GCSE results not great ......how do I behave?

[CharlesRiver]

Hi All,

Not sure if this is the best place for this but here goes.

DS’s GCSE results were not great. Mixture of 5’s and 4’s (more 5’s by one). Luckily, he got accepted back into his school (with conditions) to do two of his A level subjects, but has had to change one.

He wouldn’t have been accepted in his other choice of school, so I was really grateful and relieved and so was he. I am absolutely gutted with the results and he’s not so groovy himself. One of the conditions is a retake of one subject - and here’s my dilemma....

How do I behave? Do I go softly softly and let him enjoy the rest of the holiday or do I go gung-ho and ask him to start studying now? Or should watch and see if he takes the initiative?

AIBU for having feelings of embarrassment and feeling like a failure (even though I know he’s got to take some responsibility)?

I cried to a friend earlier today. Is anyone else feeling like me?

Also, I got six C’s in my GCSE’s. I get one A (in food) and a B. I also got two D’s and an E. It may have changed now but five GCSE’s meant I could do A-levels. My GCSE results were the Best But I managed A-levels just fine. I know some subjects are a lot harder than others. I dropped one which I found difficult.

Yes, depends on whether this represents his ability accuratel and how hard he worked. On the face of it they are good results but you might find he struggles at A level and/or gets bored and disillusioned. There’s a reason schools insist on certain grades for sixth form. They obviously want him there which is great, as long as its great for him. Might be worth having a chat about that. Dropping out in year 12 is not fun.

I think he did fine. All this talk of 'not living up to his potential' is bloody awful and the sort of crap that can affect mental health. Nobody ever lives up to their potential, we all make mistakes, we all change our priorities, many of us decide 'potential' is bollocks and aim for safety and security. Give him a hug, congratulate him on passing his exams and organising next year and take him out for a meal.

"Cabezona

Realistically he can't start studying yet as he hasn't got his curriculum so it's a stupid suggestion."
Presumably he can start reading round his subjects, doing some independent work?!

I think a lot of these comments show a misunderstanding of what GCSE grades mean and how they link to further education. Part of the education reforms mean that further education is now a three tiered system, meaning that all pupils can find a course or apprenticeship that to study that is geared towards their ability level.
Level 1 is the lowest tier and pupils who really struggle and achieve grades 1/2 at GCSE will head this way.
Level 2 qualifications are usually BTEC type qualifications or apprenticeships and are aimed at kids who achieve 3's and 4's (depending on the course).
Level 3 qualifications include A-Levels, Apprenticeships and BTEC qualifications but most require grade 5 as a minimum. Some, A-level Maths for example, require a minimum of a grade 6. One pupil who has just left my school needed an 8 in Maths as a minimum to get on to her A Level course. All post 16 providers have different requirements for each course. Grade 4's on not usually enough to do A Levels even though they are a passing grade according to the government information.Level 3 Btec courses tend to require grade 4s but it depends on the qualification.

Pupils potential is worked out and tweaked by schools using testing such as SATs in Yr6 and Midyis and baseline assessments in Year 7. So at age 11, we look at the band the pupil sits in in terms of their ability and project that, based on their performance and ability, they should get a minimum of, say, a grade at 4 gcse. Tbis puts them on a 'flight path' and a grade becomes their expected progress at GCSE. Schools are judged by the government on how many pupils achieve their expected progress. The schools objective is to have ever pupil achieve their expected progress or better. This means that ALL pupils, regardless of ability, count. Whether they should get a 2 or a 9, it doesn't matter, the school.can not ignore the weaker pupils because it will affect their place in the league tables. Every kid is pushed to do their best at their own level.

Sometimes, we have pupils with SEN who work so hard they continually out perform their expected progress. One of my pupils had an EP of a grade 1 and got 8 grade 3's. Brilliant results. It meant he could skip ahead on his further education no longer needing to complete a level 1 course and went straight in at level 2. He has done exceptionally well because his grades are higher than his EP. Equally, there was a pupil who had an EP of a grade 6. He applied to do A Levels and I also pushed him to apply for a Btec as a back up after repeated interventions, because he wasn't putting the work in. He was bright and thought he could pull it out if the bag. He ended up with 4's and 5's. He can't do the A levels he wanted to do. He could do other Alevels that accept his grade 5's, but he needs to resit Maths if he wants to pursue it further. He was gutted and has the Btec course to fall back on.

