To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

[Mypetsnails]

Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

I've never related to anything more than this! Inline your take on it!

And don't worry....you could be my family! At least you had tragic cheese sarnies, we're the ones frantic trying to find the nearest Asda to get all the stuff we forgot to bring 😂 as long as you're happy I say....which we are! X

On the beach we take sand chairs, flasks of tea for me, coffee for dh and hot choc for ds. We take cricket set, body board if surf, bats amd balls. I take my kindle. Dh and child swim in sea no matter how cold with goggles, snorkel and sometimes wey suits and flippers, then play games to warm up. We also have beach tent in case it rains. Child also had separate swimming bag, triathlon bag, cricket and gym bags all ready to grab in hall on pegs. I wash kit and put back in bag. I find it means less gets lost and no wasted time searching for kit. I no longer take cold box but when two children I did.

Newly married but before we had children I remember watching a family of 4 bring a medium size sail boat along side in Cornwall. The children were about 8 and 10 years old. The were slick and well we rehearsed and worked like a pro’ team to bring the boat in safely and secure it. Then they all walked casually together together - not run - to the last available table which they got . I knew then that was the kind of family we were going to be.
Still can’t leave the house without a massive hoo haa and my kids are teens now.

I have 4 kids and I have never been that family! My aim is to take the bare minimum if we go anywhere because I am already herding a ‘large’ family! My friends are like this to a point though. Always bringing the kitchen sink to the beach etc. Most have maximum 2 kids though! I don’t feel bad 😂

@jamhandprints hahaha!

Being organised to military standards is unpleasant though.
My mum is like this.
As soon as she knows an event is happening she demands to know precise details about everything, and I mean everything.
Example:
Ds is in a football tournament in 4 weeks time, come if you like it is at such and such and when I know more details I will pick you up.
Mum; what time will you pick me up and what time does it finish?
Me; I don't know yet, as soon as I do I will tell you.
Mum as we are ending the conversation; so do you know roughly what time it will finish? Will there be good available? Should I take a flask? Should I take sandwiches? What time are you picking me up?
Me; I've already told you , I don't know, I will tell you when I know.
Next day, mum: so what time are you picking me up for the tournament? Should I take a flask and a packed lunch.........
Rinse and repeat constantly.
It's not nice.

Eustasia - I know what you mean. My sister recently went batshit insane at me because I hadn't organised a casual get-together with sufficient formality in her expert opinion.

I think there's a difference between being organised about stuff that affects noone outside of the household, and enforcing that degree of organisation on everyone around you in a way that makes it like a straitjacket. I'm really organised about my own shit, but I am also fairly laid back socially and able to cope with the fact that not everyone wants to plan their life with that degree of military precision. It's a balance though - people who are too disorganised to get things together put others out too. There's definitely a happy medium in there somewhere!

When I was growing up, a picnic on the beach involved sand sandwiches ( maybe that's where the sand part of the word comes from? ) and warm dilute squash while my mum dozed and my dad got stuck into the newspaper. All sat on coats with a bucket and spade for entertainment.
When mine were growing up we had progressed from sand sandwiches to fish and chips with a can of pop 😂

My friend says I have a Mary Poppins bag because I always have enough drinks and snacks, wipes etc. for all of hers as well as mine and a couple of cans of g&t for us.

people who are too disorganised to get things together put others out too

Urgh, this is my ILs. They came camping with us (sites with tents provided so not a lot of organisation needed) and I didn’t think to advise them on what to bring (they are a generation older than me and FIL is supposedly an ex marine) and they didn’t even bring coats! No coats! This is the U.K.! They were freezing and stubbornly refused to buy them because they were embarrassed.

The only instruction we’d had from the site was to bring our own pots and pans, everything else was provided. They didn’t bring those either but we had them so it wasn’t too bad.

We had to vacate the tents by 11.00am on the day we were leaving. They went missing until 10.50 so they weren’t out of theirs until nearer twelve. They then argued about the late checkout fee.

As we were walking to the car to (thankfully) go home, MIL announced that all they’d wanted to do whilst in that part of the country was to go to the nearby attraction and now they didn't have time. We’d been there for four days and they hadn’t mentioned it before.

😐

At Wells-next-the-sea last week I saw a family with an awesome beach tent. As always in these situations I clocked the make to Google it later so I could help us along the road to being one of 'those families'. The beach tent cost £750!!!

I did buy a pull along cart (again after seeing someone else with one) but then it wouldn't fit in the car when we went on holiday once we had packed it with all our other stuff. Sigh.

