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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate request at Work - AIBU?

244 replies

GameChange123 · 15/08/2019 17:09

A colleague is leaving our team. Received an email from some colleagues about a collection - no problem.

I was surprised that they also asked colleagues in the team to provide a photo "au natural" to create a souvenir calendar for the person leaving. Apparently not showing anything rude but "you can show as much or as little skin as you want as long as we don't actually see anything rude and it's a bit 'cheeky'"

Shock

I find this grim on a number of levels and given there are 10+ people in the team there is going to be some pressure for everyone to participate.

I don't think it is appropriate and could really use the hive mind of Mumsnet to give me a steer on what to do/ how to respond to these CFrs.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HeyThereDelilah1 · 15/08/2019 18:47

Can’t help but laugh at the idea of receiving a bunch of nude photos of my colleagues upon leaving!

HeyThereDelilah1 · 15/08/2019 18:47

Definitely not being unreasonable for thinking this is bonkers though!

BinkySodPlop · 15/08/2019 18:49

Apart from the wtaf-ery of the request, do you not have a porn-filter on your work email? Everywhere I've worked for the last 20 years has a system which checks images and blocks those over a certain % of skin coloured pixels. Any responders may find their emails blocked and a report sent to their manager and HR anyway.

Redcrayons · 15/08/2019 18:52

Wtf? No chance whatsoever. And I'd chuck it straight in the bin if I received it as well.

Has anyone replied? I bet everybody else is waiting for the first person to say no so they don't seem like the wet blanket. Completely inappropriate in every workplace I've ever been.

TheresWaldo · 15/08/2019 18:53

Tell them to jog right on

simplekindoflife · 15/08/2019 18:56

This is so weird! Confused

I'd reply (to all if possible) saying, "sorry that's waaay out of my comfort zone! You guys crack on but count me out of the naked snaps! Happy to put in for the collection though."

StockTakeFucks · 15/08/2019 18:56

I'd send them an awkward positioned elbow pic and let them try and figure out what it is.

InstantCoffeeSavesTheDay · 15/08/2019 18:56

This is beyond funny actually. I would have loved to have pretended to my ex boss that we had done this. I am not sure what would have horrified him the most,

a) the though of his team scantily dressed (brrrr) or
b) the thought of his entire team sacked for gross misconduct.

I cannot remember ever seeing this on a list of offences (no one would imagine this happening), but I think it would fall under damage to company reputation.

MaybeitsMaybelline · 15/08/2019 18:57

I’d take a picture of myself covered head to toe in a sack.

What on earth are they thinking.

RosaWaiting · 15/08/2019 18:57

This has got to be a practical joke.

InstantCoffeeSavesTheDay · 15/08/2019 18:59

On a serious note, depending on where you work, this could be bad. I would forward the email to my boss, outlining that I not would participate, that I wasn’t in any way offended or feeling harassed, but that I was concerned about potential issues for the company’s reputation. Then I would save that email in a very safe place (including a print out).

31RueCambon · 15/08/2019 19:15

lol at who'd want that! and also, is it peter stringfellow who's leaving.

WeeDangerousSpike · 15/08/2019 19:16

I think I'd reply with something fence sitty like 'Janet, have you lost your mind?! You need to make clear to everyone this is a joke before you get reported to HR and sacked!'

Or actually report to HR if you think it's a symptom of a wider problem.

Bananamint · 15/08/2019 19:17

YANBU.
Definitely not.
No way should this be seen as an acceptable request.

Redred2429 · 15/08/2019 19:21

I would totally ignore the email and see if they were cheeky enough to ask me directly and then tell them all the reasons why it's not appropriate behaviour

itswinetime · 15/08/2019 19:22

It's obviously up to you op but any picture you send clothed or random big toe it gives the impression that you agree this is a humorous request and have found a funny way to reply that you are comfortable with! If that's how you feel go for it! But if you think it's a ridiculous thing to ask and are actually uncomfortable with the request sending a picture however funny it maybe sends the wrong message I think.

AngelasAshes · 15/08/2019 19:22

Lol, they’d get a picture of my cat.

Yesbutnobutmaybe · 15/08/2019 19:23

I’m torn between forwarding the email to HR or replying with a picture of cousin IT

Seemstress · 15/08/2019 19:25

I would photocopy my fat, middle-aged arse on the photocopier and send them that for their fucking weird calendar

viques · 15/08/2019 19:34

Is two fingers showing enough skin?

viques · 15/08/2019 19:38

is it Peter Strigfellow who is leaving

I think Mr S has left the building left the planet........

minou123 · 15/08/2019 19:43

itswinetime I agree with you.

Whilst the alternative nude photos are really funny (Ive been chuckling away). I think if you do send a picture of your foot, elbow etc will kind of send a message that you think the calendar is ok.

IMO, this is highly inappropriate for work. I would send an e'mail along the lines of what WeeDangerousSpike has suggested.

Derbee · 15/08/2019 19:53

Do not send a photo, even as a joke. Do not engage, otherwise you are complicit when someone complains. Ignore, or say no. Don’t send a picture

SimplySteveRedux · 15/08/2019 19:54

Photo of you holding two fingers up.

PasDeGeeGees · 15/08/2019 19:55

Bad idea all round, I'd say.