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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's just oranges. I need to let it go. Why am I so pissed off??

233 replies

NoDontLookAtMeImShy · 23/08/2019 15:19

DS (8) ate 4 oranges a couple of weeks ago.
Bought some more, I told him not to eat 4, so he took the whole packet and said he would eat 5 Hmm

He refused to put them back, I confiscated his phone he had a tantrum that I haven't seen since he was 3.

Roll on 3 weeks and I bought some oranges an hour ago.
We all like the bloody oranges.
I go up stairs to settle the baby, come back down and he's eaten all of them.

I was supposed to take him to the park for ice cream but now I'm so livid he's in his room and I said no to park and ice cream because he's been selfish.

But it's just oranges, I should let it go shouldn't I?

We were all looking forward to getting out and enjoying the sun. I'm just so pissed off with him doing whatever the fuck he pleases.

OP posts:
CurlyWurlyTwirly · 23/08/2019 16:18

don't usually ration fruit, but he is taking the absolute pee

Not a new baby issue (he's an older baby) but we have just moved house, from the only home he has known.

I’d be talking about why he’s acting out, instead of scolding him.
Sounds like attention seekers no for a good reason

NabooThatsWho · 23/08/2019 16:22

When you say little oranges, 4 little ones isn’t loads.
It’s not like he scoffed a bag of sweets or biscuits or something.
Are you on a low income?
Otherwise I think you’re having a huge overreaction

Sigh. It’s not about the fruit. It’s the fact he was told not to eat them all, he then said he would eat 5, and proceeded to scoff the lot. His rotten attitude was the problem. Luckily OP has dealt with it properly.

ZazieTheCat · 23/08/2019 16:24

Wonder if he’ll eat all the new oranges?

I saw a really good contemporary dance piece about childhood memories of eating and missing out on mangoes recently. It was performed by a small dance troop composed of brothers from Korea.

Mistlewoeandwhine · 23/08/2019 16:26

If it was my child, I’d assume his body craved some vitamins and buy him his own bag of oranges separately from the family’s. I wouldn’t shout at him - I’d hug him and ask if anything was troubling him. He’s obviously angry and sad and punishing him is going to make it worse.

BertrandRussell · 23/08/2019 16:26

“*When you say little oranges, 4 little ones isn’t loads.”

No, it’s not. But there are none left for anyone else. That’s the point!

Mistlewoeandwhine · 23/08/2019 16:27

I tend to ‘flood’ my kids with things like food so that they don’t make any issues about them. And my kids are great at sharing etc. I never need to ask them to do it.

AmateurSwami · 23/08/2019 16:28

My son sometimes eats loads of oranges in a day, he goes through phases, but he asks first. You’ve done the right thing- the issue is the defiance, not the fact that “OMG a kid ate fruit” Hmm

Thunderpunt · 23/08/2019 16:29

I need @MrsTerryPratchett in my life to help me Parent (can I use that as a verb?)
A great solution to this issue, and overall brilliant approach to positive parenting.
When can you come and sort me and my kids out? GrinGrin

ChangeItChild · 23/08/2019 16:31

He needs to learn to share, eating all the oranges before any of the family get a chance to have one is greedy and selfish.

It doesn't matter if it was oranges (healthy) or biscuits (unhealthy) that he's guzzled up, he must take heed to your request that he not eat them all.

5 oranges in one sitting is still a hell of a lot of sugar btw.

burntpinky · 23/08/2019 16:31

I have the same issue with my husband. Despite being told 20 million times and specifically this week not to eat the crisps which were mine (as he had already had his share) went I went to have them last night he’d snaffled them.

He tells me he can’t help it. He often eats his share of stuff The I feel sorry for him and give him some of mine (if he’s not already eaten it) so he ends up having about 3/4 of the treats.

YANBU - I’d nip the greediness in the bud now or he’ll be like my DH when older.

I was raging last night over crispgate and almost posted here but then decided I’d drink the rest of the wine

BertrandRussell · 23/08/2019 16:36

“5 oranges in one sitting is still a hell of a lot of sugar btw.”

