen but made no comment or gesture of sympathy.
I am a white English woman in 40s. With dark brown hair no tan at all but have absolutely no idea what nationality the woman assumed I was. I'm horrified at seeing first hand what happens in these situations. Once the woman had spoken to me like that it appeared the other people assumed there was just cause. I was being reprimanded for being a rude foreigner and no one had a problem with it.

I am really upset freaked out and disgusted. I keep thinking imagine if my kids had been with me. It was so humiliating. My heart is racing and I feel nauseous just writing all this.
I feel sick for everyone considered a foreigner. I'm angry that some people seem to have returned to attitudes of the 1970s.
I don't know what to do with all this.
What do mumsnet make of it?

OP posts:
EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 25/08/2019 10:52

You base awareness on one incident that I disagree with the op

Or you followed my other posts I’m not sure

EEmother · 25/08/2019 12:31

You probably were mistaken for an Eastern European. Sorry this happened to you, it does indeed feel like there has been an increase in xenophonic micro-aggression since the referendum. On the whole, however, the UK is still remarkably open and tolerant compared to many countries in the world.
I, for one, stopped speaking in my native language to the children in public. Majority of people are clearly ok with it, but there always will be that one person on the bus who will tell me "We speak English in this country, you know".

Jade218 · 25/08/2019 13:36

Some of the responses to this thread is exactly what annoys me about racism.

None of us conclusively know what the woman's intentions on the bus were - she may or may not have been making a racist remark. But why on earth are people automatically assuming she didn't? As though racism doesn't exist or as though the OP is crazy for assuming the comment could have had racist intent?

Those of you that automatically discarded that it could even potentially be a racist comment, are part of a problem that means as society we can never truly tackle racism.

JacquesHammer · 25/08/2019 13:54

Has Mumsnet become a bullshit racist aligned site?

Looks that way. Didn’t you catch the way they handled the Serena Williams thread yesterday?

Idontwanttotalk · 25/08/2019 14:08

I would definitely take the phrase "we queue in this country you know" to be racist and I'm not one who jumps on the PC wagon unnecessarily.

I presumed that, as she grabbed you by your hood, she couldn't see your face and assumed you were foreign as she, for some obscure reason, equated hoodies with being foreign.

I hate that so many people don't stand up for others when they could easily have done so. Obviously the other passengers were stood behind you so must have known you were there first. They should have said something.

What a horrible incident to have happened.

Btw, I've never seen a foreigner treated like that either, thank goodness.

Kplpandd · 25/08/2019 14:12

So sorry this happened to you, when I was 17 I witnessed a lady having things thrown at her and being racially abused so I brought her into the shop. She was so shaken and just wanted her husband, I often think of her ...

user1471590586 · 25/08/2019 14:21

Definitely sounds like a racist comment. Sounds like they assumed you were from an eastern European country. You could report the person and try to get footage from the bus company.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 25/08/2019 14:30

I haven’t read the whole thread yet though i will do

But i just wanted to say daffa how dreadfully sorry i am that this happened to you

There is no excuse whatsoever for racism

The young lad was obviously empathetic goodness knows what he’s seen in his young life

Butchyrestingface · 25/08/2019 14:46

I'm not claiming to have been racially abused.
But the woman said what she said and yanked me backwards off the bus because she thought I was a foreigner. That is fact

I thought she yanked you because she thought you were a queue jumper? Confused

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 25/08/2019 14:52

Should say there is no excuse for racism or xenophobia or plain aggression and rudeness!

AmateurSwami · 25/08/2019 15:25

I thought she yanked you because she thought you were a queue jumper?

Don’t be obtuse Hmm

easyandy101 · 25/08/2019 15:29

Someone pulled me about but my hood id take their face off

Everyone assumes I'm a homeless Latvian trawlerman btw

Butchyrestingface · 25/08/2019 15:30

Don’t be obtuse hmm

I’m genuinely not so Hmm back at you.

Drabarni · 25/08/2019 15:34

It's awful OP, I'm Romany you should see the stick I get when out in my van.
It's a pity they are allowed to get away with it.

thisenglishlife · 25/08/2019 15:39

She most likely yanked her because she thought she was a foreign queue jumper - Eastern European, romany, traveller, Mediterranean, light Asian/Arab, whatever.

Drabarni · 25/08/2019 15:41

which means if she was as listed above, still has as much right to be here as the racist woman.

Ghanagirl · 25/08/2019 16:40

@Butchyrestingface
Sarcasm to someone whose been assaulted, Lovely

thisenglishlife · 25/08/2019 16:43

@Drabarni I was just replying to the person who said: I thought she yanked you because she thought you were a queue jumper?

Butchyrestingface · 25/08/2019 18:06

*@Butchyrestingface
Sarcasm to someone whose been assaulted, Lovely

I wasn’t being sarcastic.

happinessischocolate · 26/08/2019 08:05

This thread is like an Ali G sketch "is it cos I is black"

No, it's because she thought you jumped the queue.

Drabarni · 26/08/2019 09:50

thisEnglish

I know you were Thanks I didn't think you meant that.
I do think the woman was racist otherwise why say "in this country" rather than "you jumped the queue" or even tell her to not push in etc if she thought she had.

SaskiaRembrandt · 26/08/2019 10:17

Maybe the 'in this country' phrase isn't racist, but I've only ever heard racists use it.

NoTheresa · 26/08/2019 10:20

Of course the expression “in this country” may have been used because Brits have queuing down to a fine art - rivalled only by the Swedes, in my experience.

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