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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moved in with partner..he got fired and expects me to pay the bills...Aibu?

189 replies

Beachball32 · 14/08/2019 17:25

Hi all, I have no one that I can really talk to and needed some advice...

I moved into my partners rented flat about 3 months ago. We’ve been together about a year and he’s had a few jobs. He hates working and has lots of sick days and has an entitled attitude at work. He got fired last week because he threatened his colleagues (who he says were lazy and it was getting to him).
Hes now decided he wants to do a course and the job centre have agreed to put him on it but it doesn’t start for a few weeks and there’s no guarantee of a job at the end of it. He’s also now thinking about doing another course afterwards so he can get a better job.
I work full time and have started to do overtime. I’ve got health problems and waiting for a hysterectomy but I’ve got no choice- my partner has no money to pay bills or buy food so I’ve had to step up and make more money. What’s getting me down is he stills go to the pub every week with his friends spending money? He went out Saturday night- I was a bit upset because I have a lot of pain. He knows this but still goes out....AIBU? I’m ill today and he’s just declared he’s going out to watch the footie with his mates and have some drinks....he’s 38, never had a long term girlfriend as he was happy on his own. Day to day he’s doing all the housework and cooking dinner for me but I’m worried I’m being used - what do you all think? He doesn’t get hammered but I’m getting fed up of the pub nights...he’s a gambler and smokes weed a lot too so his moods tend to be up and down....I’m considering leaving him as I have a house that I was going to rent out...It seems as though he expects me to support him and work my ass off to pay the bills....

OP posts:
ConorMcGregorsChin · 14/08/2019 20:12

Dear God. Why are you with him?
Fairly unanimous decision on here.

Tistheseason17 · 14/08/2019 20:13

Where's OP.....?

i concur with those saying LTB.

icelollycraving · 14/08/2019 20:13

I’d leave whilst he was at the pub tbh.
Live by yourself. It’ll be a relief.
I cannot imagine why you’d stay.

Chitarra · 14/08/2019 20:15

Are you really paying for his beer, weed and gambling? If not, how is he financing them?

Soubriquet · 14/08/2019 20:15

I HAVE supported my dh through job loss

Difference was, he tried everything to get another job as quick as he could, and he also sold quite a few bits of his own stuff to try and make up for me having to support him

Run OP

Run as fast as you can

Italiangreyhound · 14/08/2019 20:17

He's lazy, entitled, aggressive and a sponger. I can't see what is in this for you. Please leave and make a better life elsewhere.

I hope your health improves and you meet someone nice and worthy of you. Thanks

BoronationStreet · 14/08/2019 20:19

This can't be real. It's so obvious what the OP needs to do that it's hard to imagine a person being this clueless.

Dump him and run like the wind.

happinessischocolate · 14/08/2019 20:23

Leave

And just be grateful you moved in with him, and not him with you, because I bet he would have been hard to get rid of.

He thinks he's got it sussed

areyoubeingserviced · 14/08/2019 20:24

Just pack your bags and leave
He’s a lazy asshole and will continue to be lazy if you move in with him

Bookworm4 · 14/08/2019 20:24

Must be the day for cocklodger posts 🙄🙄

Justaboy · 14/08/2019 20:26

Whatever was it you saw in him can you say?.

londonrach · 14/08/2019 20:30

Return to your home. Forget him

transformandriseup · 14/08/2019 20:30

Good grief are there any positives to this man?

RB68 · 14/08/2019 20:34

Sounds like he needs to sort his priorities he has money for drinks and weed but not for bills.... I would move out pdq

howdyalikemenow · 14/08/2019 20:36
Confused
Mummyoflittledragon · 14/08/2019 20:40

Wow he saw you coming.

What do you see in him? Does he have an amazing cock?

Heartburn888 · 14/08/2019 20:41

He’s taking the piss out of you and treating you like your his mum. Letting you pay all the bills and run the house whilst he swans off with his mates. He’s 38 and needs to get his head around working. You need to tell him you can’t support you both and he NEEDS to get a job.

Is there anywhere else you can go? If you left he would be fucked basically but with that being said is he getting his housing paid for with you living there?

I’d consider leaving because it will only make you ill.

Heartburn888 · 14/08/2019 20:42

Wow can’t believe some people are asking about his cock. This site is unbelievable at times

FireBloodAndIce · 14/08/2019 20:46

Heartburn888 i thought that was a mention tk the old crap romance cliche of magical cock that has the women so swoon they accept anything also known as magical healing cock in fanfiction.

Poochandmutt · 14/08/2019 20:46

Leave him ..quick .your being used

millimollimandi · 14/08/2019 20:50

Leave

perfectstorm · 14/08/2019 20:57

This occurred to me - If it were the other way around and it was a woman who was not working, but doing the housework, etc, would we be viewing this differently?

No. A man who moved in with a woman who hated working, got fired because she threatened her colleagues, expected her unwell partner to do overtime so she could do a course and then went rollicking down to the pub regularly leaving her ill, overworked partner at home would find that partner eaten alive on MN. And rightly so.

OP this is exploitative and horrible. He made threats to his colleagues and he's expecting you, unwell, to work longer hours to support him, while he blows that money at the pub?

You are worth more than this. Everyone is. He's absolutely using you.

OhBigHairyBollocks · 14/08/2019 20:59

Move out ASAP.

It takes a serious amount of work to fire someone. There will be far more to this story!

perfectstorm · 14/08/2019 20:59

Sorry, should be that woman eaten alive on MN

Chickoletta · 14/08/2019 21:14

Leave without a backward glance.