Go Mumsnet!!! Grin
I agree. It’s greedy and selfish.

BirthdayDreamer · 23/08/2019 16:37

Not really related to the AIBU but watch his teeth. Oranges have a load of sugar, it's not just chocolate & sweets type sugar that do the damage.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 23/08/2019 16:51

Crikey, he's going to get the runs big time! I expect that will be a form of 'natural consequences' ...

Grambler · 23/08/2019 16:53

You're gonna need more bog roll Yep make sure you use the ice cream cash for that as well Grin

I'm not sure teenagers are more easy - I've just found 4 different open containers of tomatoes, 3 open packets of grapes, and two - each - of strawberries, raspberries and blueberries that DD has opened, taken a handful of and put back in the fridge, only to open another packet of next time she stuck her head in.

ScrimshawTheSecond · 23/08/2019 16:54

Also, no, it's not just oranges. It sounds like he's asking for your attention in the kind of irritating, difficult way that children have.

Has he had less paid to him since the baby arrived? Special time? Time with just you? Trouble at school?

Belfield · 23/08/2019 16:57

This is not about the clementines. This is about you feeling like he is not following the rules. You have a baby, toddler, son and teenager(s) which is a lot to handle. With a house move and bigger family this can be a lot for your son also. I would try and engage with him more to see if there is anything bothering him as he seems to be v defiant with you. I don't personally see how punishing him is going to improve his behaviour and I don't see how you think he was in agreement with the punishment as he was crying. Forget about the oranges and pay attention to his behaviour. I am presuming this is a wider issue.

skybluee · 23/08/2019 16:57

It's interesting that this was so much more conflicted because it was oranges vs ice creams.

AlexaAmbidextra · 23/08/2019 16:59

If it was my child, I’d assume his body craved some vitamins and buy him his own bag of oranges separately from the family’s. I wouldn’t shout at him - I’d hug him and ask if anything was troubling him. He’s obviously angry and sad and punishing him is going to make it worse.

Oh yes. That’s the way to do it. A child who’s old enough to know better deliberately flouts instructions and acts selfishly so mum cuddles the little darling and offers no reprimand. No wonder we see so many unpleasant, out of control children out and about.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 23/08/2019 17:00

This is a wind them up and watch them go threAd. It has to be. No one would carry on like that over oranges, would theyConfused

whattodowith · 23/08/2019 17:00

He shouldn’t have a phone.

He’s probably attention seeking because of the baby.

I’m amazed he didn’t wind up with stomach ache.

MrsTerryPratchett · 23/08/2019 17:02

Oh no @Thunderpunt you have kids plural? You're on your own Grin

BTW I sound all Zen but the reason I do it like this is that I was given a child with ADHD and had no skills. I was a bit of a 'do as I say' parent during her early toddlerhood and it failed very badly. It took a lot of work to get me to do it differently and fortunately DD has responded amazingly.

She's all about fixing her mistakes now. We'll see how the teenage years go. I was an absolute shit. But my mother set everything up as a battle so it's unsurprising.

WalkersAreNotTheOnlyCrisps · 23/08/2019 17:02

Selfish behaviour, knowing he's stopping others having some by eating so many, and old enough to know it is.

BertrandRussell · 23/08/2019 17:16

“No one would carry on like that over oranges, would theyconfused“
No they wouldn’t. But it’s not about oranges. It’s about one family member eating everyone else’s share of something. A family is just like any other community. Consideration goes a very long way

InsertFunnyUsername · 23/08/2019 17:24

If I told my child not to eat all of whatever it is, to leave some for others and they continued to eat them all, then yes that would annoy me. I'm not sure why it wouldn't, and by the sounds of it the OPs child did it because he can. That's exactly what the OP would have to deal with if she "just buy more oranges" Surely everyone knows that's not the point Confused

C8H10N4O2 · 23/08/2019 17:28

I'm also with you OP - its not about the oranges its about sharing in a family and being considerate. At 8 he is old enough to know this and not repeat the behaviour after being told explicitly.

Using the ice cream money to replace them seems like a good option.