To wonder if some posters realise some people lie on threads?

[jennymanara]

So when people say how much they earn, how much they spend on a holiday, how handsome their DH is, do you realise that some people will not be truthful?
I ask because I see comments all the time about how well-off most MN are. I have been to meet ups, and most MN are pretty ordinary women. Lovely, funny and kind, but not super wealthy with amazing homes and husbands, just ordinary. Of course there will be some women on MN who are very well-off but they are not the norm here.

I think its most posters probably have some good bits and some bad bits going on in their lives, but in different threads, so you don't notice that we mostly add up to 'average' people. For eg, me -
'Good' posts:
Have many qualifications
Size 6/8
Skinny DS that likes vegetables
'Bad' posts:
EU citizen and really scared of Brexit.
Still renting, feel upset as 99% of friends with DC own nice houses.
This summer has been mostly spent in bed with hyperemisis so feel guilty for DS and worried about finishing my dissertation.

There is no such thing as the truth. Everything is subjective. Everyone is swayed by their own personal bias.

One persons wealth is another persons just scraping by.

One persons Brad Pitt is another persons Ricky Gervais

reth again, I think it depends on context. If I start posting on a weight loss thread making references to the fact I’ve never struggled one way or another, along with my smallest size & weight, then regardless of whether it’s true I can see why people might question it. Because if that was the case you’d take it for granted and wouldn’t find it discussion worthy. Whereas stating the same facts on a thread in tack room where it’s relevant to a discussion about the size and type horse’s you ride wouldn’t be suspicious or boasting. Of course there’s loads between those two extremes.

And before anyone accuses me of stealth boasting about weight, I just mean I’m like most people, it fluctuates within healthy, with more spare on occasions than at fit times and I’ve never struggled with being obese. Not that I’m an effortless, or indeed any type of size 6.

One persons Brad Pitt is another persons Ricky Gervais
Give me Gervais any day 😂

Most people don’t have amazing jobs, six figure incomes and size 8 figures. Nobody with a great job is going to be posting all day on MN.

BogglesGoggles
How do you know from meeting someone how much money they have?

I was going to say that.

We have a household income of almost £125k. I walk to work in a scruffy pair of trainers, My OH drives a 10 year old Skoda.
Our house is mid spruce up so our kitchen, bathroom and hall are dated and horrible.
My OH wears the same 2 pairs of old levi's and 6 checked shirts all the time.
We probably come across pretty 'poor'.
We don't have debt we just don't want to waste money on stuff we don't enjoy or need.

I'm assuming that most people don't outright lie, although of course there are some. However many probably only show off their good side and maybe exaggerate the positives and downplay the negatives. . I am constantly amazed how candid some people are with their problems and private lives.
I'm constantly worried about being outed so I'm careful that what I say isn't anymore than I would discuss in real life with semi close friends. I'm aware that lots of people say things they wouldn't dare to in real life hiding behind the keyboard. I say what I really feel but I probably wouldn't express those to people in rl unless they ask for my opinion. Threads are fair game because they are asking for thoughts but I'm conscious that they are real people with real feelings. Some people don't seem to care how hurtful they are. That depresses me.

Before MN I assumed that most people think similarly to me and that I am a fairly fair person with fairly balanced beliefs. It amazes me how there are so many interpretations of a scenario, how emotionally unintelligent many people are and that there are so many dysfunctional families out there.

Some of this must be done for effect but out of the millions of users, most must be some semblance of how people think.

I'm assuming that most people don't outright lie

Of course they do. Have you read some of the bollocks on here?

I sometimes look through the posting history of the executives in the city, the lawyers etc and it's amazing how often they're on Mumsnet during office hours most days.

There are so many fantasists on here who live the 'perfect life'.

“Nah, they're talking bollocks. Half these lawyers/heart surgeons are posting on MN all the live long day, they're bored SAHMs talking shite.”

Well If you’re at home with kids (or by yourself), you’re hardly going to come on an pretend to be a surgeon are you? You wouldn’t know the first thing

If you claim to be someone / something you are not, it would get boring very quickly and what would be the point?

I think most people who stick around on this forum are probably fairly genuine.