It is easy to say that the first child would have been over the moon with the second childs 'disappointing' grades. However, they are not comparable because they are two completely different children on different flight paths with different capabilities. The first childs 3's are a huge success for him and us as a school. He is off to college, he has done it abd deserves to feel really proud. The second child (with 'better' grades) needs to learn a lesson and work for his results im future. As a teacher, I now have to account for why none of my strategies worked. In this case, parents were not keen on taking the play station from him or curtailing his social life. His firm belief that he knew better and he'd pull it out of the bag led him to do no revision. Still, he will hopefully do well in his BTEC. There was nothing more I could have done, but Im probably not going to get my pay progression approved as I didn't manage to get him to those 6's.

4 is a standard pass and 5 a strong pass.

That was last year, the feeling this year is anything under a 5 in English and maths will need a resit, all schools will be doing this.

Stop referring back to old grades - the system has changed. Old grades are not really comparable

No one has a misunderstanding to not agree with having a go at a child who sat the exams a couple of months ago, if you have a handy time machine please let me know

You’ve had lots of good advice here, OP. You don’t say whether your DS is very able and underperformed due to lack of work / poor exam performance etc, or whether he worked very hard. Either way he is going to find the jump to A Level a shock but bluntly if the latter applies then it may be that A Levels aren’t the right choice for him post-16.

I think OP is getting a hard time and it’s a very subjective issue.
Of course 4s and 5s are ok if he’s worked hard and for some students it’s a success. But if he’s predicted much higher and hasn’t worked hard or achieved his potential then these would be disappointing grades. We don’t know the student or the full context.
I’ve taught classes where we all rejoiced when/if they got a C. My current class are all predicted 7-9 and that’s what I expected them to get. Context is important and ‘it’s good that he passed’ is too simplistic a response to OP.

You’re both disappointed and that’s fine if had the potential to do better.
Obviously, there’s no point in crying about it now.
He’s managed to stay in and has some A level choices.
He will need to focus on his resit but ask him when does he think he should start studying for it?
Help him to focus on his future and don’t dwell on the past.
He can still have a successful career so what’s the point in being disappointed?

Get a revision timetable in place for the resit and make sure he has all the resources he needs help him to stay motivated.

The exam website for Ed and AQA say you cannot resit under a 3, you can only retake. Retake is not resit.

“That was last year, the feeling this year is anything under a 5 in English and maths will need a resit, all schools will be doing this.”

At dds school they only need to resit if they get under a 4. Dd got a 4 in maths and doesn’t have to resit.

If the results are much lower than his predicated grades and you know for sure it is because he never put the effort in he should have then you tell him you are pleased he is able to continue to his A level course and to see these grades a warning he needs to put more effort in next year when the work will be harder.

If the results are slightly lower than predicated/expected but he had put the effort in then tell him you are really pleased and talk about what you can do to support him to succeed in A Levels.

@Teacher22 my DS is the same too!
When he is interested in something and can see a means to an end he can apply himself and do well.
I'm not sure what grades he will get but I'm confident he will do well in life!

I bet he worked his socks off

Why do you assume this? I doubt much has changed since I was at school 20 years ago, some do kids work their socks off and some just mess around and regret it at exam time.

The OP's response to her DS depends on which category he falls into.

Agree with this. It really is down to one simple question.

How much effort did you put into your grades?

I get your point, OP. He got a bunch of grade C equivalents and only you and he know if he worked hard enough. Presumably he had better predicted grades? I used to teach so I do know those a minefield themselves.
A Levels with grade 5s, if that is a true reflection of his ability, will be hard. No sugar coating that.

DD2 cocked up her first batch of Highers because she was pissing about. I told her how disappointed I was, because she hadn't made the effort and hadn't studied enough. She pulled her socks up and studied like mad and did much better on her second batch and got into the university she wanted. I think how you behave depends on whether you think your DS actually did everything he could to get the best results, or if he was complacent about it all.

When my DS got disappointing results (vs what he could have achieved) i finally realised that school wasn’t for him, took him out and did a combination of homeschool/tutor/local collage. It sort of worked, but the exam years (gcse, a levels) really weren’t his best bit. He didnt go to uni but now has a career with good promotion prospects. Check you’re not trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

OP, so if your son had achieved all As then, you'd be puffing your chest out as if it were your achievement? It really isn't and wouldn't be. It's not any parent's achievement, it's the child's.

