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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour just gave my husband this:

132 replies

cravingmilkshake · 14/08/2019 21:39

Hi all, my first post in aibu 🤞🏼.

We are proud new parents of a 16 day old baby girl. I am breastfeeding/working it out and think it's going well so far.

Our daughter doesn't cry so much but does occasionally and can get loud - especially if I'm upstairs eg showering and husband has her downstairs.

Anyway, my husband came in today with a leaflet given to him by our 85 year old neighbour... husband thinks he was being kind but aibu to think that this is very passive aggressive?

Thanks in advance- a tired new mum 🤞🏼

Neighbour just gave my husband this:
OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 14/08/2019 22:41

*he

edwinbear · 14/08/2019 22:41

I vote kind too. He’s remembering being a new parent himself and trying to be helpful, it’s really quite sweet he’s seen it out and about and thought of you.

NoSauce · 14/08/2019 22:43

I would recepricate with a dignatas leaflet

It’s hard to say if that comment was meant as a joke. As it appears, I would say it’s not.

sarahjaneg · 14/08/2019 22:43

I work with the elderly and have 4 children- the list of never ending books/ leaflets and bizzare gifts is crazy. I think he probably thought he was helping x

TheFairyCaravan · 14/08/2019 22:44

I would recepricate with a dignatas leaflet

That's a disgusting thing to say. And it's not a joke because jokes tend to be funny.

You're overthinking this OP

covetingthepreciousthings · 14/08/2019 22:46

I would also assume he was just trying to be kind, also would think it's possibly one of his relatives who runs the business as seems a random leaflet to have hold of.

Either way, congratulations on your new born.

Rachelover40 · 14/08/2019 22:49

I think your neighbour was being thoughtful.

untoldstories · 14/08/2019 22:50

It's a little odd but I think he was just trying to be kind.
I'm sure it's something you'll look back on and laugh at one day

Why is it odd, he was being thoughtful, why can't elderly neighbours be thoughtful without being called odd?
Why will you look back on it and laugh, why not look back and think how kind he was.

Letsnotusemyname · 14/08/2019 22:55

Just say thanks and put it down to planet 85.

It’s easy to forget what one’s own babies were like 60 or so years ago.

If my Mum lived next door to you she’d offer all sorts of snippets of ‘help’. Whether asked for or not.

Original poster
cravingmilkshake · 14/08/2019 22:56

@petbear not us! We are down south x

OP posts:
ArgumentativeAardvaark · 14/08/2019 22:57

Probably being kind. Most people that age are a bit deaf anyway. Wink

Chocmallows · 14/08/2019 23:00

I think kind too. Recycle leaflet and enjoy your baby.

tolerable · 14/08/2019 23:01

aw..how thoughtful. (eyeroll)take wee oneround,everybody loves a baby

Bignicetree · 14/08/2019 23:10

Kind

Therarestone · 14/08/2019 23:11

Such a shame someone trying to help a new parent gets talked about this way online :(

Masketti · 14/08/2019 23:15

Actually sleep specialists can work with 16 day old babies. Well their parents obviously. It's about getting into good sleep habits but most of that is Googleable for free so there's no point paying for it until you have a genuine 'problem' after the 4 month sleep regression and baby still won't sleep. Before then it's all the classic stuff like bedtime routine but just wing it till 5 months with a bit of Google free help thrown in for good measure!

DoIjusthavetoputupwithit · 14/08/2019 23:24

I bet he picked it up in the doctors waiting room or chemist.
I bet he's trying to be helpful and kind!

Blinkingblimey · 14/08/2019 23:24

I’d say that’s a lot better than my neighbour who used to bang on the wall if she felt it had gone on enough....and I’d patiently listened to all four of her babies wail and her home births. This leaflet is about as passive as you can get - smile, say thanks, ignore.

DoIjusthavetoputupwithit · 14/08/2019 23:26

I would recepricate with a dignatas leaflet

WTF? Was that meant to be funny?

seven201 · 14/08/2019 23:33

My neighbour three doors down didn't congratulate us on our dd, just told us she was very screamy most of the time. I had already noticed that myself!

QueefLatifah · 14/08/2019 23:34

Sense of humour failure very evident on this thread 🤣

Waveysnail · 14/08/2019 23:40

Perhaps a relative is the sleep consultant and gave him a leaflet

VenusTiger · 14/08/2019 23:43

Aw, I think he’s seen it in the drs surgery or chemist and picked it up for you - must have been a very long time since he’s heard a crying baby so won’t know what advice to give, so has given you a leaflet instead.

I would definitely take it as a gift. But there you have it.

RockinHippy · 14/08/2019 23:47

If he's had kids himself, or known babies well in the past, then he'll know that they often cry more & sleep less at a bit older than 16 days. Colic & teething for a start, so it might contain some very useful information.

If he's not usually grumpy/a complainer, my guess is that he's trying to be kind

Lumene · 14/08/2019 23:48

Assume kind and think no more about it. Your husband was the one who spoke to him.

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