To be outraged and despairing at the emboldened racist idiocy around us these days?

[daffalicious]

Today I ran to catch my bus which pulled off as I reached the stop.
Annoying but I was then first alone at the stop waiting for the next. By the time the bus arrived there were other people waiting too but I hadn't paid much attention to anyone as I was first in line near the bus stop post (no shelter).
As I stepped onto the bus a white woman grabbed the hood of my raincoat and yanked me backwards saying loudly 'we queue in this country you know'. I turned completely bewildered and did not see any look of sympathy in the faces of few people gathered.
I was so shocked and said 'what are you talking about I was here first. I missed the last bus' I clearly have an English accent. But all faces remained passive and everyone got on the bus. A young black kid at the back gestured for me to get on before him.
And so then I sat on the bus burning with hot tears and lump in my throat. Wondering what on earth has gone wrong with people in this country. Trying to make sense of it and feeling humiliated and disgusted.
The driver had seen but made no comment or gesture of sympathy.
I am a white English woman in 40s. With dark brown hair no tan at all but have absolutely no idea what nationality the woman assumed I was. I'm horrified at seeing first hand what happens in these situations. Once the woman had spoken to me like that it appeared the other people assumed there was just cause. I was being reprimanded for being a rude foreigner and no one had a problem with it.

I am really upset freaked out and disgusted. I keep thinking imagine if my kids had been with me. It was so humiliating. My heart is racing and I feel nauseous just writing all this.
I feel sick for everyone considered a foreigner. I'm angry that some people seem to have returned to attitudes of the 1970s.
I don't know what to do with all this.
What do mumsnet make of it?

Very sad reading the efforts people will contort themselves into to defend a woman you don't even know! Because it's beyond belief that petty racist micro agressions aren't experienced by people every day around the country.

This was not a mad old misunderstood lady. I'm English I know the difference of sarcasm or regular rudeness. The meaning of what she said was clear to us both.

She yanked me backwards as I was stepping onto a bus. Taking me completely by surprise. She felt justified to do this as for whatever reason she had decided I was a rude queue jumping foreigner and she felt entitled to do that and speak that way to me. A neatly dressed complete stranger in my 40s.
The people with her or next to her stared and did not show any sympathy with me.
Nor did the bus driver.

Once I was on the bus I focused hard on staying calm and not crying because I'm a grown woman and would have looked mad crying and trying to argue with her on the bus. I am not aggressive anyway but I was so shocked confused and humiliated. This isn't lack of assertiveness. Its probably a typical reaction.

Marriedwithchildren5

Muslims don't wear a kippah. That would be Jewish men. And if you grab someone aggressively by their hood and make a comment about how you do things in your country, then that is xenophobia whether it is acknowledged here or not.

This is the attitude of old school racism and homophobia in the deep south of America:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh6JOVSU6OI

"Shave that dang on mustache off so you don't look so conspicuous... The ones who do the kissin' over here are the ones who float around like that..."

You could try to explain it away and say they're all just phrases. People shouldn't be offended. But it's bullshit, every person who is educated knows it's bullshit and only people who would agree with the sentiment would try to minimise it. You can't hide behind "It's just a phrase".

I am often mistaken for being 'foreign' and I have literally no idea why. I've been asked so many times "where are you really from?" And the answer "Newcastle" isn't good enough for many people.
When I was worked in the service industry, a lady turned to her husband and said "I have no idea what she is saying. Why don't they hire English people" and I had to point out that I am English and no need to be so rude.
OP, I'm sorry for how she acted. I understand that sometimes you do freeze in these situations, because you don't expect to be attacked for getting on a bus. No matter where you're from or who you are, you don't deserve that. She's a cunt.

Just because I don’t agree it was necessarily racist (though her aggression was very unpleasant) doesn’t mean I am not fully aware of racism or how it can play out

I am also aware of people wanting acknowledgment for suffering too or wanting some sort of gold medal for calling out their perceived racism at every opportunity and informing everyone they can that they did so

I sent too soon. There's a huge amount of humiliation and something like shame to be spoken to like that and yanked off a bus in front of people who show no sympathy or outrage.

