Partners ex gf presence is constant

[Crazywheeloflife]

Hi everyone
After a little advice as I am stuck in a minefield of being in a relatively new blended family.

My partner and I have been together for 3yrs, he has 2 children with his ex gf now age 14 and 7. They are amazing kids and as a family we all get on really well including my children aged 15 and 13.
Here is my issue - his ex gf is constantly on the scene. And pretty permanently with my partners mother to the point that my partners parents have taken her and the two children on holiday this week to celebrate their 45th wedding anniversary. Am I the only person in this family that finds this strange? We too have been invited on a separate holiday with my two children which is a lovely gesture I just dont understand why it wasnt a case of me my partner and our 4 children couldnt go on one holiday to celebrate with them.

Help me out guys because I am miffed that his ex gf is constantly in the family picture and is included in everything to the extent that my partners children aren't able to be a part of this celebration with their dad
Please be kind if I am being unreasonable in this, I am just trying to get my head around this x

thanks AE18 you, as always, explained what I was trying to say much more eloquently than I could

Sorry it's not all in the opening post - also yesterday at 19:23

She's 40. She was with her ex husband for 23 years. She's been with her current boyfriend for over 3 years.

So for there to have been a gap between relationships for the OP she'd have to have got together with her ex husband at 12.

well, are they not? I am assuming that they all live together. After all, they are her partners step children and we all know that step children must be worshipped at all times and never excluded... (or is that only applicable when the step parent is a woman I wonder!)

Very good point @JoanMavisIcecreamGirl

People were very offended when I once mentioned that my parents took my daughter on holiday but didn't invite my step son.

I don't think that's that unusual tbh (and you're assuming a gap of like 2 years there which it might of been less)

I know couples who've been together since the 1st year of high school!

Ok everyone, his ex has not lost her home and hasn't been left to hang dry at over 50. He has handed what was their home over to her and is mortgage free which he did for his children. He has his children 2nights per week and the grandparents have them 2nights also. I have my own home which my partner now shares with me.

To the other lady trying to suggest my relationships overlapped. I met my ex in secondary school when I was 13 and we had our first baby when I was 18 (very young I know) but we had a marriage and 3 further children in what was for the most part a very happy marriage. We had an amicable separation because we had got to a stage of feeling like friends. I met my current partner 6mths later. No overlapping at all so please don't assume or insulate that I have anything to be ashamed of.

My partner has a great relationship with his own mum and she has 2 evenings per week with her own grandchildren free from both of their parents while the ex is working night shifts. All children love each others company and the youngest one adores my two teenage boys and is constantly wanting to be with them.

This is really hard - I can completely understand why and how you feel like it's weird, but maybe you're thinking of this ex in the wrong light.

To you, she is your partner's ex GF. To the grandparents though, she is the mother of their grandchildren. A lot potentially depends on how your partner and his ex separated. Maybe his parents fundamentally disagree with the way/reason it happened and they want to ensure that the mother of their grandchildren can enjoy a close family bond. Maybe the ex GF doesn't have family and after so many years and two grandchildren, they actually consider her an equal to their son.

Not all ex-partners are the devil and as a son to parents who don't have a daughter, I fully appreciate the bond my mother has with my stbxw. Given our specific circumstances, it's unlikely they'll remain close, but if for example, I had had an affair etc, I am under no illusion that my mother and stbxw would continue to have a very strong relationship as my mother firmly sees her as the daughter she never had.

Can your partner go on both holidays if it's all pretty amicable?
I probably wouldn't like it as the new girlfriend but it seems the best thing for the kids at this point.