To not want vegetarians to decide where we eat on holiday!

[indiestarr665]

Myself and a group of friends go on an annual city break, usually to somewhere in eastern europe, and this year’s trip is coming up. Two of our number are vegetarian, and they tend to dominate the decision making when it comes to where we eat. My issue is that this is often at the expense of ambiance and so on - what usually happens is we traipse around, they will look at the menus and reject anywhere that doesn’t have about half a dozen veggie choices, even if it looks really nice and there are one or two options they can go for. We often end up forsaking the most interesting restaurants for places that are mediocre but have numerous veggie options. Worse, they make a beeline for vegetarian or vegan restaurants, the argument being that the rest of us (who are the majority) can eat anything on the menu whereas it doesn’t work the other way round.
I do appreciate that they have less choice, but when visiting a new city I do feel a bit annoyed at not being able to go to places with, say, a great atmosphere, reputation, view, etc etc because the priority is always whether the veggie menu is extensive.
In anticipation of this year’s trip I’ve sent round a list of suggestions of places that are meant to be good and that are ‘vegetarian friendly’ in the hope that we choose restaurants that suit everyone, not just them. But my message has been met with ‘I’m sure we’ll be fine, there are bound to be plenty of places’ which makes me think we’ll end up doing the same old thing of traipsing round. I’ve jokingly said that I don’t want to go to any vegan places, but actually I’m not joking, I really don’t want to! Am I being unreasonable?

We've been on a family holiday in Spain this summer and had that problem. 1 strict vegan, 1 veggie who tries to be vegan and one adult who wants a lot of meat and dislikes veggie food (the other two lean vegan but will sometimes eat meat).
We had proper Spanish food in traditional Spanish restaurant once, and the couple went out for lunch a few more times. Unfortunately as much as the meat eater wanted more family Spanish meals in Spain, it was pointed that in the vast majority of the restaurants he liked, two people could only eat potatas bravas (chips with a spicy sauce garnish). That wasn't fair on them.
The only answer is that sometimes you compromise - one night for them with only one thing on the menu, one night in a veggie place they choose, and other nights you either eat apart or find compromise places.
The veggies being in a new place and not wanting to eat the same veggie thing from the menu each night (the meat might change between restaurants, but the veggie option is normally the same) is completely reasonable. Just as you wanting to eat in cool places is also reasonable.

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I have the same problem with my veggie friends. They want the menu to have 10+ veggie items rather than 3/4. Best thing is to look at the menu online so you can agree or eat separately. Tell them no, you don’t want to be traipsing around finding somewhere to eat!

Yanbu. I’m veggie and I wouldn’t dream of dictating where everyone can eat like that. And as for insisting you all eat at vegetarian or vegan places
Do your own thing and let them do theirs if they’re rude enough to kick up a fuss.

Yes it's the traipsing around that's the worst of it. People start to get 'hangry' and that's when we end up somewhere rubbish because nobody can bear it any more!

Are you sure the rest of the group feel the same way as you do?

If they do, then just put your foot down. Feds suggest split up.

This happened to me once the other way around. 2 people wanted to go to expensive steak place, no one else wanted to (some vegetarian, some not). They pushed and pushed and refused to split off. Was so annoying. They sulked , we caved. I never went away with them again. So don’t do that op

Yeah the more I think about this the more I think the issue is the traipsing, not so much the veggie food. It's weird that they wouldn't look at your list of suggestions, but maybe they aren't the planning sort?

In the words of Henry Ford ‘I don’t want choice I just want what I want’. I’m vegetarian and wouldn’t dream of dictating restaurants if there is a perfectly good meal available at restaurant of everyone’s choice. I don’t need 10 choices just one thing.
Impersonally draw the line at restaurants who
Parade live lobsters through the restaurant to your table to gawk at before killing it etc but so too do my meat/fish eating friends.
Obvs if the vegetarians have had a couple of meals where there has been no choice then of course you should all look for a better variety but not all the bloody time !

A good example of something Nassim Taleb calls "Minority Rule".

Basically, small intolerant minorities get to have their way over more tolerant majorities.

Another example - around half of the lamb imported or processed in the UK is now "religiously killed" (i.e. halal), despite Islam making up something like 3-4% of the population. Why? Because non muslims will eat halal, whilst muslims won't eat non-halal.

