"Ooooh Graphista!
You just made a shit tonne of sense" thanks, I occasionally have my moments
"And if it was as easy to lose it as you seem to think it is, there wouldn't be a multi- million pound diet industry." Damn straight! From more calorific foods tasting nicer to the deeper psychological issues it's extremely complex!
I lost the first 2 stone with help from WW, I'd tried unsuccessfully to do it solo before that. I learned from going to WW (and I believe from discussions with family/friends and online discussions that other slimming clubs work similarly) that the mistakes I had made when trying to do it myself were:
1 being too strict - banning of certain foods just makes them into "forbidden fruit" that you want even more, it also makes you feel "deprived" of enjoying food. It's also unhealthy to simply cut out large parts of your diet and not replace that food with anything else - psychologically and nutritionally, because actually with the possible exception of hard boiled sweets that are literally water, sugar and flavouring, there are no foods that have zero nutritional content, so if you cut out those foods and don't replace the nutrients you were getting from them your body will drive you to gain those nutrients. Also bigger people need more calories just for basic functioning. WW (like most slimming clubs) is a points based system, on the surface it makes calorie counting easier but it also means those using it are encouraged to eat healthier foods which are lower in points, because the system isn't based purely on calories but allows "free" consumption of foods which are particularly low in calories so members are encouraged to fill up on these foods. But depending on current weight, how many points you are allocated differs and as you move into lower weight ranges you have fewer points to use. Plus of course plain being hungry - low blood sugar, feeling nauseous etc means you might manage initially denying yourself but eventually your body goes "you need to eat" and there's tons of research that shows the hungrier you allow yourself to get, the more likely you are to choose higher calorie foods. It's one reason why it's a bad idea to do the weekly shop on an empty stomach and a terrible idea to do it on a starving one!
2 I learnt that certain foods were far higher in calories than I previously thought, or I was reminded of how high calorie certain foods were. Eg I'd been having peas instead of baked beans thinking they were "better" when calorie wise there's little difference. I'm also veggie and I love nuts and seeds and had forgotten these could be high in fat.
3 how few calories exercise burns. It's actually kinda depressing this one. You really can't outrun a bad diet!
4 I never once in almost 4 years of attending weekly met a member who had no psychological issues with food.
Some had been overweight since childhood and had never been taught how to eat healthily
Some had previous history of eating disorders (they had to get the go ahead to be allowed to join) and has basically gone from one extreme to another
Some had been like me raised in households where food was limited due to finances and when able to buy freely found it difficult to control the desire to not only fill the cupboards, but fill our stomachs for fear of being in that situation again. I've also had times as an adult when I couldn't afford food, not that long ago actually and the thought still panics me.
Some, again like me, were raised with food or the denial of food was used as punishment/reward. Being sent to bed without dinner was considered an acceptable disciplinary tool, as was denial of pudding if we'd been "naughty" But equally if we did something well eg pass a spelling test up to and including passing exams then food was the reward, from a box of chocolates to a celebratory meal out. I had it fairly mildly on that score, some of the stories I heard would definitely fall into definitive neglect or even child abuse. There were also most definitely "monicas" who had parents who could only seemingly express any love towards their child by feeding them, establishing a clear link for that person of food = love.
Some, again like me (do ya sense a theme?😂) had been lucky enough to have a high metabolism when younger and were struggling to adjust to a slower metabolism. Sometimes no known cause/simple ageing, sometimes due to developing a medical condition and/or having to take medication that slows metabolism. So not massively eating more than before but piling on the weight. For me a combination of a seeming family trait, all that side of family very slim - except the women that have children, and it's not the pregnancy directly, we lose the pregnancy weight, usually more than, then about 18 months - year after the birth metabolism seems to suddenly and extremely slow down, we don't know why. I went down to a size 6 within 3 months of having dd, but around a year later started suddenly gaining weight despite not changing my diet. Then within the following few years I also had a mental breakdown and was involved in a car accident which left me disabled. The effects of (losing mobility, lacking motivation and mental energy etc) and medications I ended up on because of this also contributed to weight gain.
But then I had a second breakdown and I am actually someone who doesn't eat when anxious and I lost a lot of weight (3 stone in as many months) because I basically wasn't eating at all. This made those who care for me extremely concerned (understandably) so now the situation is that if I lose weight, seem not to be eating "as usual" my loved ones, even my GP become concerned for my mh. Equally when I eat "well" and even if I gain a little I get "reassuring" comments and their relief is obvious.
There's also those (which a pp I think referred to?) who gain weight either consciously or subconsciously as a response to sexual abuse/assault. I'm also a survivor of CSA, but this is one way it hasn't affected me, but that's more luck than conscious avoidance. I completely understand why some who've been through that would react this way. And of course very few who have generally make it public knowledge, if they even tell anyone at all! I personally was aware of only 2 such disclosures in my time with WW, one purely by accident, the other the person somehow sensed I had a similar experience and disclosed to me. I discussed with the leader at their request in order they get the support with that aspect that they needed, at which point I was surprised at the leaders kind of...lack of reaction? Not because of a lack of sympathy but because she had been a leader over 15 years and so had experienced this before and explained it was actually, sadly, a not uncommon underlying reason for weight gain.
Also people who'd been victims of dv. Sometimes as a "fuck you" to their former abuser who'd been critical of any weight gain, sometimes as a way to feel bigger and therefore "stronger", sometimes of course because of how it had affected their self esteem. Sadly I also believe there may well have been people who were there under pressure from abusers, but of course unless they actually say so, and ask for help there's very little a leader or other members can do.
It's NEVER as simple as "eat less move more" seriously if it were, as linseedill and others have said, the diet industry wouldn't make as much money as it does!