To wonder if some posters realise some people lie on threads?

[jennymanara]

So when people say how much they earn, how much they spend on a holiday, how handsome their DH is, do you realise that some people will not be truthful?
I ask because I see comments all the time about how well-off most MN are. I have been to meet ups, and most MN are pretty ordinary women. Lovely, funny and kind, but not super wealthy with amazing homes and husbands, just ordinary. Of course there will be some women on MN who are very well-off but they are not the norm here.

99% of MN is fantasists, embellishers, goady fuckers and gobshites

I agree

Some people lie, for sure. But some people disbelieve stuff just because it doesn't chime with their own limited experience. For instance the people saying 'so many people supposedly with PhDs on here, ha, how true is that likely to be?' Personally I live in a university town and PhDs are 10 a penny. If someone on here says they have one it doesn't particularly register as unusual to me. (Neither though does it confer much kudos!) . I don't know many people who earn enormous sums of money (see also: academia), but it is hardly a stretch to believe that they exist. Disbelieving someone on principle because they say they have lots of money is a bit odd. Obviously places like Mumsnet will have collections of people quite unlike you. It feels like a very narrow and insular view to say 'they aren't like me or the people I know, therefore they must be lying!'

I agree. It's like I was just saying to my husband Brad Pitt, I don't think everyone here is being themselves.
Right before Jen came round for a burger but that's a whole other thread

Yep, some of whom I know IRL and I find it laughable.

I think I find it hard to imagine that people would make up a load of rubbish on an anonymous forum. I always tell the truth on here, no one knows me, why would I lie?

I've said that wrong I don't find it hard to believe, just hard to understand.

@Jenala
Your post made me laugh as it rang true. I have seen so many 'how much do you spend on the food shop?'' I'm absolutely astounded by some claiming £50 covers a family of 4 too 😂 i honestly think these people buy a topup shop every day or literally eat rice every day 🙄

allsbells nouveau riche with your brand new designer judgy pants. Vintage dahling vintage. You and Penny are just so deprived and common boasting about your 6 figure incomes. That’s peanuts, and less than I pay my servants.

(I’d like to say my shed contained only the same but there’s lots of low value crap crammed in!)

Everything is very subjective!! People will also only ever tell their own side of a story. Quite often when a poster is explaining their situation, I wonder if they are as innocent as they make out. For example “my MIL hates me, but I’ve never done anything wrong.” Ive never met an asshole in RL who knows and admits being an asshole. So why would a stranger on the internet?

I really need to stop taking every post at face value. I assume that people are talking a load of codswallop in real life, so not sure why i take everything as gospel on here.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the threads where people post photos.

I live in a detached London house and spend 94 hours a week volunteering. My BMI is 2 and I do a full Waitrose food shop for £1.19 a week; this feeds two adults, my twins and my thoroughbred horses.

You've forgotten that you'd NEVER eat a Dominoes and your twins have never watched telly, have never used an IPad, won't have a mobile until they are 37 and have NEVER tasted Coca Cola.

And there are so many posters whose 2 year olds will sit for an hour when out for a meal, happily doing stickers and playing eye spy.

Yes, it’s baffling that an anonymous poster should lie to anonymous strangers, but they do.

There was thread a couple of years ago: “How many rooms does your house have?” I always thought I had a big house, but it turns out it’s tiny! The average was about 15 rooms or something.

Another: “How many people have you slept with?” So many said 75 or 87 or something. Apart from being dizzyingly high numbers, how would you remember exactly, rather than approximately, when it’s so many? Do people keep notebooks or something? Notches on the bedpost? Suspect it’s more to do with making it up.

And there was a thread about whether to use Mrs or Ms. It turns out that around 80% of posters had avoided this particular dilemma because they were “Dr.”

Well people with a lot of money often look normal - especially in London.

Some posters are men!

Rumbled


Haha! Caught! 😂

But seriously, I do agree that there are a lot of posters who assume particularly op's are posting objectively and completely honestly.

I'm a cynical bitch and never assume even the sex of posters, let alone that they are posting without any bias.

