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Original poster

Just been shouted out by funeral party...

717 replies

Pinklady1982 · 23/08/2019 13:05

Aibu to be feeling really upset by this? I was just driving along and a funeral car pulled out slowly from a turning. They had about 10 cars behind it which were possibly all part of the party, so I slowed down and let a load of cars through. Now this was a residential road and I could see some other cars had joined the back of the queue. I started easing forward a bit as if I kept waiting there letting all the cars out I would be there ages and needed to get home, also I wasn't to know if they were all part of the funeral. I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out. I just put my window up and pulled over as I felt a bit shaken. I'm feeling a bit vulnerable anyway at the moment and I hate confrontation. I know that at these times emotions will be heightened, but was I really in the wrong here? They were going to then be pulling out onto a main road where I'm sure they would be seperated by other cars, so you can't all expect to stay together surely?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 03:48

At serious risk of being called names by the thread police, here is my answer to your question, PinkSparklyPussyCat.

Not all funeral goers have access to maps of unfamiliar or recently built up areas, not all of them can use a map app on their phones or GPS in their cars, very often many of them are elderly and may not have been in certain areas since they got built up, or there may be new motorways or roundabouts in an area they don't live in any more, there are sometimes detours, roadwork, problems that crop up with a pre-planned route through unfamiliar areas, and almost all of the mourners will be anxious not to end up missing the burial or casting of ashes or whatever follows the crematorium or church service because of relying on their own navigation skills.

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 04:11

And again... see?

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 04:15

I see there is more than one poster playing thread police here...

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 04:51

Blooming heck, I cannot believe I am doing this again, but here goes...

If there is an accident between 2 cars, the one that doesn't have 'right of way' will be deemed to be at fault and to have caused the accident. That's why it's called 'right of way'. It's a common-sense way to stop people driving like arses and having accidents.

If the OP had driven into the back of someone already in the procession, she would have been 'at fault', but that isn't what happened. Had she hit shouty lady, who was pushing in, then SL would have been 'at fault'. As I have already said, funeral processions have to comply with the Highway Code. Fortunately, there was no accident as SL yelled at her and pushed in anyway. SL acted like a prat, she may have had her reasons, but she was in the wrong.

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 05:01

You are wrong.

The rules of the road are demonstrably not a common sense way to stop people driving like arses, or causing accidents.

The driver who keeps going despite traffic conditions is the one who causes the accident. If you can see moving vehicles in your path, then you have to brake or continue to sit, and allow others to proceed on their merry way.

Common sense and defensive driving are the only ways to prevent carnage on the roads.

The OP sat waiting to allow what she thought was the entire funeral procession to go ahead, then tried to nose in despite oncoming traffic that included the car carrying the shouty woman.

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 05:13

Not all funeral goers have access to maps of unfamiliar or recently built up areas, not all of them can use a map app on their phones or GPS in their cars, very often many of them are elderly and may not have been in certain areas since they got built up, or there may be new motorways or roundabouts in an area they don't live in any more, there are sometimes detours, roadwork, problems that crop up with a pre-planned route through unfamiliar areas, and almost all of the mourners will be anxious not to end up missing the burial or casting of ashes or whatever follows the crematorium or church service because of relying on their own navigation skills.

What? Who goes to something as important as a funeral and doesn't know how to get there? That's the very least you need to do. And just because you are elderly, it doesn't mean you are stupid! My elderly relatives tend to plan more than the younger generations to go to events, not less. BTW my parents, and aunts and uncles that drive, all use sat-navs. I think you are making this up as you go along now mathanxiety

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 05:16

The rules of the road are demonstrably not a common sense way to stop people driving like arses, or causing accidents.

??????????????????????????????????????????!

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 05:28

No, you are wrong. I have been in an accident in a similar scenario and the car pulling out was deemed at fault - apparently insurance companies do this automatically (in UK).

OP quite clearly said SL was the one who tried to nose in and wasn't in her path - she yelled and pulled out.

@Pinklady1982 was trying to do the right thing and had no way of knowing who this woman was. Not sure why are you vilifying her

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 05:38

The rules of the road are demonstrably not a common sense way to stop people driving like arses, or causing accidents.

If they were, then we'd have no accidents, now would we?

The 'car pulling out is at fault' scenario is not like this one where the OP was not moving initially but started moving regardless of not seeing an opening in the traffic.

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 05:45

OP quite clearly said SL was the one who tried to nose in and wasn't in her path - she yelled and pulled out.
No, you have misread it.

I had right of way as they were in a side turning, but sat there patiently for a while. Well this lady then rolls down her window and starts shouting at me! Saying they are part of the funeral party and could I not see that. I explained that I had let about 10 cars go and wasn't to know who was part of the party and who wasn't. She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out.

