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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

GCSE results not great ......how do I behave?

170 replies

CharlesRiver · 23/08/2019 01:01

Hi All,

Not sure if this is the best place for this but here goes.

DS’s GCSE results were not great. Mixture of 5’s and 4’s (more 5’s by one). Luckily, he got accepted back into his school (with conditions) to do two of his A level subjects, but has had to change one.

He wouldn’t have been accepted in his other choice of school, so I was really grateful and relieved and so was he. I am absolutely gutted with the results and he’s not so groovy himself. One of the conditions is a retake of one subject - and here’s my dilemma....

How do I behave? Do I go softly softly and let him enjoy the rest of the holiday or do I go gung-ho and ask him to start studying now? Or should watch and see if he takes the initiative?

AIBU for having feelings of embarrassment and feeling like a failure (even though I know he’s got to take some responsibility)?

I cried to a friend earlier today. Is anyone else feeling like me?

OP posts:

Whatsername7 · 23/08/2019 12:40

The old/new comparison is simply to aid understanding of what the numbers mean in comparison to the old letters. This will be phased out as we move forward. Agree that people need to stop converting the new grades into the old ones. They are different.

Flyingnextweek · 23/08/2019 12:48

I'm so old our O level results were published in the local paper - omg the shame.... 😟

BarbariansMum · 23/08/2019 12:52

I will be proud of my DC's grades if they represent their best efforts. If they slack off for two years and scrape through, I wont be hanging out any bunting, more like a raised eyebrow and a "you were lucky, weren't you?". But at 16 I would let them decide when to start studying for a resit, on the understanding that if they dont apply themselves at 6th form they'll be expected to leave and find work.

Hoghgyni · 23/08/2019 12:54

Unfortunately the confusion over conversion is why some students with a string of grade 8s are feeling they have "failed" because they didn't get a grade 9.

Over the last 12 months I have seen my DD's friends with lots of grade 9s struggle to get stellar predicted grades as A levels are different. Some are even planning to resit year 12 as their end of year exam results were so poor. Meanwhile others have blossomed and seen their grades improve from 4s and 5s at GCSE to predicted A grades at A level. Your DC is unlikely to meet the cut if he decides he would like to apply for Oxbridge, but there are so many opportunities which he can grab instead.

Let him enjoy his last couple of weeks of the holidays, but ensure he realises that a free period at college isn't really free and he does need to kickstart his studies for A level.

Thehagonthehill · 23/08/2019 13:22

Admit they weren't great but they are passed,he gets to resit one and he gets to do his A levels.
His school seem to have faith in him,you should too.
Deffinatly let him enjoy the rest of the holidays because he will work hard once he's back at school.

MrsKittyFane1 · 23/08/2019 13:51

Unfortunately the confusion over conversion is why some students with a string of grade 8s are feeling they have "failed" because they didn't get a grade 9.

More so even with 6/7 grades. It's awful.

M3lon · 23/08/2019 13:57

Your DC is unlikely to meet the cut if he decides he would like to apply for Oxbridge, but there are so many opportunities which he can grab instead.

Not sure about that...I got a grade 4 equivalent at GCSE and still got to oxbridge...

TapasForTwo · 23/08/2019 14:05

And how long ago was that M3lon?
Things have moved on a lot since then.

RosalineOxy · 23/08/2019 14:33

whothedaddy

So if a 5 in today's system is an acceptable pass, it's only natural to compare it to what was seen as an acceptable pass in the old system. e.g a C

Thats what I mean though. A 5 as a strong pass isn't a C. And even a standard pass (4) isn't the midpoint of an old C. The point of the system was that you needed a higher grade to be 'acceptable'. (ie. The standard of a C wasn't deemed to be actually high enough to ensure a decent level of education) And they included an extra grade to show the very top. It isn't a direct link.

MrsKittyFane1 I've seen the table, but that was provided to explain them when they were 'new'. It's says A*-G is current... Which it's not. Now, we should be using the current system.

MrsPellegrinoPetrichor But schools have recently taught to the old system and have to consider the standard of knowledge and understanding required to meet the levels. Grade boundaries change each year and schools' data analysis will include progress and attainment 8, which none of the parents to which I was referring seem to mention.

