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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband brought a woman into our home

835 replies

girlsgonetame · 19/08/2019 09:37

I posted here recently about a friendship my husband has developed with a colleague. He saved her in his phone under a mans name, lied about seeing her, said it was because I was jealous and he didn't want to have to explain himself. I decided he should give me some space for a few days whilst I worked on my issues with trust and jealousy. He came home at the weekend, assured me there was nothing going on and that he loved me, loved our family, didn't want to ruin that. He told me he would maintain a friendship with this woman as they are doing nothing wrong but that he would be more honest with me about it

Fast forward to today. I am supposed to be at work today but after everything that has happened I couldn't face it so have taken the kids to holiday club with the youngest at DHs parents house and booked myself last minute leave so that I could have a day at home with nothing else planned, get some jobs done, have some time actually to myself without DC or H around

He cycled to work this morning so left really early (starts at 8)
Just before 9 a car pulled up and out they both got. She was walking around my house like she owned the place. Was I unreasonable to hit the roof? He says he'd forgotten something that he needed for a meeting this morning and she had offered to drive him as he'd cycled.

She didn't even say anything she just said "I think I'd better go and wait in the car" 

OP posts:
Itsallgonewoowoo · 19/08/2019 12:21

Oh OP, it's not you, it's him, you need to call time on this now, it's not getting any better.

SirJamesTalbotAndHisSpeculum · 19/08/2019 12:23

There are a few reasons why the OP has not yet returned to the thread.

She could be packing her husband's stuff.

She could be having an almighty row with hi.

She could be absolutely devastated about this.

Giver her a break.

PuffsMummie · 19/08/2019 12:28

They came home for a shag. LTB.

100%. And they've done it before, as she was walking around your home like she had been there before.

simplekindoflife · 19/08/2019 12:29

So dodgy! I'd be so suspicious!

Why was she even in your house? If I was in that situation with a colleague, I'd just wait in the car?! It doesn't add up at all.

Sorry OP. Hope you're doing ok Thanks

Ohmygoodnessreally · 19/08/2019 12:32

I’m so, so sorry. They’re both absolutely awful. My heart goes out to you.

Goodnightjude1 · 19/08/2019 12:34

Tell him to bring her back later....

To help carry his bags.

Wanker.

ImNotYourGranny · 19/08/2019 12:37

He's cheating on you right under your nose and he's already told you he's not going to drop her. So you have 2 choices, accept that your husband has a woman on the side or throw him out.

Millie2017 · 19/08/2019 12:38

I read your previous post OP.
I used to do an exercise class every Monday evening with a friend and then stay at hers afterwards. One Monday I worked late and decided to go home early. I couldn’t get in the house because the door was double locked. There was also someone else’s car on the drive.
I rang the bell and my husband answered with ‘what are you doing home?’. I laughed and said ‘I live here’.
Needless to say there was another woman in the house. They were watching a DVD and eating Shepard’s pie.
There was an overnight bag in my bedroom. Hers.
Photos of me and had been taken down and my washing put away.
It took a while for the penny to drop.
She was a work colleague.
He had been telling lots of lies about where he had been, what he had been spending money on, who he had been out with. He had been saying I was paranoid, jealous, controlling etc. I doubted myself massively.
Anyway, it was the end of the relationship for me. No going back. Despite lots of begging, apologising and no doubt more lies.
Sorry OP. I know how hard it is to feel like you are loosing everything. It will get better though.

PancakeAndKeith · 19/08/2019 12:41

Who wants a shag at 9am on a Monday?

GeekALeak · 19/08/2019 12:46

@PancakeAndKeith

People that have spouses/partners and are finding time to shag others when they can.

thenightsky · 19/08/2019 12:53

Millie2017 That is shocking! Shock

Aliceinwonder87 · 19/08/2019 12:55

So sorry op Flowers

OMGshefoundmeout · 19/08/2019 13:01

Poor OP. She’s had a terrible shock this morning. Her marriage might well be over for good and now people are digging at her on here for not updating us! She has other things on her plate this morning so updating us vipers is obviously not her top priority.

Kplpandd · 19/08/2019 13:07

YANBU It's possible he was just coming home to get something but why did she need to come in????? If I was giving someone a lift home I'd wait in the car...

I've seen your other posts and I personally think the other woman is loving all of this.

PuzzledObserver · 19/08/2019 13:13

Let's be honest, most woman would not go into another woman's home if she was not there, especially with that woman's husband. Its disrespectful, most of us wouldn't like another woman in our house.

Perhaps I'm naive, but I wouldn't have a problem with this so long as there was a valid reason. If wife came in while we were sitting at the kitchen table with the paperwork, I would greet her with a friendly smile and expect husband to introduce me if we hadn't already met.

But then I work in a profession which requires visits to people's homes, and live in job-related accommodation where I sometimes need to host meetings.

I never conceal from DH where I have been or when I am expecting people in our home. I think that's the key thing. I've no reason to hide anything because it is all above board.

OP's situation... just isn't.

Fizzysours · 19/08/2019 13:14

I am really sorry but he is extremely likely to be sleeping with her :(

MancaroniCheese · 19/08/2019 13:15

Woman's name in phone under man's name - classic OW scenario. So sorry OP Flowers

Kplpandd · 19/08/2019 13:18

Although now I'm wondering if he was cheating then why did he come home at the weekend??? He could have just gone off with the OW?

Nabana · 19/08/2019 13:19

Oh boy. Sorry OP. What a scumbag he is :(

whocanbebothered · 19/08/2019 13:23

I think this is the OP's THIRD post about her husbands cheating/suspected cheating and for the THIRD time, a small amount of info is provided and the OP disappears. If you would just update your original thread, everyone would be a lot more "in the loop". People have taken time to offer valuable advice/ask questions to be better equipped to help and you don't provide a single response.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 19/08/2019 13:25

Who wants a shag at 9am on a Monday?

I wouldn't say no, assuming I liked the guy Blush I'm a bit out of the loop TBH. Are there certain times that just aren't acceptable?

granadagirl · 19/08/2019 13:26

Woman with over active mind and board, so she comes on and makes a story up and doesn’t come back.
Nothing to do with being upset, why post in the first place
If you don’t come back for replies

loobyloo1234 · 19/08/2019 13:27

The reason people have commented about the OP's lack of return is she has posted numerous times. Advice given. OP then disappears. So forgive anyone who feels they are wasting their time going over this again

AnyFucker · 19/08/2019 13:27

OMG you obviously haven't read op's several other threads then

Imbananas · 19/08/2019 13:30

Omg that’s awful. Sorry OP 😔💐