AIBU not to tell my son he was conceived using donor sperm

[user1488038434]

My son was conceived through IUI using my own eggs and donor sperm after my husband was diagnosed with azoospermia. He is now 3 years old. I don’t know anyone with children that are not genetically their own and we have been private about our treatment from the start (with only our parents aware). Does anyone have a similar situation and what did you do? My husband and I fell pregnant quickly and agreed to just focus on being new parents and defer the decision til later.. but I guess later is now here. AIBU to think this is something that just never needs to come up?

My dh and I have 3 dc by sperm donation (11, 11 and 7). We have told them about it from when they were babies. The telling got easier each time we retold it. They have never not known and they each have a little book (written by the Donor conception network) explaining how they came into the world that we used to read through. TBH they are not interested at all. Maybe mention it once every 2 years. It came up at school recently when the oldest two did reproduction and they told the teacher but they have never mentioned it to anyone else. I suggested gpoing to a dcn conference to meet others born the same way but they aren't interested.
I think it would have been very difficult to hide it as questions about where do their eyes come from, hair col,our etc come up all the time as they get older and then you have to choose to actively lie if you want to keep your secret. Conversations will probably get awkward and I can't imagine what a negative feeling it would be for your dc to find out later that you have kept it a secret all this time. Wish you all the best.

This is so interesting. My Dsis had her much longed for DS via sperm donation. They have never told him. He is now 17 and doesn't really look like either of them ( except in height). He is incredibly close to both of them and idolises his father. I, personally, think they should have told him years ago as if he finds out now it may completely throw him.

All I know about the donor is that he was a medical student. Strangely, all these years later DN is very academic and has always wanted to go into medicine - Dsis and Bil in fields not even remotely connected. Isn't that just so interesting that the interest could be passed on/ innate in some way?

You can't keep it a secret.

Just be factual as and when the opportunities arise.