I had a friend who was very organised, all the stuff together.
Sadly it was the only thing that was in their house though. She drank herself unconscious a couple of nights a week and was incredibly dysfunctional.

verticality Yes, I agree. Massively disorganised people annoy me so much but people who expect military precision at all times are just as bad.

We are organised to take a packed lunch... but it’s always the same thing. A used bread bag with cheese and lettuce sarnies, an apple, a carrot and a shop bought cake bar thing! #winning

There is a big difference between being organised and being controlling, which is what some people are talking about here.

I'm really organised, mostly because I've had to be. It doesn't bring me great pleasure or joy, it just makes my life easier. I don't expect other people to be organised and I'm perfectly happy to lend a friend at the beach a wet wipe or a spare pair of shorts for their child, if I've got one and they haven't without despising them for their disorganisation!!!!!

Some of my friends have the best stories from their lack of organisation - tales of sweet talking their way onto ferries without passports, finding themselves in the middle of Rome without a hotel and all that kind of thing. I think you can have huge adventures that way. I just don't want to be having those myself.

We don't have to look down on other people just because they are not like us!

I tend to carry more stuff now that DS is a teenager and can carry as much or more than me. He likes to sit on the beach chair with his phone so it's right that he carries it.
Then I only tend to go to beaches where I can park fairly close to the beach and not walk very far.

I really only have to think about packing towels, etc at the start of the season because we have designated backpacks for each and for the beach. They always have swim costumes, towels, sun screen, some biscuits, and mine an assortment of beach essentials like spare sun glasses, tissues, wipes, thermometer...

I do the same for sports and school bags.

It's lazy organising. It works and doesn't take much brain space.

Well, I'm certainly not up to the standards OP's states, but I do, and Dh certainly does, like to do things well.

It's actually really easy op, if you choose to do it / build it up over time.

When we go to the beach/when I go to a pop concert, an outdoors one with picnic, over the years I bought really comfy camping chairs with a little side table and when I go with my three friends we pack up a really nice cool bag, Prosecco and wine and vine leaves and olives, etc. just by watching what other people do over the years!

it gets increasingly nicer and nicer and easier, and now I do things automatically, a couple of ice blocks and some nice bits and I'm ready in 5 minutes.

You'd be surprised how easy it is.

Plus we only manage 2 hours at the beach and then we all go home. The only reason ds's don't argue is because they are sound asleep.

Laughing at these forgetting the bags/quavers/treading in dog shit!

My friend came to visit our caravan. She saw all the brochures for local attractions. She said she'd been to them all! I've never taken ds's to a national trust, ever. I occasionally manage swimming pool with tubes and wave machines, rarely. Mine play football with their mates and x box 10 hours straight when I let them!

I agree I find both extremes stressful.
I'm of the share and share alike variety.
When I travelled with friends we always had a list of 'stuff' and I would sort out who was taking what. For example Sharon will take shampoo and conditioner, Clara will take toothpaste, Susann will take shower gel and so on.con

It's the incessant questioning from my mum that gets on my nerves.
But that's another thread.

I think we are one of “those” families OP. But I’m quite an organised person. Tbh I’ve come from quite a hard place and growing up my parents tried their best but never really did those lovely sporty outdoorsie activities as they had such a hard life. So its always been important to me to be as sporty and outdoorsie as possible, and to do the same for my kids.
Plus I love it. I enjoy having everything with me, and not needing to buy food out, and everything being organised and just being prepared generally. I also prefer picnics as we buy organic / locally sourced for environmental reasons and it’s cheaper and less wasteful. I love camping for all the same reasons but don’t enjoy things like lounging by a pool or sunbathing on a beach. We are all different.
Those families you see probably enjoy being organised and having all the “kit” and games etc. If it isn’t how you naturally are, I wouldn’t worry that you are not, and just do what you enjoy.

We used to have a Mazda Bongo. We each had a bag ready packed called a “bongo bag” so we could be off almost instantly in deciding to go somewhere.

I especially feel this way when going out to eat with my children, where it feels as though other children understand eating out etiquette whilst mine look like they are on day release from the zoo. What can you do? Picture perfect was not my calling, apparently zoo keeping is.

I wonder what the overlap is between being 'that family' and enjoying camping? I suspect large. As a sample of one, we are very much not that family and I absolutely hate camping. Some friends recently invited us and our one year old to go camping with them and their toddlers and I genuinely thought they were joking at first because camping with three toddlers sounds so awful.

Have you ever tried getting a pop up tent back in it’s bag?!?!