To ask if anyone has ever been the Other Woman...and had it work out?

[Birdtablegreen]

Just that really - have you ever been the OW (or know anyone who has) and you have ended up in a serious, long lasting relationship with him? And did you worry that he would do the same and did he/has he? Name change for this one but would rather not give details as could be outing even so...

@mistermagpie I feel the same
No regret or guilt for many reasons

peach - precisely. My divorce was a long time ago but I learned a lot from the fuck up that we made of that marriage and am a better partner to my now DH because of it. People grow and learn their whole lives and sometimes the mistakes we make (I.e. my first marriage) make us better people, not worse.

As I said originally, I'm not proud of it either but I'm not sorry about cheating, I never have been. I don't feel guilty and don't regret it

I guess that’s where we differ. I could never have respected myself again had I cheated.

I have never been cheated on, or cheated. I have however had “the conversation” and it was quite probably the hardest conversation I’ve ever had. But it was worth it to end my marriage with my self-respect and relationship with my ex-husband in tact.

I was. We were far, far closer emotionally than friends ought to be but at the time it just didn’t seem that way; no sneaking around or lying, nothing physical, neither of us acknowledged feelings for each other but looking back on it now you would likely say it was an emotional affair. I left my partner once I ‘realised’ (don’t know how else to put it), he didn’t leave his for quite some time but he did and we’ve been together well over a decade now, married with a family. Very happy together.

I should add, it was a kiss (but not a passionate one) that made me realise I loved him so technically physical cheating.
My partner was an utter utter bastard and I already knew long ago I’d be ending that. No guilt on that front whatsoever.

Jaques, good for you. Luckily for me, my self respect isn't all that fragile. I also remain friends with my ex DH and he is happily married again, so it all worked out in the end for us.

Oh and by the way, you don't know you have never been cheated on, none of us do.

Worked out fine for my stepmother. She and my dad stayed together for almost 30 years, until he died.

It was us kids who got fucked over by our dad diverting family money to the OW and eventually abandoning us to set up a replacement family with OW and her son.

I was. I was separated after a very traumatic long marriage. He was still married and living in same house as wife, but at her instigation, 10 yrs before i met him, they'd been living separate lives. I did feel guilty, but his marriage had been over for a long time. I struggled initially worrying about "settling" with the first person I met after separating. It was difficult with his ex for a while. It wasn't black and white. But he's wonderful.

"He was still married and living in same house as wife, but at her instigation, 10 yrs before i met him, they'd been living separate lives."

That's really strange. Why did she want to separate and date other people but continue living in the same house for ten years of her life? What a waste of a decade for everyone concerned. I wonder why she wanted that awful arrangement, and why he went along with it?

I have never been an OW but this is my experience of friends whose husbands cheated and left for the OW.

1. Cheated with a (younger) girl at work after 20 years of marriage. Left a month after meeting OW. Wife divorced him then became terminally ill. Many years later he married OW and they are still together.
2. Husband was abusive serial cheater who left a 15 year marriage after 3 months of meeting OW at work leaving 4 kids, the youngest a new baby. Wife divorced him and he quickly married OW. 2 years later he died of cancer leaving all his money to OW.

3.Husband was serial cheater who cheated with someone he worked with. He left a 20 year marriage pretty quickly after meeting this OW again leaving 4 kids, one a new baby. He moved in with OW and they married many years later. He is now deceased.

1. My exH cheated with a girl who worked for him and I divorced him. We were married 8 years. They married 5 years later when she got pregnant. I believe they are still together 25 years later. I have left the area so have no contact with him.

The theme here is that these r/ships seem to be more sucessful when the parties worked together prior to the start of the affair.

I have had several recreational affairs with married men - largely for the thrill and fantastic sex. They of course say sex at home is non existent or dull and i take that with a pinch of salt.

I am not interested in their marriage or anyone leaving anyone - its just a FWB situation.