Your only options are to acquiesce or be as intolerant as them.

I feel emboldened by the responses here. I always felt like I couldn't say I wasn't happy because it was unreasonable of me not to prioritise their lack of choice, but I can see now that the compromise has all been on one side, and that it's perfectly reasonable to assert that I would like to eat somewhere special at least once or twice - they can either come along or we can split the group. Sounds totally fair. Thanks all!

Actually not sure that was ford. Was the car industry though who had a revolutionary effect on marketing and supply by no longer offering all varieties/colours on forecourts but asking customers to order what they wanted.

oh ‘emboldened’ there’s a word ! Good luck op.

take Germany veggie options were one baked potato with cheese

I used to live in Germany and there were loads of great veggie options - including amazing and filling salads in most places, much better than here in the UK. You can’t judge a whole country’s veggie options by one restaurant experience.

Say you'd like to book a few restaurants before going to avoid the traipsing around that everyone hates. Should we take a night booking each?

Not the same but similar, we went to krakow with a group of friends. For us, trying the local foods is all part of the holiday, some of our friends were vocal in their disappointment in the food (teenagers picking at their food and looking across to their parents who were indicating to them to leave it). I had booked really good restaurants for the first 2 nights and this family of 4 put a real downer on it for the rest of us - won't eat this, don't like that etc. We ate separately for the following 2 nights (they found the Hardrock Café) and everyone was happy. Seems like a good solution.

we did this on holiday, only one of them was a vegan. Imagine trying to find a place in Eastern Europe with a variety of interesting vegan offerings. Not easy. And then when it arrives at the table, watching them interrogate the poor waiter to make sure the snot sized bit of dressing is vegan. Purlease.

Dissimiltude it's because we only eat the choicest parts of a sheep. A big proportion of the sheep gets exported, primarily to Muslim countries. If we ate the whole animal it would be economic to have non halal slaughter. As we are fussy it isn't u less we want to pay a lot more and dump the bits we don't like.

@SpuriouserAndSpuriouser no, they're not the planning sort, which is actually a big part of the problem! They don't like to research, they just prefer it to happen spontaneously. In an ideal world it would be great to just stumble across that perfect restaurant but in reality that hardly ever happens!

Another vegetarian who wouldn't dream of dictating where the group eat - as long as there are a couple of veggie options. However, France is particularly pants when it comes to veggie choice although haven't been to Paris for a long time so may have changed. Some people will use any excuse to get their own way (maybe they want the cheaper option?). Surely they could have one dinner at a place of their choice and be happy with that?

Some posters have suggested they go off on their own, but personally I would want to stick together on a group holiday if possible.

Researching first is a good idea so you don't have to traipse.

So you would be just fine going to restaurants which only had a couple of things you could eat on the mention or better yet didn't even tell you what the option was but just listed "indiestar option"?

In addition restaurants serving the same tired old "vegetarian option" tend to be pretty cavalier about the ingredients whereas those with more choice tend to have someone in the kitchen who cares.

Either do more research in advance or eat separately some nights. However also consider that what you consider to be more atmosphere could be very different to other people's and your idea of "hangry" and "traipsing" might actually be enjoyable browsing for others.

53rdWay 😁 that made me laugh.
I do actually prefer to eat a bigger meal at lunch time as I've have a few stomach issues lately so the lighter evening meal suits me better. I'm more than happy to eat alone if needs be.

'Even' in Eastern Europe, veggie restaurants are increasingly common and increasingly good. You might well find somewhere that suits you all.

Heron, I don't know that one but Ford did say 'Any customer can have a car painted any color that he wants so long as it is black.'

I’m not veggie but I don’t like most meat. Went to Germany with a large group and just went with the flow... hardly anything I could eat. Ended up just having pudding in one place. But I was with fab friends and had a lovely time. I wouldn’t want to traipse round either, you are not being unreasonable.

Say you'd like to book a few restaurants before going to avoid the traipsing around that everyone hates. Should we take a night booking each?

This just say that infact just copy and paste it to your friends

Paris for a long time so may have changed

Not unless you go to the left bank and some of the regional restaurants. Even in good restaurants its very difficult to get vegetarian/vegan food. One of my abiding memories working in Paris was being presented with a plate of boiled vegetables for a work lunch They were delicious vegetables but I was bloody hungry a couple of hours later.