I'm currently on a thread where the poster has posted as if they're a woman with a male partner - but there are certain comments and opinions they have that are leading me to believe the reverse is true. I think they've lied thinking they would get more support for their opinion but that's not what's happening necessarily.

It's also insulting to be honest, because most of the time the sex of a poster is pretty obvious. Unpopular view maybe but the reality is we live in a sexist society and as a result men and women do tend to use different language and a tendency to have certain opinions on certain topics (not always no, but a lot of the time there are certain topics that tend to align this way)

We all have bias and when people post, especially on certain topics, emotions can get the better of them and they embellish the situation.

The money threads, don't bear out national stats, just plain don't add up (pardon the pun).

And as someone who really IS on a tight budget and "owns" a food hoovering teen I definitely don't buy the claims of "£50 on one weekly shop to feed a family of 4 inc a teen plus dog" it's utter bollocks! Either they're plain lying or they're underestimating their actual expenditure. As confirmed by "eat well for less" many people now, partly due to payment methods I believe (people mostly pay by card now, if they were paying by cash they'd likely be far more aware of their actual expenditure) barely register what the checkout person says when asking for payment. In addition on that show (and in my experience this is borne out by many families I know in real life and at times has included myself though in a less extreme way - not because I'm virtuous but because with such a tight budget I notice pretty quickly if I've overspent by even £20!) people when asked how much they spend on food immediately respond with the rough amount they think they spend on their weekly shop, they neglect to include top up shops, takeaways, takeout coffees etc - those unaccounted for "extras" can easily and quickly add up to more per week than the main weekly shop.

I've even seen posters on here say things like "well, yea, I occasionally do an extra shop/buy lunch at work" etc and not register they haven't included the cost of that in their initial response.

The salary threads crack me up, either posters are lying or they're bloody stupid enough to answer honestly! There was recently a spate of

"How much do you earn?"
"How much do you spend on holidays?"
"If you earn X amount where do you live?" And similar, I actually contacted mnhq as I was concerned these were all posted around the same time and were possibly by the same poster (albeit different usernames) and such information would be bloody useful to a hacker!

"I couldn’t budget £30 a week or whatever on food cos I’m lazy AF but I wouldn’t go on to the budget food threads to say this" I well remember a thread of this kind that the op had posted "pleading poverty" as it were...only for it to turn out they were actually pretty well off and only wanted to make a point about people on lower budgets COULD manage if they just "tried harder" arsehole poster!

Personally I have changed a few minor details to avoid identification in real life, but nothing relevant.

Otherwise if anything I'm MORE honest on here.

I'm able to be more honest about my fucked up brain (mh issues), money worries (don't like to worry my loved ones in real life, or be pitied) and concerns over controversial issues (eg some political stuff) although I am starting to see via sm that family/friends have more similar views to me than I previously thought.

I think taking most posts with a hefty dose of salt while posting carefully oneself is wisest.

I live on a council estate in South London lol I'm single with 4 kids and work part time. Why lie about stuff? It is what it is. Us women can quickly fall in to the keeping up with the Jones mindset, but women I know who have tried to brag about having stuff or exaggerate are all now divorced also...doesn't get us very far.

Surely lying and boasting about advantages you do not really have is a little sad and shaming? It makes you a smaller person. There is no point in telling anything but the truth on an anonymous forum.

If anything, I would not boast about the advantages I have but diffidently keep them under wraps. Boasting is not an English trait.

@Iwantacookie me too!!

Although it is funny that so many people have come on this thread to agree that yes, everyone lies on public forums, but definitely not them!

My dh is quite an ordinary looking bloke.

He has real inner beauty though, and I mean that. Thoroughly nice person.

What a strange opening post.

The only thing I have to boast about is that I was weighed / measured at the Doc yesterday and my BMI is 20.5 so I'm feeling smug today.

Apart from that, I have zero reason to prove myself to anyone internet or RL, and it's sad people feel they have to lie, who cares?? even about my BMI, apart from me 😃

I hate the “I’m 5ft 2in and weigh 8.5st - am I chubby” and someone says “difficult to say without seeing a photo” threads. Totally warped not to mention triggering.