To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

[Mypetsnails]

Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

I am yet to sculpt DS’s fish fingers into a scale model of the wreck of the Hesperus. - superb line!!!!!

I would be the one with the wet wipes and tissues, I do hand them out if I see others in need!

The 'perfect' families carry useful stuff relevant to the occasion IME. It's the ones that carry tons of stuff that is not relevant that baffle me! Some people always walk around with massive bags of stuff yet never have what they need at the time.

When DD was small, I'd never leave the house for any occasion without packing some kind of activity to do now she's older her phone does the job for me because I do think children get bored quickly need something to do. If you've got children that tend to bicker at home, that's not going to change because you are sitting on a beach/lawn!

I agree with Lordp.
Their all kippers and curtains.
I know a few families who do similar things on days out.
But they are not as happy as " the normals " I find them quite annoying,its all a show.

I've spent a lot of time in my life trying to be the person who is always one step ahead / that bit extra and honestly, it doesn't make their enjoyment any greater than yours! The additional labour, expense and stress involved in trying to picture perfect is usually invisible to the outside eye, but heavily felt by the person bearing it! So I would say you're doing things right if you're having lower stress days out

I only realised this week I was meant to cut grapes in half (they're preteen now so probably a bit late to start) so I'm probably not the most present organised parent. I've had my moments, but generally go with the flow as opposed to planning ahead.

Our beach days sound very similar to yours OP and I too always look with envy and awe at "those" families that seem to do it so much better and with apparent ease. However I feel I may finally be morphing as this summer I smugly remembered to order our fish and chips before we went to the beach so that we didn't have to wait in the usual 2 hour queue for them at the end of the day (Only one fish and chip shop in the vicinity). I have been gloating ever since 😁

We are that family op. But its because dh and I are both organized. I think if you are naturally organized or a planner then it's really no work at all, its second nature.
It helps to walk through the day/ event and you can make a list of what you need. I would feel absolutely overwhelmed if I just pitched up somewhere and floundering about. For unexpected events , I can say that I'm always partially ready at least.
At home we are like this as well. Just forward planning and being very organized.

I used to try and get the family out over the summer. Then adolescence kicked in and I have given up. I recognise the sulky recalcitrant natures, they are just like I was, never destined to comply.

So my bar is set very low BUT when we do go out and about we get on very well. Low stress suits us.

We are probably the family you describe it’s my dh his always been so good at all this stuff, tbh though he looks sophisticated and elegant in everything he does.

If I was left to my own devices I’d forget the towels, dress the dc in too many clothes and serve them warm cheese sandwiches!

Do love national trust, they have some beautiful properties. Me and dh do often go.....without the dc.

Oh and I either have sandwich in a box or we go to a cafe. Like I say low stress all the way.

This is why beaches are a sandy hell for me. I did not do the required planning!

My aunt used to do a full cool box thing which was lovely, she is very well organised, AND SHE ENJOYS IT! I don't so I don't.

I take a plastic bag and that’s about it when we go to the beach.

It’s either used as somewhere dry to sit if everywhere is wet and then at the end can put any rubbish in it.

Part of the fun of going to the beach is throwing pebbles, finding shells and sticks and drawing in the sand or paddling along the shoreline.
None of that needs anything.

We also love finding somewhere for fish and chips or some cockles so don’t tend to bring food with us either.

There’s been the odd occasion I wouldn’t mind a windbreak but seeing as mostly the wind comes from the sea direction I’d rather not block the view I came for.

DH often likes to bring a frisbee ( he always keeps one in the car), mud 9 times out of 10 the wind catches it and it’s lost forever

My husband thinks a giant laundry bag of random items - shoes, racquets, important medicine, yesterday's paper - is a perfectly acceptable way to pack up a car for holidays.

Each drawer was allocated 4 spaces, back, front, left and right, so that was 16 areas in total. He then allocated everything to a space and kept a rolladex type record of where everything was. When I asked him where the passports were in his system he couldn't find his rolladex record! He never found it and, no, I didn't!

Am actually laughing out loud at these two.

I am not sure if I am organised or not. I try to be and a lot of people tell me I am but I find it very stressful to organise stuff. I'd much rather be the laid back person with one backpack and just deal with things as they happen but I get too stressed so bring stuff to feel in control -though of course that is a false sense of control really

And they are always all dressed head to toe in Boden.

My family side is organised, DH’s family side is not.

