To have screamed down the phone at wrong information?

[SnotBlower]

Last week I told my mother that DDog had worms. She spoke with her “know it all but knows incorrectly” husband and then rang me back telling me “Barry was saying, you need to get the queen out”. I said “what?” And she said “the queen worm, Barry was saying that there is always a queen and it’s a long white worm and until you get that one, you’ll never get rid of the babies”. Now ... I’m used to Barry’s bullshit ridiculous advice and I’m also used to my mum blindly believing everything he says and refusing the accept that he’s wrong, so to avoid the argument I just said “ok”.

A couple of days later she asked “did you manage to get the queen yet?”. Now ... catching me on a bad day I snapped “it doesn’t work like that with worms! There is no queen or worker worms or bloody soldier worms ... they’re all the same!” So she, as predicted said “no! Barry used to have a dog so he knows what he’s on about!! You need to get the queen worm out otherwise it’s no good, you’ll never be rid of them”. So I changed the subjected.

This morning she rang up and said “hows the worms?” So I said “good, all gone now” so she said “oh good! You must have got the queen then! Barry was saying it’s called the Tate worm or something ... “

So at this point I lost it and screamed down the phone. She started shouting “what’s wrong?!” Thinking I was being attacked and now she’s in a huff because I “worried her”.

This drives me mad, Barry comes out with the most ridiculous shit and she instantly decides he must be spot on and argues everyone else down - in turn making herself look as daft as him!!! It’s gone on for over 20 years and I’ve always tried to be polite and humour them but fuck it! AIBU to not go along with this shit anymore? He needs to be told!!

Daily Fail could have a Barry problem page!!

That would be hilarious, or a weekly phone in on local radio. “Just ask Barry”

I completely understand the screaming thing - after many years it can sometimes just push you over the edge. I think it's hard to understand the relentless nature of it until you've been there.
It'll never change so it's better to try to deal with it more positively like laughing at it but there will be days when it's just too bloody much, I tend to end those calls very quickly.
My brother knows everything (he doesn't) however since he's been relationship counselling - he now shares the wisdom of his counsellor too(who is also right about everything) which is somehow even more irritating, I haven't yet screamed at him but I have hung up the phone mid sentence.

Classic Jackie, she thinks climate change was invented by ‘the nanny state’, namely Tony Blair, to keep us all under the thumb and stop us from enjoying ourselves. They’re trying to keep us voters in our place, stopping us from having straws!

She does that Daily Mail thing of saying ‘research shows’ or ‘sources say’, when actually it turns out to have been her next door neighbour, or her daughter’s boyfriend. She presents things as unassailable fact when it’s actually just yet another idiot’s opinion.

We had a heated debate a few years ago when there were pictures of Syrian refugees on the front pages, with small babies in their arms. I went with what I thought was a natural response, that it was horrific, can’t imagine what they’re going through, heartbreaking etc etc. Jackie says no. Got no sympathy for them, they should have kept their legs closed, or gone on the pill or had an abortion. It’s their own stupid fault, they knew there was a war coming. So ensued an argument about how she had no concept of complete breakdowns in society, they can’t get the pill even if they wanted to because there’s no clinics, no roads, everything is under siege and what part of that does she not understand? Then I remembered her telling us all before about how her mum was born during the blitz, one of 8-9 children born during the war. This was told in a tone of how her grandparents were at it like rabbits and clearly didn’t care there was a war going on. The GM and all the kids were evacuated together because the grandmother was sick. The grandad didn’t go to war because he had some health problem. So there you have it, a family of refugees who had many children (even for the time), and had to flee war. I pointed this out and I was somehow a mean and spiteful cow for bringing up her dear old mum and accusing her grandmother of being a slag??? Errrr no Jackie, I was pointing out your hypocrisy - but take it how you will you idiot!

Oh, and she thinks Nigel Farage is “dashing”! Vom

Ask for his advice on how to stop dog crotch sniffing! I'm sure that he will have a brilliant answer for that!

👀🍿

Tl;dr

So, did you get the queen worm out?

I'm so sorry - couldn't resist.....

I'm imagining Barry to be like that Barry-bloke on the Cillit Bang adverts - rather hyperactive and loud, dashing in with his opinion on everything whenever there may be an opinion vacuum.

Maybe we could use him in the adverts for 'Ask Barry'?

@inmyvestandpants

Am crying with laughter!!

I imagine Barry sitting in his armchair, wearing an old cardigan, reading his DM.

My gran was hounded by cold callers until she got fed up and blew a whistle down the phone to the girl. It was always the same girl.

File girlfriend is a Barry. She knows everything. And is always right.

We’ve just had baby no2. And she knows everything about babies. Despite never having them herself. We should be leaving Dd to cry apparently as she’ll self settle. at 2 weeks old with wind.

You also don’t need to wind babies younger than 2 months. And we absolutely shouldn’t be picking Dd up all the time. She’ll turn out to be a spoiled brat.

She’s told me that I’m wrong that I only get 26 weeks mat leave. I should be entitled to at least a year. (I’m not. We’re not mainland U.K. so our laws here are different. 26 weeks is the statutory legal amount my employer has to give). She’s provided uk based evidence to prove this.

