To not want vegetarians to decide where we eat on holiday!

[indiestarr665]

Myself and a group of friends go on an annual city break, usually to somewhere in eastern europe, and this year’s trip is coming up. Two of our number are vegetarian, and they tend to dominate the decision making when it comes to where we eat. My issue is that this is often at the expense of ambiance and so on - what usually happens is we traipse around, they will look at the menus and reject anywhere that doesn’t have about half a dozen veggie choices, even if it looks really nice and there are one or two options they can go for. We often end up forsaking the most interesting restaurants for places that are mediocre but have numerous veggie options. Worse, they make a beeline for vegetarian or vegan restaurants, the argument being that the rest of us (who are the majority) can eat anything on the menu whereas it doesn’t work the other way round.
I do appreciate that they have less choice, but when visiting a new city I do feel a bit annoyed at not being able to go to places with, say, a great atmosphere, reputation, view, etc etc because the priority is always whether the veggie menu is extensive.
In anticipation of this year’s trip I’ve sent round a list of suggestions of places that are meant to be good and that are ‘vegetarian friendly’ in the hope that we choose restaurants that suit everyone, not just them. But my message has been met with ‘I’m sure we’ll be fine, there are bound to be plenty of places’ which makes me think we’ll end up doing the same old thing of traipsing round. I’ve jokingly said that I don’t want to go to any vegan places, but actually I’m not joking, I really don’t want to! Am I being unreasonable?

What I find is that meat eaters are amazed by the food when they eventually do eat in a vegan restaurant

Someone has to break it to you - we really are just being polite!

I’m a vegetarian and that’s 100% my choice, I wouldn’t want to stop others eating what they wanted. If somewhere had one or two options for me and someone else really wanted to try it I’d be happy with that. If I really wanted to try a vegetarian restaurant then I’d maybe say ‘ok, you pick the restaurant tonight and I’ll pick tomorrow’.

You also don’t have to eat together every night, maybe eat in separate groups one evening then meet up later for drinks.

I wouldn't go on holidays with those people anymore.
They sound like that's.

twats
Stupid phone.

The issue is that they are being selfish, not that they are vegetarian.

I'm vegan and in that situation, I would research in advance in the way you have done. Menus are online and it is easy to pick up the phone and ask a place if they can accommodate me.

It would be my responsibility to have ideas and suggestions as I am the one with the restricted diet.

The only time I would ever ask that we not eat somewhere is if there was absolutely nothing I could eat and I think that has only happened to me once.

It is the sense of entitlement which is frustrating. If people have special requirements they should put some effort into mitigating the impact on others. I would definitely follow the advice of saying that you are going to xxx and people can join if they want.

YANBU

You need to get the non-veggies on board with picking the restaurantS in advance and insisting on that.

Yanbu about not wanting to walk around to find a place that is vegan/veggie when you already have found some possible options. I would have expected the veggies to have done that beforehand.

However, yabu complaining when you could just go to separate restaurants. You don’t have to have every meal together.

I went on holiday with my in-laws and we only had dinner together, other meals we usually had separately. The downside of this though is we went to the same restaurant every night the whole holiday as well as spent a few lunches there. The food was good but after five meals there I wanted to try other places. I was happy when someone decided to just order pizzas for one night. I went off with our 1 year old in tow alone and went to other restaurants. No one batted an eye (as far as I know) and if they had an issue that was their problem.

I think YAB a bit U, and I'm not even a vegetarian. There's no reason why a non-vegetarian can't eat vegetarian food, unless they happen to be allergic to dairy products and eggs and nuts and pulses. If it's important to you to eat meat some of the time then definitely suggest eating separately some of the time, but please don't refuse to eat any vegetarian (or even vegan) food at all. You're a non-vegetarian, not an obligate carnivore.

This is why I prefer to go away on my own, deferring to a group dynamic means everyone ends up a bit dissatisfied by the compromise, whether it's restaurants, events, sights etc.

Pre planning is the way to as you have already suggested.

They are just being selfish by wanting everyone to mooch all round the streets until they find something they fancy to eat.

So either you pre plan for going to a good restaurants that caters for everyone or you split up to eat.

My mum is vegetarian and has been for donkeys years, I quite often prefer vegetarian food when I go out.

I'm surprised so many vegetarian on this thread still struggle to find more than 2 options when going out. Where do you live?

I've just googled the menus of 6 fairly local gastro pubs/ restaurants, all had good choices of mains from 4 to 6 , umpteen starters and sides. not one repeated same meal between them. (sorry I lie, 3 of them offers battered halloumi and chips)

I suspect some vegetarians are more like my DMs partner. Who is actually a fussy eater, so combine that with his veggie diet means he's never happy and believes there are not enough options for veggies. No he just doesn't like most of the choices because they have a spice in them or a herb he's never heard off, he will not try anything he suspects is too much for his palate. no matter how many times my DM says it's really really mild you would like it. he just pulls a disgusted face and says no.

We have all but given up going out for family meals when they visit now because he is a massive pain in the arse, and doesn't care that we are out to celebrate a DC birthday or mine and he just can not seat and eat in a place DC or me want to eat in for our special meal out, if the menu only has 2 things on that he could eat. He gets all uffy about them not catering for veggies(no they do, it's just the other things are things he doesn't like)

The last time we all went out for my Birthday, I researched a places that had won awards for catering for veggies, vegans, gluten free, dairy free and any other allergies you could think of. He sat an sulked because there was only 1 thing on the menu he would eat.