You can certainly be disappointed for your child (I would be too) but 'embarrassed'? No. That's really not appropriate and it's not about you.

Don't be the sort of parent that is ready to take the accolades (that rightfully belong to the child) yet shy away from any less desirable outcomes. Not on and you'll certainly reap the 'rewards' of that behaviour later on if you don't rein it in.

I scrolled back to find this post from SockMountain, it's very good:
If he messed about and did little revision I would tell him you are very pleased that he passed everything but that he now needs to up his game and work harder at A level. Tell him that changing a subject and needing a re-sit have used up his joker card and he is lucky to get into the sixth form and needs to rely on hard work now.

If he has been conscientious and worked hard tell him he has fine really well to pass and be supportive of his next steps. Maybe ask if he wants to get a head start by going over his notes for the re-sit subject.

Can everyone please see this is all relative....

Yes it is disappointing to get 4's and 5's if you could get 6's and 7's.

He and the OP were clearly expecting higher results for whatever reason, predicted grades or SATS or previous exams or whatever.

It's great for some kids, not for others.

OP, what I would be most worried is whether he has enough foundation to do A-Levels. I remember very clearly getting an A in GCSE French (in the day the new modular GCSE). In hindsight the 'exam' was way too easy and I was probably at b/c standard in old O level. The gap was huge to A-level and I got an E.

Think carefully (and discuss this with him), as he will need to bring his standards/learning up massively to be able to get good grades in A-Level. He will need to re-learn/ revise much of the GCSE syllabus to keep up - I would suggest he needs to start now or you will end up in 2 years with the same comments on A-Level.

ticking, it's actually not. It's a parent who declares 'embarrassment' rather than 'disappointment'.

There's no need for you to tell other posters how they should perceive and interpret either.

Did he work hard and do his best? Then well done, he passed and will be moving in to A levels as he wanted.
If he didn’t, he knows what he needs to do to achieve better grades in 2 years. No amount of pushing and nagging from you will change that and could have the opposite effect. It will exhaust you too. Good enough to move on is good enough, It’s up to him now.
If he did his very best and you know he did, for goodness’ sake pull yourself together, B is not to be sneered at.

Firstly OP this is not the end of the world not even close. It’s not a bad thing if your son is disappointed in his performance. If he was capable of getting much higher grades but did not engage with his teachers then this is moment of reflection. My advice would be to let him lead. He has managed to make it to the next stage..... does he plan to do things differently.... would he like any support. Lots of Year 12 students have tutors to help make a good start. He now needs to own his decisions. It has to come from him. This however may be the making of him. I’ve seen boys in particular do amazingly well at Alevel and uni after a nasty shock at GCSE that effort is required to reach top grades.

It’s no wonder some kids end up with shattered self-esteem with parents like you!

There's no need for posters to be so aggressive towards the OP! It's true her DS' grades would ( quite rightly) be celebrated by many, but obviously she feels he could have done better - as evidenced by the fact he didn't get into one sixth form he was aiming for and has been given conditions for remaining in the other. OP now needs to work out whether these safe passes were the best her DS could have achieved (ie he worked really hard), in which case he may need to revise his ambitions accordingly, because A levels will be tough for kids who achieved 4s and 5s , or whether he could have done much better with more revision, in which case a degree of disappointment is justifiable. Either way there's something to be learned from these results - either that A levels might not be the right route, or that DS needs to start putting more effort in. OP cried on her friend - not her DS - she can't help her feelings and I'm sure she is doing everything she can to be a supportive and encouraging parent. I have a bright but lazy DS. I am dreading GCSEs because I can see this exact scenario unfolding - I'll be honest, I will be disappointed if this happens. However I also teach some kids who find schoolwork difficult. One of my Year 11s got a 5 when we were looking at a 2/3 in mocks. I am utterly delighted for her and so, so proud. Reactions to grades can't be standard - it depends what the individual concerned was capable of/needed/hoped for/prepared for. One of the kids I teach was one mark off a 9 in maths (not my subject). Yes, an 8 in maths is fabulous, but I'm still disappointed for him and his teacher that it wasn't a 9!