The first time I met them, in their home town, we had met at a planned event that took about an hour and afterwards everyone just stood about outside, shuffling and looking at their feet. After a while I suggested we go for coffee and faces lit up and said “Yes, where?”’They had lived their all their lives, decades, I had never been before in my life! I asked a passerby and they directed me to a coffee place and then I had to order and pay! Seven of them stood around gormlessly as if they’d never had a coffee before! I felt I had a group of children in my care.

I remember when DH and I went to catch th Efrain home, they all came to be Station and MIL remarked how “lucky” we were because a train was due. Huh? That was the train we’d booked tickets for! Apparently they just rick up to stuff on the day, no bookings , no tickets, and wonder why they can’t get into places. DH had childhood tales of trying to go to the panto on Christmas Eve and being told it had been fully booked since October.

He became more organised when he left his parents’ home because of having a lot of disappointments like that. Now he is the dad who orders the Christmas present in November and DS has changed his mind by December 😁.

There not their 🙄

Too many other typos to correct!

I've improved my family game over the years. Having a few key things in the car helps. A folded picnic mat, a tiny bucket and spade, a football and clothes goes a long way. I had a packet of savoury crackers lost under the seat in there too which made for an impromptu picnic once. The blanket is the best item. It makes any sitting around activity suddenly look like a planned event!

We are in Australia and people seem to be amazing at whipping out a neat picnic with cheese and crackers for adults and fruit platters for the kids. We had a family catchup the other day at a park and ordered pizza! But hey, it worked.

I admit I was super smug when I went to the zoo the other day and had all our own food, suncream etc. With annual pass tickets we only paid for discounted parking. I even remembered to get the parking ticket validated!

And then yesterday my son was begging other kids for a drink of water at the park as I'd failed to even bring a water bottle. You win some, you lose some!

We were one of those families when the children were young. There were 5 of them with a gap of 13 years between the oldest and the youngest. The cost of eating out was prohibitive so we would take a picnic. We had a Transit minivan as our car so we had loads of boot space. So lots of space to store stuff, lots of kids to carry it, an anxious mum who was afraid of leaving anything vital meant that we would take everything but the kitchen sink. We are also prone to bursting into song at odd moments.

None of us has ever been sporty but they all love the beach - digging, making sandcastles/streams/dams. Our oldest would always take the garden spade to dig more efficiently!

Now they are grown up we still do huge picnics. We have a basket permanently packed with plates/cups/tablecloth/cutlery and a trolley that we fill with food.

We recently had an evening picnic with visiting friends and for that we packed fairy lights and lanterns to decorate the picnic table and torches to help us get back to the car.

But once back in the house all pretence at being an Alpha family melts away. I'm just happy that the kids would get on well in public even if they did sometimes hate each other at home.

they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard

This is such a brilliant way of describing it! It's about the people who always get it right obviously, not about the people who are ludicrously over packed etc.

I want to be a biscuit tin person, but am thwarted by my husband my family. And by the fact that tins are always just a tad too small, so all the biscuits fit except three or something.

I think this is why I roll my eyes so much at the #makingmemories It is not the parents who decide what the DC will remember.

My brother's most memorable highlight of a day out at London Zoo was seeing a rhino have a crap. He spent ages describing it to our dad, in great detail.

At the start of the thread I was laughing but now I’m secretly worried I’m one of ‘those’ parents. I went through a phase of making my baby’s food look beautiful and photographing it. But... this stopped at around 10m and has never happened again since. I’ve just looked back at the photos and i wonder how the hell I had the time. My poor second child is unlikely to get the same level of service.

We are having a day out on friday (dh on leave and ds school holiday). He left his car behind today so I will pack and tidy it up. He will do the food shop tomorrow so we can pack the picnic for Friday. And we will just get up and go on friday. We are just organized. It works for us.

Growing up we lived next door to a family like this.

They used to eat their breakfast in their garden and the most unbelievable thing was they'd have orange juice poured from a jug rather than the carton...and a labrador.

My mum used to say they were like a family on an advert.

Jugs v cartons.

Biscuit tins.

I recognise these aspirations but my family just does not care.

We’re that family, we’re organised, but the biggest contributing factor is my two kids don’t argue, they don’t fight, they play together lovely and help each other out and we can spend hours out with no problems and no tantrums at all, and there both under 10.....I can’t tell you how we’ve achieved this....we just have, it’s just what we do and the way my kids are....sounds totally smug.....but I put it down to sheer luck!