There's no reason why a non-vegetarian can't eat vegetarian food, unless they happen to be allergic to dairy products and eggs and nuts and pulses.

Maybe they simply don't want to. I certainly wouldn't want to travel overseas and be relegated to only vegetarian and vegan food to suit the whims of one of my party. Part of going away to me is to enjoy local cuisine and ignore my usual diet. Being forced to eat vegan for a week would completely ruin the holiday for me.

The vegetarians and vegans need to stop this 'but you CAN eat vegetarian and vegan'. Vegetarians and vegans can eat meat/fish, but are choosing not to. They need to give that same courtesy to people who choose to eat meat.

I can see both sides of this. I'm dairy intolerant and veggie, with a few allergies thrown in.
Worst experience recently was in a chain associated with short overnight stay (not naming as am trying to resolve). The menu had three things on it (of 40 or so choices of mains & desserts)that I could eat, but when I came to order there was just one thing available.
So that was really crap. So far they don't seem to understand my complaint.

Riftgibbon Surely you can appreciate your dietary needs are unusual?

So far they don't seem to understand my complaint.

I went to a restaurant and got fed. Compensate me. Good grief.

I wish posters would learn that people who eat meat are omnivores not carnivores.

Those of you who get pissy about vegetarians wanting a choice of food, try going out for dinner and eating the same damn thing every time. When I ate meat, I quite liked a nice steak, but I didn’t want it every time I went out. If every restaurant omnivores went to only had either steak or chicken Kiev or spaghetti bolognese on the menu, the way that they only have mushroom risotto or orange pasta or goat’s cheese something for vegetarians, you might understand why we moan! Not to mention the fact we end up paying as much for our sad bowl of tomato pasta as you do for your 8oz sirloin with all the trimmings. Plus it’s acceptable to be a picky eater if you’re an omnivore and there’s 10 things to choose from, as you can usually find something you like, but if you’re a vegetarian and there’s only one thing, you can guarantee it’ll be the thing you hate thereby making you look irredeemably picky.

@MoobaaMoobaa to be fair, chain places and pubs in this country tend to have lots of choice these days, but I think most people were talking about going abroad. It’s definitely easiest to be veggie in the UK now. When we go on holiday we go AI to somewhere with a buffet, because I’m always happy with vegetables or salads.

Vegetarians are also omnivores...

And being vegetarian is a choice and as a result I think it's normal to expect less choice.

I say that as a vegan btw.

Oh bullshit @MidniteScribbler. If you went to a restaurant with 40+ things on the menu and they told you that everything on there was out of stock apart from one thing that would be fine would it? Because that’s basically what happened to @RiftGibbon. I very much doubt you would be happy.

@HugsAreMyDrugs did I say they weren’t? So are vegans. Whatever. People are not carnivores.

Tell them to compromise. You will eat veggie one night if they will eat meat the next. Only fair.

I'm the first to defend vegetarians and vegans in most instances. There was a thread a few years ago where a vegan couple wanted vegan catering for their wedding. I was shocked at how many people said they should supply meat! Their wedding, their money, how would it kill anyone to forgo meat for one meal?

That being said, I also would not want to be dictated to on what to eat if I was on a holiday somewhere. A big part of the joy, for me, is the local cuisine. So if I was on holiday in Kerala, being veggie/vegan for that time would clearly not be a problem. Germany or France, however, there would be issues.

gingersausage
I know most people are talking about being abroad but it was about the handful of pp moaning about eating in the UK.

I agree it use to be pretty shit and samey eating out the in the UK But it is so much better now.

To people saying non veggies can eat veggie, that doesn't solve the problem of being expected to aimlessly traipsed round for upwards of an hour until a menu with multiple veggie offerings is stumbled upon, because they don't like planning where to eat in advance. The problem here isn't the need to find places offering suitable vegetarian food, its the insistence of the vegetarians on doing it in the most inconvenient way. OP isn't being remotely unreasonable. The fault is entirely with the friends.

fluffycloudland NZ lamb is nearly all halal ( as is a fair proportion of UK), but mainly pre-stunnned, so no different to non-halal, other than the prayer. Avoid specific halal butchers where you are more likely to find non-stunned Halal and you are unlikely to be eating anything that's been slaughtered in the fashion that most people seem to imagine constitutes halal.
Most chicken you buy in ready meals and sandwiches is likely to be halal, from Thailand or Brazil, too.

You are definitely not being unreasonable. And the argument that "you can eat anything, we can't" doesn't stack up unless they are vegetarian for medical reasons. They can eat anything, they just choose not to. It is a choice that no one forced on them. It should be majority rules, and the vegetarians/vegans should fit in around you, not the other way around. They have a cheek and I would say 'we are eating here and that's it, you can sit there and not eat, or eat somewhere just the two of you'. Or, alternatively, simply don't go on holiday with them. They don't sound enjoyable people to be around anyway.

I went on a friends holiday and one of our group is gluten and dairy intolerant. She was absolutely super about making sure that the restaurants had something suitable for her without being a pain. The being vegetarian is not the issue - it's the relentless fannying and inability to commit to a perhaps less than perfect eating option when others are hungry.

I'm a bit of a foodie so like to eat in lots of different places,but I read the mood of the group and know when it's time to go with the flow ( plus I get hangry as well). When on holiday I always carry a protein bar with me just in case, this was very helpful after an inedible meal in Budapest where we were booked on a wine tasting shortly after.