It's just oranges. I need to let it go. Why am I so pissed off??

[NoDontLookAtMeImShy]

DS (8) ate 4 oranges a couple of weeks ago.
Bought some more, I told him not to eat 4, so he took the whole packet and said he would eat 5

He refused to put them back, I confiscated his phone he had a tantrum that I haven't seen since he was 3.

Roll on 3 weeks and I bought some oranges an hour ago.
We all like the bloody oranges.
I go up stairs to settle the baby, come back down and he's eaten all of them.

I was supposed to take him to the park for ice cream but now I'm so livid he's in his room and I said no to park and ice cream because he's been selfish.

But it's just oranges, I should let it go shouldn't I?

We were all looking forward to getting out and enjoying the sun. I'm just so pissed off with him doing whatever the fuck he pleases.

OP shouldn't have to buy more. It's selfish, greedy behaviour and he knows he has been told not to do it several times.

Ha ha! Wow, that boy really likes oranges!!!

Someone once told me that every mistake your child makes is actually you being presented with a chance to teach them something (or some bollocks like that). So maybe talk to him about being considerate of others?

Is is kinda funny though!

Sounds reasonable to me - he deliberately defied you. Just because it was a 'healthy' dose of sugar snack this time doesn't mean it won't be all the chocolate or something that is specifically for his sibling at a later date.

Don't give the phone back. If he's tantrumming so much over it now, you need to break his dependence upon it before he's big enough to take it back off you by force (yes, there are 11 - 14 year old who do that - one was permanently excluded at one place I worked because they attacked the staff member at that point and plenty of adults and children fail external qualification tests/exams through refusing to give them up).

I can’t understand posters saying it’s just fruit, what’s the problem etc??? The first time I’d have been surprised and told him not to do it again, just as the op did, but after that’s it totally unacceptable behaviour whatever way you look at it. He’s deliberately doing the opposite of what you asked.

Your punishments seem fair op and in future yes I’d be putting the stuff he’s not allowed free access to out of his reach.

Also I’d be worried that he’d use food and stuff himself just to be defiant?

There are 2 things going on, and they need to be separated.
He shouldn't be disobeying you so wilfully, and the tantrum afterwards isnt really acceptable.

But, buy another net of oranges! 2 satsumas are a serving here (and DS2, who is also 8, could easily eat 4 or 5 in a go).

Id just buy loads of oranges if he likes them so much. I don't really ration fruit and veg

On the face of it the entire situation is odd.

There's nothing wrong with eating 4 satsumas at all.

8 year olds should do as they're told.

You've chosen a properly peculiar hill to die on.

The issue is him deliberately trying to provoke you by directly doing the opposite to what you say, and you taking the bait, massively over reacting and "seething" about a child eating oranges if all things.

Eating oranges is good.

Not being able to control an 8 year old without resorting to massively disproportionate arbitrary punishment is bad.

Try natural consequences - what you're doing us making things worse.

I don't usually ration fruit, but he is taking the absolute pee recently.

Not a new baby issue (he's an older baby) but we have just moved house, from the only home he has known.

Try natural consequences - what you're doing us making things worse.

Two suggestions,

1. He buys extra oranges to eat from his pocket money for him.

1. You're really sorry because you now you can only buy big oranges to cut up because he's taking all the little ones. face and sympathy.

*WOW. 8 year old eats fruit. mum goes mental.

buy 2 bags of oranges, 1 for him 1 for everyone else.*

Yes, DON'T think of teaching a child to consider others, that would be a ridiculous thing!!

But it’s not just oranges is it?

He’s deliberately testing boundaries.

Very good parenting to reinforce them, and subconsciously he’ll be pleased that you have as it’s a safety thing.

Fruit is expensive

No it's not.

You're still seething? With an 8 year old?
Good luck when he's a teenager....

Ah, satsumas. That makes more sense. We buy a massive box of them as the kids love them so much.

If it’s just about satsumas. I think you are being a bit OTT, but it sounds like there is other stuff going on.

Ooops posted too soon.

A bag of sweetclems in asda is about £1.
You'd pay far more than that for a Magnum, for example!

Thank you MrsTerryPratchett you helped us reach a resolution and end WW3.

We are now all going to the park, but he isn't having the planned ice cream. Instead I'm using the money for the ice cream to buy the oranges on the way home, replacing the ones he ate.

He cried, but now in agreement.

The fact that they are oranges is irrelevant. It is the behaviour you should focus on.

I bet you OP - I think it's the principle isn't it? Not doing what he's told as well as not thinking about sharing.

I must confess I did this with food too (foster care kid - if you don't eat first you don't eat!) even well after I was adopted. Stockpiling mentality!

My clever mum gave me a while to adjust but then told me I would turn bright orange if I had more than two but I could have other fruit if I wanted more.

I got really worried about turning orange and thought yellow might fade it so I ate a whole lemon.

You only do that the once 😂

Don't be too hard on him OP, you don't want to put him off healthy food as it's so great to have an 8 year old loving fruit.

Could you take him to the shops with a budget of a pound or two and get him to pick out fruit for him AND you, so he gets to feel a little bit grown up and part of the choice but also learns to share?

Velocity7 thanks for your helpful post.
I have teenagers. They are easier.

That was meant to say "I get you OP"

Does it matter if its oranges or bread or chocolate. The point is they were for everybody and that isnt fair. I could eat a tin of roses in one sitting but if I had purchased them for the family that would be greedy, unkind and rude.

massively disproportionate arbitrary punishment

FFS, he was asked not to eat all the oranges 3 weeks ago. He did so and was punished with phone removal. That's perfectly reasonable.

Today, he's eaten all the oranges AGAIN. Punishment - no park and no ice cream. Again, perfectly reasonable and especially so considering he KNOWS not to eat them all.

It doesn't matter if it's satsumas, bananas, Freddos or crisps, he did the exact opposite of what was asked of him. Removal of privileges is not 'massively disproportionate'. As for 'natural consequences', in other words, no oranges for anyone else, I highly doubt he gives a shit.

He's playing up because the recent house move has unsettled him.

Yes you're all right.
Of course it isn't about the oranges it's about the behaviour and I wasn't separating the two issues.

Thanks for the help, I needed it! It's been a tough few weeks.

Completely baffled with how many posters are saying YABU because it's only fruit... eating 5 oranges in less than an hour isn't healthy for anyone. A quick google search will tell you it can cause diarrhoea and abdominal cramps.