Neighbour just gave my husband this:

[cravingmilkshake]

Hi all, my first post in aibu 🤞🏼.

We are proud new parents of a 16 day old baby girl. I am breastfeeding/working it out and think it's going well so far.

Our daughter doesn't cry so much but does occasionally and can get loud - especially if I'm upstairs eg showering and husband has her downstairs.

Anyway, my husband came in today with a leaflet given to him by our 85 year old neighbour... husband thinks he was being kind but aibu to think that this is very passive aggressive?

Thanks in advance- a tired new mum 🤞🏼

Chuck it in the recycling.

Congrats on your baby!

Maybe he was trying to be funny or maybe hes grumpy, either way don't give it too much thought, congrats btw

I expect he thought he was being kind. He probably just saw it and thought of you as new parents. I really wouldn't read too much into it.

Congratulations

Unless you've got previous with them, I'd choose to see it as him having it delivered or seeing it and thinking it could help you in a helpful, neighbourly way, rather than as a criticism.

That is incredibly rude of your neighbour.

If you want to retaliate, I'd suggest posting him leaflets about retirement homes...

I'm very impressed that an 85 year old has heard of baby sleep consultation!

But of an odd old fella... He might be passive aggressive altho maybe one of his family members uses her or something. Odd tho.... Congratulations 🎊

Congratulations OP .

Um, could be either really - what's the neighbour like generally? But in short, babies cry, even if you're as attentive as can be. They can't recite Shakespeare - if they are trying to communicate a need to you, it'll likely be by crying for the first few months at least*. So don't worry about that.

*And very soon you'll have a two year old who, like mine, may choose to express herself through the medium of throwing bananas and offering silent tantrums on the floor at Tesco.

He probably saw it somewhere and picked it up thinking you might find it useful. My DM would do something like that not even thinking it might be misconstrued.

I reckon he saw it and thought of you! I think he was being kind, and I usually think the worst in people

I don't know without knowing your neighbour better.
Personally I never commented on next doors babies as it seemed a bit rude and are they supposed to gaff a tape them or something. I just used to use ear plugs for their first who cried a lot.

I think it all depends on the manner in which it was given. It seems fairly specific, so I wonder if the practitioner is a family member or friend?

Try not to worry about it either way though (easier said than done I know!)

I think maybe he was being kind? Trying to understand.

Passive aggressive bullshit from your neighbour.

My bets on him being kind.
My neighbour gave me some colic bottles when I had my son last summer. He knew I was struggling but was always so amazed as he couldn't hear a thing. He was just being kind :)
Congratulations!

I'm sure he just thought it may be helpful.

Unless there's a past to think different don't go down the negative route. It just causes unnecessary horrid feelings and negativity. What a waste of energy.

It could be passive aggressive but it could be that she came across this somewhere accidentally or she’s related to this person. I think at her age a new baby next door is a big event so she could even mention it to her friends and relatives and they gave her this. I also noticed that some older people think that they must advice something to a new mum every time they see her. Tbh I would thank her if she asks but that’s it.
Congratulations with your baby girl!

No, honestly, I think it's just a leaflet she's picked up at the GP surgery or whatever and thought "ooh cravingmilkshake might find that useful" and popped it in her bag for you.
I do get where you're coming from though. I remember struggling to breastfeed DS and my friend came over with some lactation biscuits she made. I remember being really pissed off with her for thinking I was failing at breastfeeding. She was only trying to help, I can see that now .
Congratulations on your new baby.

As your baby is only 16 days old I doubt he's fed up with the crying already. He probably saw it and thought he was being helpful.

Your daughter is 16 days old, she can't possibly have cried enough for any reasonable neighbour to think you need help with getting her to sleep.

I think he's probably just seen it and was being kind in a just in case way, do the neighbours have DC? maybe its something they wish was around when theirs were small?

Sorry should be he not she, just noticed that your neighbour’s male

I think it's sweet and thoughtful

Just noticed your neighbour is male, I've called him "she". My response is the same though.

Just being kind I think. Maybe even their family member who is the sleep consultant?

I would recepricate with a dignatas leaflet