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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inappropriate request at Work - AIBU?

244 replies

GameChange123 · 15/08/2019 17:09

A colleague is leaving our team. Received an email from some colleagues about a collection - no problem.

I was surprised that they also asked colleagues in the team to provide a photo "au natural" to create a souvenir calendar for the person leaving. Apparently not showing anything rude but "you can show as much or as little skin as you want as long as we don't actually see anything rude and it's a bit 'cheeky'"

Shock

I find this grim on a number of levels and given there are 10+ people in the team there is going to be some pressure for everyone to participate.

I don't think it is appropriate and could really use the hive mind of Mumsnet to give me a steer on what to do/ how to respond to these CFrs.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Mummadeeze · 15/08/2019 20:02

I have to admit, I would have found this absolutely hilarious if I had received it. Probably in a WTF way but I would have liked it as a present. I can’t quite believe someone has suggested it though and I wouldn’t participate.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/08/2019 20:17

I actually used to work in the offices of a porn mag company, and we never did anything like that (and anyone suggesting it would have been told to fuck off).

As to what OP should do, particularly as OP says that the team is young and into 'boundary pushing' - the answer might actually be 'look for another job.' Not sure what industry this is, but if it's a company where senior management like the idea of the company itself being percieved as a bit 'edgy', and therefore people who would like such an idea are being encouraged into the workplace, OP might find the work environment generally getting less comfortable for her.
However, if it's just one or two individuals in the team and several of OP's colleagues are getting equally tired of their antics, it might well be time for a word with HR.
I think my bottom line is: if you're the only person who isn't comfortable in the company culture, better to move on as trying to change it will be futile. If the majority of colleagues are equally unhappy, it's more likely to be something you can change.

MoreCuddlesForMummy · 15/08/2019 20:21

YAB vastly U. I can’t think of anything I would live more as a parting gift from my team at work

PUKEPUKEPUKEPUKEPUKE 🤢

LadyofMisrule · 15/08/2019 20:21

Some of my former colleagues (all straight chaps) did this when a very popular (gay) member of the team was leaving. They were all quite happy to participate, thought it was fun, and did so willingly; he thought it was funny, and was very touched.

Each to their own.

MrsDilligaf · 15/08/2019 20:21

Absolutely no bloody way would I participate in the calendar. If I got wind of the fact that my team were planning on doing such a thing I would be speaking to the sender/s of the email immediately.

I'm far from being a killjoy but this idea is being discussed in a professional setting, making colleagues uncomfortable.

I would also put money on the fact that the production of the calendar will be done during working hours, so again, highly inappropriate.

It's a no from me. Please forward the e-mail to your line manager and to HR.

(I'm fully expecting this thread to end up in the Daily Fail)

summersherewishiwasnt · 15/08/2019 20:38

You mean you have to ask ?

CharityDingle · 15/08/2019 21:00

Fairly standard in most workplaces innit.
or maybe not

It's why repairing office photocopiers is such a lucrative business to be in Wink

Ritascornershop · 15/08/2019 21:04

Are they fucking mad? Jesus, going to have a lie-down and think about why working for a living means selling your soul.

ReanimatedSGB · 15/08/2019 21:16

Thing is, there are social/friendship groups for whom this would be endearing and fun and wholly acceptable. I can just about imagine that there would be workplaces where everyone is of the same mindset and would find it a sweet, funny, enjoyable project.

But OP is horrified by the idea, therefore it is not a team where everyone has the same attitude and there is potential for bullying and distress among staff, so it is Not On.

LemonPrism · 15/08/2019 21:21

Wow. No. I would be raising that with HR.

francienolan · 15/08/2019 21:24

Submit one of the "sexy" photos that George takes in Seinfeld. Like, the actual Seinfeld photos.

makingmammaries · 15/08/2019 21:32

I think dismissal would be the likely outcome for anyone who tried that in my workplace.

transformandriseup · 15/08/2019 21:35

Even in the dockyard where I work, where it gets a bit old school at times, this would be reconised as inappropriate.

CharityDingle · 15/08/2019 21:36

Ah c'mon people, think!

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 15/08/2019 21:38

I work in a school.

So many safeguarding issues here!! Instant dismissal if this was proposed!

BrightYellowDaffodil · 15/08/2019 21:44

See, I like my colleagues but I still don't want to see a snap of Maureen from Procurement winking coquettishly at the camera whilst artfully déshabillé and her norks 'comedically' hidden by some strategically placed purchase orders. Christ on a stick, no.

I'd say that this wasn't hugely my thing but offer to contribute to the general leaving present pot.

BooseysMom · 15/08/2019 21:48

Fucking hell. Do you work in the 1970s?

Thank you for making me laugh until i cried! 🤣

sheshootssheimplores · 15/08/2019 21:56

Why don’t you just get one of these. Job done.

MyWeaponofChoiceisWords · 15/08/2019 21:57

They can have a photo of my manky runner's feet complete with the black toe nail (right big toe) and mangled nail on the left big toe.

SomePig · 15/08/2019 22:16

See, I like my colleagues but I still don't want to see a snap of Maureen from Procurement winking coquettishly at the camera whilst artfully déshabillé and her norks 'comedically' hidden by some strategically placed purchase orders. Christ on a stick, no.

GrinGrinGrin

CharityDingle · 15/08/2019 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

KitKat1985 · 15/08/2019 22:32

Good Lord. Why would anyone think this was appropriate?!

Lougle · 15/08/2019 22:47

Don't tell me, your male colleague is also volunteering to collate the photos to make the calendar? Hmm I can't think why some male colleagues would take the opportunity to suggest that 'everyone' takes cheeky photos and passes them to him...

KatherineJaneway · 15/08/2019 22:53

I'd be forwarwarding the request email to HR

CharityDingle · 15/08/2019 22:54

I give up...

Slow handclap OP, you sucked 'em all in good and proper.

Pro tip, wipe the photocopier before you plonk your arse on it. Grin

Bows out of thread before it gets nominated for classics. Wink
Or what passes for classics on MN nowadays anyway.