Inappropriate request at Work - AIBU?

[GameChange123]

A colleague is leaving our team. Received an email from some colleagues about a collection - no problem.

I was surprised that they also asked colleagues in the team to provide a photo "au natural" to create a souvenir calendar for the person leaving. Apparently not showing anything rude but "you can show as much or as little skin as you want as long as we don't actually see anything rude and it's a bit 'cheeky'"

I find this grim on a number of levels and given there are 10+ people in the team there is going to be some pressure for everyone to participate.

I don't think it is appropriate and could really use the hive mind of Mumsnet to give me a steer on what to do/ how to respond to these CFrs.

AIBU?

@LadyofMisrule - do your “hilarious” colleagues realise they left themselves wide open to a discrimination claim? How massively homophobic that could be interpreted as being? Let’s all get naked for the gay guy... good grief.

I can see this sort of thing happening in the armed forces or emergency services, but not as a team thing sent round as an email request as part of the official leaving present - more some horrific pictures of pot bellies and hairy arses with fingers ‘seductively’ in mouths and a “we’ll miss you big boy xoxoxo” message. No women would be expected to participate, apart from maybe in a comically covered up boiler suit or something.

To do this as part of a mixed sex team in a bog standard office is bizarre!!

Userzzzzx
Oh yes let’s report it, it’s politically incorrect. Why not ignore it and if people want to do it so be it. Why try and get people in the shit. Fuck me liberal lefties. Just have the balls to say NO like I would.

If I was leaving and that was my leaving gift, I'd be glad I was going. And would leave it in a bin as I went. Wtaf? YADNBU

No, I believe, is a complete sentence. May be appropriate here.

Your colleagues are BVVU!

If you plan to go on working with them, it might be better not to make a major stink about it, though. Just "You'll have to let me be a conscientious objector about this" would make the point.

For those who think this would have been appropriate in the 1970s - it would actually have been a massive f* off from everyone in any workplace I was in even then!

Send them a close up picture of a cat's bum to really drive home the disapproval this has rightly aroused.

Over my dead body would I ever agree to this, the phrase we always say about our cats when there playing up ‘there giving the middle paw’ give the damn middle paw

Fuck that!!! He’ll no. That’s so grim

@Dyrne I think it depends a lot on relationships and context. They were a close team, and he loved it. I can't imagine this going down as
well if it had come as a random request by email!

I would send a 'reply all' email saying I would absolutely not be taking part and would consider copying and pasting a section from your contract/employee handbook regarding sexual harrasment. Horrendous idea. I'm gobsmacked

Ah, this reminds me of the time when a nearly all-male management team suggested at a quarterly meeting that we should move the xmas party to summer instead. When questioned why....

"because it's hot and all the lasses will be wearing hardly any clothes!" followed by lots of male cheers.

And they were deadly serious, not even remotely jesting.

OP knows her colleagues better than we do, so she can presumably judge whether this is thoughtless, childish silliness on behalf of a minority of team members, or whether the workplace is developing a culture of bullying/harassment (or a culture of 'edginess' which the majority of the team enjoy). Because the best way to respond depends on the actual situation - people being a bit silly can probably be dealt with by means of a firm-but-kind chat; a growing culture of shaming and upsetting those staff who don't fit in needs to either go to HR or OP should be looking for a way out. The size of the company is also relevant, because if it's small and the majority culture is one in which this would be a 'bit of fun' then complaining is going to get OP marked down as humourless and prudish.

I am amazed that someone thinks this is a good idea in this day and age. I have worked through strip o grams in the workplace ( yes full nudes to celebrate a male leaving, and arranged by a woman from middle management! -civil service)
Am really disappointed to see similar pressures are still taking place at work.
Just say “ no thanks”

I would say is this a joke

I think the comments about the 70s are referring to the sexual inappropriateness which would have been common then. The photograph parts would have been technically impossible - take a photo with a camera, send film to chemist's or photographer's (where any nudes would be pulled out), physically cut and paste. The photograph part is totally a product of the age.

The photograph parts would have been technically impossible - take a photo with a camera, send film to chemist's or photographer's (where any nudes would be pulled out), physically cut and paste.

Not if you had a Polaroid camera

Too much drama ...... just say no to them if it’s not your cup of tea... no one needs to lose their jobs... they are have a different sense of humour that’s all

they are have a different sense of humour that’s all

Aye right, OK

True iklboo

I laughed so hard at the 70s comment.

Asking for naked photos on a work email?

WTAF??

Sexual harassment and gross misconduct at my workplace - organisers would be escorted off the premises without hesitation.

With 8by8 on this. Absolutely stupid.

@GameChange123 How did you respond OP?

Why is there even a collection? Why the compulsion to give gifts? "Sorry to see you go...here.....a smelly candle/tat/crappy trinket......"