Of course people lie on here. You should have seen the Quitlings in the run up to the referendum...

Then if there are that many people lying on here, there are a lot of very sad people in this world. What on earth is the point?
I can't believe that that many people would bother.

Does anyone remember that 'nurse' from a few years ago who used to give loads of medical advice and always came onto any threads about nurses, illness or hospitals with their opinions. They came across as a voice of authority. A thread was then started by a different username about someone who was about to start their nurse training but they had some logistical problems. Halfway through the thread they had a namechange fail. It was the nurse who had clearly lied all along about being a nurse.

This is just one who was called out. I am actually a nurse and can confirm that it really isn't worth pretending to be one! It's not very exciting.

I've been accused of lying...but never when I actually was....

Some threads are 100% lies and bollocks...but they are supposed to be and noone is mistaking them for truth!

I tend to disbelieve any multi-chaptered story which coincidentally follows on from the wholehearted goady support of posters. Especially CF stories.

There was a multi-threaded wedding one recently that springs to mind.

Typical trajectory:

"I bet they... (dramatic follow up)"
OP: "You won't believe what happened next..."
"OMG OP, I knew it! Call them out with dignity and class and composure."
OP: "So I did call them out with dignity and class and composure in my head. Would you believe what happened then (insert update someone predicted). Then someone displayed x extremely unlikely behaviour."
"God, OP, good on you, you MN legend, put this in Classics."

And so on.

One of the other lies I’ve noticed through lurking is when people post about their completely unreasonable behaviour, or an unacceptable opinion, and then suddenly ‘remember’ when they get slammed that there’s some mitigating circumstance or personal experience to back it up.

Eg a load of disablist comments justified by the fact they’ve just remembered their child has sn and doesn’t do that, or their wheelchair using partner agrees that having a buggy is exactly the same and so on.

Or after 4 pages of unanimous yabu they drop in the fact they have anxiety or something else completely unrelated to the behaviour they are trying to excuse with it.

I sometimes look through the posting history of the executives in the city, the lawyers etc and it's amazing how often they're on Mumsnet during office hours most days.

I fall in to this category. Work in the City and MN all the day. I spend a LOT of my time on incredibly boring conference calls and so MN during those, plus on my commute, and I work from home at least one day a week (like today). I used to work for a firm but now work in-house which is far from the “Jessica Pearson from Suits” view some people have

I hardly believe anything I read these days.

I think most posters starting threads especially ones regarding their work colleagues, NDN, MILs and SILs tell fibs and leave out important info to make them look like saints and hard done by.

I’m plump unattractive buy all my clothes in charity shops and primark yet had nearly 500k in by bank account for a few years friends and most family were unaware of my bank account status.

You kept £500K in your bank account? What rate of interest were you getting?

Yeah there’s one at the moment where the OP behaved in a saint like fashion that I’m about

septemberdread yes there’s a few like that atm

The thing about claiming to be a surgeon or high flying exec is that people name change so easy.So you cnat catch them out.If they dont like the answers,they name change and carry on some other charade.

And it’s always twins or being “blue lighted” to hospital.

Yes, there's lots of 'almost died' drama on MN.

I am more honest on here than in real life and have been on Mn for 15 years. I have only very recently started noticing when I think someone is a troll/lying, I think until then I was quite naive and mostly assumed it was all pretty much true

I too find the food budget ones baffling. I just assume they are underestimating what they spend or nowadays lying.

Admittedly we are two obese adults and a teenager so eat a fuck of a lot and we are not on a particularly tight budget but when you include all lunches, top up shops , takeaways (max 2 a month) , we spend more like £200+ a week and we don't drink much alcohol and two of us are vegetarians so hardly any meat is bought either

I use a budget tracking app to record everything I spend and reconcile it against our accounts every week so I have a very accurate picture of our spending. I appreciate we could of course probably cut back a lot but to cut it by £150 a week would be nigh on impossible I think without being very very unhappy and hungry.

Yes, there's lots of 'almost died' drama on MN.

To be fair, many if not most of us have given birth, which is one of the most dangerous things a woman can do. Certainly the only time I’ve needed emergency surgery or a blood transfusion.

Wasn’t twins though!