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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's just oranges. I need to let it go. Why am I so pissed off??

233 replies

NoDontLookAtMeImShy · 23/08/2019 15:19

DS (8) ate 4 oranges a couple of weeks ago.
Bought some more, I told him not to eat 4, so he took the whole packet and said he would eat 5 Hmm

He refused to put them back, I confiscated his phone he had a tantrum that I haven't seen since he was 3.

Roll on 3 weeks and I bought some oranges an hour ago.
We all like the bloody oranges.
I go up stairs to settle the baby, come back down and he's eaten all of them.

I was supposed to take him to the park for ice cream but now I'm so livid he's in his room and I said no to park and ice cream because he's been selfish.

But it's just oranges, I should let it go shouldn't I?

We were all looking forward to getting out and enjoying the sun. I'm just so pissed off with him doing whatever the fuck he pleases.

OP posts:
Fatted · 23/08/2019 19:18

I'd just let him eat them and get the shits.

BertrandRussell · 23/08/2019 19:36

What delicate stomachs some of you have?

Ginnymweasley · 23/08/2019 19:56

Why ar people focusing on what he ate rather than the fact he ate food that was meant to be shared. He had been told not to eat it but did it anyway,purposefully while his mum was busy elsewhere. So he knew exactly what he was doing. The fact its oranges is irrelevant. And fruit is full of sugar no matter what anyone says. Fructose is sugar. Your body breaks it down the same way as any other sugars. Naturally occurring or not it s still sugar.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/08/2019 20:17

So if mum bought rolex watches for the family and he wanted them all it would be ok if she could afford to buy replacements?

Ok yes that is extreme but if you don't learn the basics of sharing and limits this is what it leads to. A bag of satsumas for every one to share is exactly that. The problem is deliberately taking something that was meant for everybody.

BertrandRussell · 23/08/2019 20:20

“The problem is deliberately taking something that was meant for everybody.”
Yep. This.

Knittingnanny · 23/08/2019 20:21

This is so not about the fruit.
This is so unfair on the rest of the family in the same way if someone ate all the bread and drank all the milk just because it was there.
It’s a bit like the children ( a few, not all) in my year 2 class who grab all of the best art and craft stuff quickly and leave the dregs for the ones who would have shared more fairly. I make them put it back. It’s not about how much it cost, it’s about be considerate to others.
I think your resolution was a success, hope he has learned from it and shares more fairly next time. Even if he eats 4! As long as there are plenty for the others in his family.

Beautiful3 · 23/08/2019 20:43

Sometimes my kids eat a lot of oranges so I buy 2 bags. One for them and one for us. It's just fruit.

MerryDeath · 23/08/2019 20:55

wtf are some mumsnetters missing here. it's not about the sodding fruit it's about the intent, ffs.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/08/2019 21:02

Ffs its not just about it being fruit. If you let them have what they want that's what they get used to. So then it's asking for trouble when you try and limit things.

Kids also (and some adults) tend to eat just because its there and also because if they don't eat it a sibling might.

billy1966 · 23/08/2019 21:03

I had the same issue with one of my boys. I also didn't like it.
It was selfish and greedy.
Spelt it out to him and sent him to replace the 6 pack of crisps that he ate because they were his favourite.

It's about consideration for those you live with.

It's this type of stuff that makes people selfish gits to end up married to.

Well done OP for calling him out on it and not letting it go.

OrangeJustice · 23/08/2019 21:11

Omfg it’s not a phone! The op has already said it’s an iPod but they call it a phone. RTfuckingT.

BasiliskStare · 24/08/2019 02:59

In our family food is meant for sharing. There is no dividing up per person. Occasionally if I ( indeed increasingly my Ds ) buy some things to make a specific meal - those are "off limits" for general scavenging because have been bought for a specific meal / recipe. But surely the orange / satsuma thing is a red herring.

It is just sheer simple good manners to not take the last of anything meant for the family without asking those there at the time if they would like some - whether it be half a satsuma or half a slice of pizza or the rest of last night's takeaway It doesn't matter to me what it is it is just basic good manners and on the whole life works better , I think , if people are considerate.

Other cliches are available upon request Grin

FuckFacePlatapus · 24/08/2019 04:27

Only on Mumsnet do you get posters moaning about kids eating too much sugary fruit 

Fruit is fruit you sad bunch of perfect parents, and @NoDontLookAtMeImShy seething over oranges? Get a grip

saraclara · 24/08/2019 04:40

@FuckFacePlatapus it's not about the oranges. It's about him being entitled and greedy and taking everyone else's share (when he's already been told not to repeat that behaviour). The OP has made that very clear.

Plasebeafleabite · 24/08/2019 05:03

Wait till he’s 14 and your entire weekly shop has been scoffed in 24 hours

BertrandRussell · 24/08/2019 06:07

“Wait till he’s 14 and your entire weekly shop has been scoffed in 24 hours“
He’d be selfish, greedy and unpleasant then too.

Vasya · 24/08/2019 06:29

phone removal is completely arbitrary and totally unconnected to what he actually did. Punishments like that are solely about power and showing the weaker party who's boss. They work for a while but the child learns only that the parent currently holds more power - that's all.

The natural consequence of using the money intended for the child's ice-cream to replace the oranges actually makes sense and follows as a consequence of the child's actions, therefore the child thinks and learns and understands that actions have consequences.

Punishing arbitrarily merely creates children who consider the odds of getting caught, not the consequences of their actions.

This sounds like a load of unsubstantiated tripe to me.

I understand why you might want to try a 'natural consequences' approach with a very young child who can't understand concepts of punishment.

But OP's son is 8. He is perfectly able to understand that if he is is selfish or dishonest, the consequence will be that he loses out on something he enjoys, like using his iPod.

BertrandRussell · 24/08/2019 06:32

Phone removal is fine. He’s not a toddler. If you want to link “crime” to “punishment” you could say that he deprived the rest of his family if something- so he gets deprived of something. But no need. He is being sanctioned for being greedy and selfish- not for eating oranges.

AsTheWorldTurns · 24/08/2019 06:34

I would be irritated if it were cake or similar, but fruit - I'd just buy more.

BertrandRussell · 24/08/2019 06:35

“I would be irritated if it were cake or similar, but fruit - I'd just buy more.“
Why does it matter what it is? He deliberately ate everyone’s share!

Dieu · 24/08/2019 06:37

I wouldn't be happy either, OP. He's behaving like a brat, and it's selfish not to leave any for anyone else.
YANBU.

Dieu · 24/08/2019 06:38

And those who are saying 'it's only fruit, no big deal' are spectacularly missing the point.

Pinkarsedfly · 24/08/2019 06:38

OP, you need to tell him that oranges are not the only fruit.

YouTheCat · 24/08/2019 06:39

You know those threads where someone posts about their selfish dh eating all the treats/kids' Easter eggs, etc? This is where it starts.

CheeseChipsMayo · 24/08/2019 06:40

Ur bonkers..get a real problem or get 2the docs for some temazepam..buy extra oranges if its seriously impacting ur family life😂