Neighbour just gave my husband this:

[cravingmilkshake]

Hi all, my first post in aibu 🤞🏼.

We are proud new parents of a 16 day old baby girl. I am breastfeeding/working it out and think it's going well so far.

Our daughter doesn't cry so much but does occasionally and can get loud - especially if I'm upstairs eg showering and husband has her downstairs.

Anyway, my husband came in today with a leaflet given to him by our 85 year old neighbour... husband thinks he was being kind but aibu to think that this is very passive aggressive?

Thanks in advance- a tired new mum 🤞🏼

Yeah couple of grim comments on here, from telling him to stick it up his arse to the dignity's comment, you've got to wonder how some people get through the day.

Maybe he has a good sense of humour and was cracking a joke. Or he’s hearing baby through the night and a family member her told has given him that to post to give you a hint. Either way, not worth worrying about.
Congratulations!
You will laugh about it in a few years.

Dignitas leaflet made me laugh

He's 85, he's a man, he couldn't think passive aggressive if he tried. Think about it. You are thinking far too much into this. He probably saw it somewhere and thought it might come in useful to the couple with the new born. Really, he was just being kind. Honestly, he really was being thoughtful so take it as that and be nice to him he is trying his best.

I would think he was trying to be kind or wanting to drum up business for his daughter/granddaughter. You know him better than any of us though so if he's usually a passive aggressive twat then it's probably a dig

My grandparents used to cut out articles or gsther pamphlets they thought might be interesting or useful for people. I wouldn't take it as rude at all.

The very idea that a sleep consultant would work on a 15 day old baby is nuts!

Maybe that's obvious to you, maybe he though it would be helpful in a few months maybe maybe maybe.
Why judge, if the OP doesn't want it then she's free to bin it.

I just think it's plain odd!

No idea what he meant. I would guess it wasn’t malicious though.

Thoughtful. An elder person wants to help out new parents.

Kill the interfering old fucker with fire!!!

When I read this message for some reason it made me wonder why as a society we are suspicious of everyone's actions. I would like to assume he thought he was being helpful. I think it's a better outlook to have.

I am also one who thinks he was trying to be helpful - maybe Emily nurse is his daughter! You said your daughter cries when she is with your husband while you are having a shower - unless you are showering at 2am in the morning - I'm guessing you are showering at a normal time so I don't think he is complaining about this ie thinking you were trying to get her to sleep. Besides at 85 his hearing is likely to not be as good as someone a lot younger.

Will PM you where I am @cravingmilkshake

He's 85, I'm sure he's just trying to be kind. Or at least trying to promote his nieces/daughter/granddaughter las business

Oh I think he meant it in a kind way. Enjoy your new baby, and congrats.

@Caxx I would respond with a Dignitas leaflet.

Would you really? Kinell.9

Can't get PM to send dammit.

I'm in the west midlands... @cravingmilkshake

I'm very impressed that an 85 year old has heard of baby sleep consultation

I'd be impressed if an 85 year olds hearing was good enough to hear a baby's cry through the walls! My Nan is as deaf as a post!

I think they probably saw the leaflet somewhere and thought that it would be helpful for you.

So many people actively looking to be offended. How sad. The Dignitas comment was fucking nasty.

He's most likely trying to help. Your baby may have reminded him of when his own children were born. An 85 year old probably doesn't sleep well, so he may well hear your baby waking for a feed.

I think the Digntas comment by @Caxx was a joke!

The irony of people saying some people are looking to be offended!!!

Honestly OP, I think he was trying to make a kind gesture. Get your DH to send a little thank you note - then even if it was passive aggressive you both look golden 😇

It's a little odd but I think he was just trying to be kind.

I'm sure it's something you'll look back on and laugh at one day

Thoughtful. An elder person wants to help out new parents

Kill the interfering old fucker with fire!!!

Yes, because according to MN, not only is her rude because 'age', but he must also be a racist bigot with out of date opinions who has no idea of the world today 🙄.

But no, send the useless old passive aggressive bastard to dignitas.

I swear to god, ageism is the worst of the 'isms' on mumsnet.

I think people forget its going to be them one day.

They are lovely neighbours but we obviously haven't been in the position we are in... I'm not typically offended- although as I said if it were given to me I would have cried I think due to lack of sleep! I just thought it was a bit of a cf move.

But thanks for your responses - I'll say thanks for the leaflet when I see them next.

I think the Digntas comment by @Caxx was a joke!

Wasn't funny though, was it?!