So she is sitting and letting cars go by, then tries nosing into into the traffic. Then gets shouted at, then pulls over.

The shouty woman was not nosing in. The OP states clearly that she was sitting and waiting, then tried to get into the procession based not on seeing an opening in the traffic but on the fact that the woman was wearing a top that wasn't black. They were close enough for a conversation to take place, so the OP should not have tried moving.

mathanxiety · 04/09/2019 05:46

And obv she was close enough to notice the colour of this woman's top. Too close therefore to try joining the traffic.

Bubsworth · 04/09/2019 05:51

25 pages. When is the funeral for this thread?

Mothership4two · 04/09/2019 06:17

The rules of the road are demonstrably not a common sense way to stop people driving like arses, or causing accidents... If they were, then we'd have no accidents, now would we?

I think you will find we have accidents because people don't follow the rules of the road

"She just shouted at me to get out of the way very loudly and rudely and pulled out" - OP was moving on and she pushed in. Of course she could see what she looked like if she pushed in in front of her.

If they had had a prang, the SL would have been 'at fault' from the insurance POV (and literally).

Lots of posters have explained it to you many many times and you just don't understand.

@Bubsworth you are quite right - I am losing the will to live!

DappledThings · 04/09/2019 06:59

Too close therefore to try joining the traffic

OP wasn't joining the traffic. OP had let a number of people pull out in front of her who were in a side road joining the main road. The woman in the pink top continued to try to push out when it was not her right of way trying to force OP to continue to let umpteen people out who did not have right of way.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 04/09/2019 07:28

Back in the day before sat navs, if I was going somewhere I used to work out my route beforehand. Surely anyone who was that bothered about the funeral would do that. And please don't give me 'many them might be elderly' - they can probably read an A-Z better than younger people!

iklboo · 04/09/2019 07:31

Mathanxiety for Christ's sake, channel Elsa.

AlexaAmbidextra · 04/09/2019 07:57

You were not being unreasonable, the dead don’t care anyway. I was in a graveyard once, and hopped over a wall to get somewhere. Someone shouted at me so I told them to get a life. Very apt I thought!

And you’re boasting about that? You’re whole attitude is so ill-mannered. How old are you? Thirteen? Hmm

AlexaAmbidextra · 04/09/2019 08:09

It's pretty obvious who is in the funeral procession as they have flags on the cars, their lights on or you can just tell from their clothes.

Funeral processions are told to keep going through red lights and other traffic has to wait.

Well I have no idea where in the country/world you are ElizaDee but I have never heard of flags on cars and running red lights. Confused

mathanxiety · 05/09/2019 07:26

OP had let a number of people pull out in front of her who were in a side road joining the main road.

So she was sitting there, and then tried to start moving again when she felt enough cars had passed regardless of the fact that she could see other cars following and had time to note many other cars further back. This = 'joining the traffic'.
She should have stayed put despite having the right of way. You can't just stand on your rights regardless of conditions even if the other traffic isn't following the rules.

I think you will find we have accidents because people don't follow the rules of the road
Exactly, Mothership.
We have accidents despite the rules.
Which is what I said.

She wasn't 'moving on'. She was nosing into a line of cars following each other despite being close enough to see the colour of the woman's shirt, and to speak (not shout) to this woman after being shouted at. Clearly both cars were stopped for the interaction in which the OP offered the long explanation of her intentions to the shouty woman.

DappledThings · 05/09/2019 07:32

So she was sitting there, and then tried to start moving again when she felt enough cars had passed regardless of the fact that she could see other cars following and had time to note many other cars further back

Yes, because she had done a lot of drivers a favour already, she probably had other drivers behind her who also wanted (and had the right to) continue unimpeded on the main road and those continuing to pull out of the side road were taking the piss.

mathanxiety · 05/09/2019 07:40

No matter how she felt about being a mug, she still can't nose into moving traffic, and no doubt other drivers could also see what she was seeing and draw their own conclusions.

You have to drive according to actual traffic conditions, not your feelings.

DappledThings · 05/09/2019 07:45

she still can't nose into moving traffic

Yes she can. She can make her intention to reassert her right of way clear by nosing forward. Perfectly fine. And I would argue she had the responsibility to do so and not to keep holding up the traffic on the main road.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/09/2019 10:22

No matter how she felt about being a mug, she still can't nose into moving traffic

I do it every day - I'd never leave the office if I didn't!

iklboo · 05/09/2019 13:25

The (funeral) traffic pulling out of the side road were 'nosing into moving traffic'

Mothership4two · 07/09/2019 00:52

Yep @iklboo

No matter how many ppl say it in how many different ways math doesnt understand

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