Her and Fil have just got a puppy. A jumpy excitable pure bred jack Russell it’s a cross jack Russell Staffie it’s fairly obvious which jumps up at ds (2) and frightens him. The best way to combat this is for me not to move ds out of the way. Or to try and encourage him to be around puppy when it’s calm - I plopped ds on my lap last time we were there and sat and stroked the puppy. Ds was fine with it then. The best way is to give puppy a treat every time it jumps up. That way when ds is older we can let him give puppy treats. And they’ll be friends.

Needless to say we’re ignoring all of her “advice”

She’s also given me advice on my posture when I’m riding and jumping (this does need work admittedly - but I’ll take advice from my instructor who has over 35 years experience...). Gf has seen equestrian events on the Olympics so is the expert.

The card!! 😂😂😂

Have you started the twitter page yet?

Even Philip sounds like he spends his spare time on Trip Advisor.

I love Even Phillip 😍

Oh God, I used to work with a Barry/Jackie. She was the majority shareholder’s wife and used to accounts on a day to day basis with off-site help from a self-employed Accountant. She was an oracle of mis-information and the most defensive person I have ever met in my life. Every hair-brained idea would be backed up with either “that’s how we did things at the council” or an anecdote about how everyone at the council had thought she was some sort of accounts goddess.

Her husband was nice but just couldn’t see it. We only got rid of her after the Accountant refused to work with her anymore.

Anyway, some time later I was talking to her and she mentioned doing work experience in the accounts department at the local council whilst at school (she was early/mid 50s). It was then I realised that this was the entirety of her ‘accounts’ experience. I asked her, just to be sure, and was told proudly that yes, it was, and that she was so good at it they’d bought her a tin of biscuits at the end of the 2 weeks...

Seems to me there are basically three ways to play this kind of person:

1. Nod, smile and change the subject. Advantages: keeps the peace, at least until the urge to strangle them becomes too strong to suppress. Disadvantages: does nothing to save the rest of humanity from their drivel

2. Play it for laughs. Advantages: gives loads of material for your own amusement and optionally sharing with friends (and random strangers on the internet). Disadvantages: does nothing to save the rest of their humanity from their drivel, and is actually kinda of mean IMO.

3. Challenge it - ask them where they got the information, then tell them you’ve looked it up in XYZ authoritative source which disagrees with theirs. Or when the gems are coming via a subservient third party like OP’s mum, respond to every “Barry says...” with “ and what do you think about that?”. Advantages: it may, just may, bring about a glimmer of recognition that they are way overstepping their competence with their constant unsolicited inaccurate advice-giving, or alert the gobetween to the fact they are passing on a load of rubbish. Disadvantages: if it doesn’t go well you risk upsetting and alienating them - but depending on who it is, that may actually be an advantage because then they will leave you alone.

In practice, challenging it is hard, so most of us don’t bother. I confess I mostly go for option 1). I have been known to dabble in 2) for a while, but then I start to feel a bit ashamed of myself.

Ugh I have been reminded of a cab firm I once used.
It was signwritten EXACTLY thus:

Barrie's Taxis.

Even drunk, I recall clarifying that the firm was indeed run by a Barry and then being alcoholically offended by the weird pluralising-apostrophe-mess.

Barry sounds hilarious 😂

OMG, Even Phillip

@pandarific Bees can smell babies? Was there any expansion on why this is a bad thing? Is she concerned the baby might get pollinated? 🐝

This should be turned into a feature film. Maybe a Rom com. 'When Jacqui met Barry'! OP, you could do the screaming part though.

Seems to me there are basically three ways to play this kind of person:

Yes, I’m for option 3, mortal combat

I think what gets to me so much about Jackie, how she needles me so badly, is that my mum is a textbook narc - so I have done a lot of grey rock-ing. My mum also has no true thoughts or opinions either, which I think is why she listens to Jackie. I won’t engage with my mum’s (usually) endless critique, but Jackie gets me totally incensed! Maybe poor old obtuse twat Jackie is just a proxy for my mum and has replaced her as someone for me to get in a rage about? Ffs this is getting deep 😂

Aaaw my dad is a very occasional Barry.

We were visiting a family friend who had cataracts, dad in his as yet unheard of Barry-role cautioned us all not to touch our own eyes, as if cataracts are contagious.

Also telling me I'd not be conscious for a csection - I will, Barry-dad, as things have moved on a little in the last 35 years.

Please can we have an Ask Barry Anything thread?!

My MIL is a bit like this.
She once told us a story of how she had a dog that could tell when the traffic lights had changed when she was in the car with him. When they stopped at a red light he would bark when it turned to green 😂
This has become a big family joke and whenever we are out in the car, we always say "woof" when the lights change.
We usually just smile and nod when she comes out with such nonsense.

My mother also has a weird friend who is always right about everything. Creepy Carol thinks that there is one answer to all things child-related. You must never allow them to win at board games. That's the sum total of her experience and wisdom.
Creepy Carol has 5 adult children and they are all dysfunctional, idle, scrounging twats. So I think I can be excused if I ignore everything that Creepy Carol says from now on. Thankfully my mother no longer speaks to me, so I don't have to listen to the litany of situations where Not Letting Them Win At Board Games is the answer to all problems both known and as yet undiscovered.