Sister-in-Law’s locked room

[TerracottaDream]

A couple of years ago brother was let down by a babysitter so I volunteered. Niece and nephew went to bed I made a cup of tea and went to go in the front room but the room was locked. I realised that I had never been in that room and that evening was the first time I had been upstairs. No issues but when they came back sister-in-law hoped I had been comfortable. I mentioned the front room and she said visitors were not allowed in there. I imagined it was because it was messy. I made a little joke and forgot about it.
Been a few times since then. We always sit in the kitchen. Went over for lunch over Christmas holidays sat in kitchen (a very nice one with sofas) had a lovely meal and brother suggests we move into other room again SiL says guests aren’t allowed, again I make a little joke about being used to mess.
Today I texted to say I would drop off niece’s birthday present and leave it in porch but when I got there brother was in well we went in front room- it’s like something out of the bloody Ideal Home Show!!! She clearly didn’t want me and DH in there (even when our kids aren’t with us) !
I am really pissed off( yes I know it’s her fucking house!!!) my friend and I just met accidentally in Starbucks and she is pissing herself laughing at me. AIBU?

I honestly don’t understand why it’s “rude” to do what you want with your own house. MN totally fucking baffles me sometimes.

Surely it’s your brothers house too so anyone saying her house- her rules is wrong. Her brother wanted her to go in the nice living room but SIL rudely in front of her said no guests. Yes I’d be annoyed too and would consider any more favours for her.

Maybe they make 'home movies' in there??

Maybe she found your ‘little jokes’ unnecessary and rude, so thought ‘Right - sod you’. Why did you mention about the front room being locked? It was weird to assume you were owed an explanation.

I’m also perplexed at the number of posters who think babysitting once TWO YEARS AGO is tantamount to co-raising their children and that the very least you deserve is the run of the house.

I grew up with that, though the best room was for visitors and not the other way around. All my relations of that generation had that sort of set-up. Actually, quite a few of my relatives of my generation do too

Our sitting room is generally off limits for the simple reason that it's so bloody messy and I'm embarrassed. We have always sat in the kitchen though, even when the sitting room was tidy and nice!

Sorry but I disagree with the posters saying 'it's her house" so she can do what she likes. The ops brother also owns the house. Would it be OK if the husband said guests can't use the room!

It would be better if it was a mutual arrangement.

OP, be honest. Did you spill a bucket sized glass of red wine once and given her the fear you'll mess it up😉

I think I get why you're pissed off - it's because you're somehow not "good enough" to go in the best room. But I think it's probably just her safe space, or her haven, where she has everything just so and no one gets to mess it up in any way.

Don't be pissed off any more - just see it as a weird quirk of hers and let her get on with it. Or, y'know, your DH could talk to his brother and find out what it's all about.

At least it wasn't some kind of Bluebeard's den!

Bizarre, and so rude!

You're good enough to babysit for her but not good enough to sit on her sofa? Fuck that!

There still could be a sex dungeon. I bet the OP didn't get a chance to pull the rug back and uncover the trapdoor....... Or it could be under the sofa, or you have to move the clock on the mantel to the left and a secret panel slides open.

we don't have a front room anymore, our family room is the kitchen front room is one of the kids rooms

They have a 'best room'! The sofas probably have plastic covers to stop them from being soiled. I've only come across this in the 60s and 70s, when people liked to be a little Hyacinth Bucket! My parents did this, as did many of my friends' parents. It seems very weird to do it today.

My partners nan had a room for best. The vicar had to have tea in the kitchen because “that room was for best”. Quite old fashioned thinking!

We’re in the process of making a snug and the old living room will be the family room/ play room but I’d never lock it.

My grandparents all had a best front room. My parents, both born in 1920, thought that this was bonkers, particularly as it was never particularly hospitable, being generally cold, musty and uncomfortable.

I honestly don’t understand why it’s “rude” to do what you want with your own house. MN totally fucking baffles me sometimes.

Because it's extremely rude to tell someone they're not good enough for a bloody front room.

Weird how so many people think they are entitled to have access to anywhere they want in someone's house just because they are related.

Even weirder to bar a room against your own family and in effect say "This is the naice room; scum like you aren't allowed in there. I won't have riff raff like you sitting on my best furniture".

All those who say it's not unreasonable of the SIL, by all means have a room like that and bar me from it if you want, but first give me a damn good reason why that doesn't boil down to "You're riff raff, keep out"

I am pmsl at the idea of having A LOCK on the living room door 😮😮😂😂😂 I think you dsil is a sandwich short of a picnic op

Do they live on Coronation St? Nobody seems to use their front rooms on there either!

To all posters saying “It’s her room, why do you even care?”, would you say “It’s her child, why do you even care?” when OP agrees to babysit for her SiL?

Fuck all to do with you

I think in your situation OP, I would feel as though my SIL deemed me as riffraff and not posh enough for her ‘naice’ room! Is your SIL a snob OP? Are you and your dh and your family (including your db) from a more working class background?

I would ask your db if he needs a vip pass to get into his own lounge, and if he does, does he need a season ticket to get into his bedroom! Perhaps they are saving it for the Queen! I would love to have a ‘for best’ room, more so that when I have family and guests over there is somewhere immaculate for them, without dogs and kids having made their stamp on the room! But in truth I would hate to see the space wasted! What I would love is a Master Suite, with a small living are to chill out with a book or just a cuppa at the end of the day.

Here we go again.

If you are visiting someone at home then surely you are a guest? Hence you should be shown into a nice room. I suggest you act likewise should she ever visit you if you have the space.

Our French friends often sit around the kitchen table which I rather like. For formal dinners they use the dining room, then they go into the living room.

A friend of mine has a similar room as she works from home and some of her clients go to her for quotes or to discuss a project. Never thought it weird.

Would you be happy if people started going to your bedroom? Or study? Because normally on here when someone does it, especially a MIL, there's always the suggestion of locking the room (and going low contact).