ChicCroissant · 23/08/2019 14:44

As I said on another thread, my DD's sixth form won't let you study a subject at A level unless you get the equivalent of a B at GCSE, which would be a 6 on the chart a PP posted - so that's why the OP was upset, there was a danger that his school wouldn't take him back (and indeed his preferred further study option wouldn't take him with those grades).

It's not a case of not being proud of his results, he probably had to change one of his A levels because it was a subject he got a 4 in. And the starting-to-study straight away was for the retake, I assume, which would be a good idea.

M3lon · 23/08/2019 16:44

tapas fair point...I hadn't realised the total extent of the grade inflation...comething to do with the endless banging on from exam boards that they are keeping it fair regarding previous students...

looks like the new system is centred on '5' while the old one was centred on 'c'....

pinkchampagne1 · 23/08/2019 17:26

I was really happy that my son got a 4 in English, a 5 in DT & engineering and was only 8 marks off a 4 in maths (he fractured his wrist the day before the final week of his GCSEs) even though it means he has to now do a transition year to do the course he wants, he has tried his best. Even if he had got lower grades I wouldn't have cried about it or felt a failure.

The day before his results we heard about a local little boy's body being discovered in a river after a 4 day search. That put things very much in perspective for me. I am proud of my son.

MrsKittyFane1 · 23/08/2019 17:29

Rosaline

Ofqual has made the comparisons clear themselves and say:

'We have designed the grading so that there are comparable points at key grades.
The bottom of a grade 7 is comparable to the bottom of the old grade A, the bottom of a new grade 4 is comparable to the bottom of the old grade C, and the bottom of the new grade 1 is comparable to the bottom of the old grade G.
We have been clear to employers, universities and others that if they previously set entry requirements of at least a grade C, then the equivalent now would be to require at least grade 4.'

Hoghgyni · 23/08/2019 17:38

From the Oxford Admissions pages M3ion: Higher grades at GCSE can help to make your application more competitive, and successful applicants typically have a high proportion of A and A* grades or 7,8 and 9 grades

Yabbers · 23/08/2019 18:42

I passed everything, but not with top grades.
You support him, you are proud of him, and you make damn well sure he knows it.

I get what you are saying, but if his grades fell short of what he was capable of, surely that needs to be addressed? If he does the same in A-levels and doesn’t get the uni course he wants, that is a big deal.

I got mainly As and Bs. My parents were disappointed in my C grade for maths, as was I. But I hadn’t tried and only sat one part of the exam because I thought I had done really badly in it. They had a real go at me, quite rightly. I re-sat it the next year and got an A.

IHaveBrilloHair · 23/08/2019 19:10

Oh, I was capable of more on an intelligence level, but with parents who had that reaction, what kind of support do you think I had at home?

gluteustothemaximus · 24/08/2019 11:27

Love the parents being disappointed in good grades, because they could have been better

Nice.

Kazzyhoward · 24/08/2019 11:48

Sadly, life is a competition. Despite "pass" grades, neither my niece nor nephew got into the college courses they wanted to do, despite both meeting the minimum entry requirements. That was very simply because there were limited places on the courses and the places were given to the ones with the highest GCSE results. The same happens with Unis and workplaces - the "minimum entry requirements" are the lowest requirements - if people have better grades/qualifications, it's highly likely they'll be at the front of the queue. The aim should never be to get a "pass" - it should always be to get the highest grades you're capable of as that opens doors to the next phase of your education/work life.

Mamapop1 · 24/08/2019 19:41

I think the key to consider is how much effort did he put in to get those grades. If he worked hard and that's a genuine reflection of his ability then he needs your positivity (and a reminder that he'll have to work hard for his 6th form study).
If he didn't work hard then since he feels not so great about it as well, use it as a cue to discuss how he has the ability to achieve more if he puts in the work.

Without knowing him, his ability and work ethic we can't really comment on whether you are being unreasonable or not

Xxx

FrameyMcFrame · 08/09/2019 21:00

My DD got a 5 in English literature 2 years ago and has just got a B in the A level... she's off to York University.

Don't worry about it!

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