Thank you biancadelrioisback exactly this. Great name too

enthusiasmetc take it as you will.
I was just so pissed off wanted to share

Very sad reading the efforts people will contort themselves into to defend a woman you don't even know! Because it's beyond belief that petty racist micro agressions aren't experienced by people every day around the country.

This.

She assaulted you and said “we queue in this country”. She was xenophobic.

The more I read on mn the clearer it is why there are children in cages as we speak. People can explain away and downplay any injustice as long as they’re ok.

using an old fashioned turn of phrase

Yes, that classic olde phrase “we queue in this country” accompanied by a drag backwards by the hood.

That's not racism it's more "where you born, in a fucking barn?" aggression. How can one white British person be racist to another? I'm white British and I've only ever had a tiny bit of funny teasing about race - ie you don't have any rhythm.

The woman was an aggressive arsehole and it's really hurtful that no one stuck up for you.

Yes the term faux naivete very correctly applied here.

I am also aware of people wanting acknowledgment for suffering too or wanting some sort of gold medal for calling out their perceived racism at every opportunity and informing everyone they can that they did so

You know what I'm aware of? That in this day and age, you have white fathers who don't acknowledge their mixed race children. Families still upset that their children have decided to have an interracial relationship and taking that out on their own grandchildren by going no contact. That is real racism. And it is facilitated because people from an older generation are shamed by their peers who still hold racist thoughts but are wise enough to not speak out about it publicly in 2019. These same people are the ones who feel emboldened enough now to grab a foreigner aggressively. To insult immigrants. To treat people who actually contribute for their benefit (doctors and engineers) like scum.

I'm aware of the struggles that foreigners face in England. I was shocked by how Polish people were treated. People in other parts of the world don't even know the extent and depth that people take their xenophobia here. But the message is slowly spreading across social media, "look at how the Eastern European people are being treated in the UK after the referendum..." And shock. Everyone has this stereotype in their heads that the British are intellectuals for the most part but that image has deteriorated when news of xenophobic attacks spreads. Why are you guys defending it? Don't you see it damages you?

@1Morewineplease

I’ve endured this type of racism myself ( am white British ... just happen to have a ‘foreign’ surname and my parents are Polish, but my ancestry isn’t evident.)

Same here. It was amazing to see the difference in how people treated me when I got married and my Polish surname changed to a posh sounding English one. It's like I got suddenly sprinkled with fairy dust.

Oh thanks for that lesson Purple

Wow I never knew just how racism can play out please tell me more shall inform my family as they are probably totally unaware too

Are you white Purple ?

I don’t necessarily think it was racist I think it was aggressive and that in itself is horrible

Are you white Purple ?

No. I guess that matters to you, since you asked.

I’d call it xenophobia not racism.

No it doesn’t

I just found your post incredibly patronizing

The type I have often experienced form white people telling myself and my family what racism is

No it doesn’t

Then why ask?

I just found your post incredibly patronizing

Maybe such deep levels of ignorance need a patronising response.

The type I have often experienced form white people telling myself and my family what racism is

Good.

Don't you see it damages you?

This country is addicted to self harm right now. It's like a drug. Fuck knows why.

Good

Oh the white person telling the brown people what racism is as if the brown people can’t work it out themselves

Or they are not aware and need informing of prejudice within their own culture or that of other cultures that is not directed at brown people

Right I see

And guess what they also might have the intelligence to be able to spot those who want to claim they know what it’s like too like when they are called a white bitch/cunt/bastard by a black or brown person

Seriously you think i am not aware of all that you lectured me on

Unfortunately this is the story of my life. And so so many people don't even realise. Makes me so angry too, I'm sorry you had to experience this xx

I don't understand how one white British woman can racially harass another white British woman. It makes a mockery of racism to say that. Why didn't you say you were attacked? For which you have my sympathies. I think you should report it to the bus company as she will have used her card or oyster - but not as a racist incident.

@PurpleHedges you know you mentioned Hijab aswell. The rest of the point didn't actually need explaining.

I don't understand how one white British woman can racially harass another white British woman. It makes a mockery of racism to say that

I agree. It’s xenophobia not racism.

Sorry to hear this. Sadly there’s a lot of angry aggressive people in this world that take pleasure in being rude to people. Or maybe she was just having an awful day. No excuse for that rudeness though.