To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

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Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

I think Teacakeandalatte has it. It is simply a question of family dynamics.

We were 'that' family if I wasnt there. DH is an excellent organiser of family fun. Still is even now DCs are adults. They still go on trips to the zoo with picnic.

I dont go. My skill is in planning stuff not participating

Nope, I never managed it either. And the perfect mum would always be smiling sympathetically as I untangled wasps from one's hair whilst another took his trunks off and shouted 'look at my willy!' and another two children were arguing about something unsuitable that they'd seen on TV in very loud voices.

Your family sound like more fun @Zaphodsotherhead. If we were on the beach next to you, you'd make us smile.

Thing is, some of it is just practice and experience of making days out nicer. For example, my parents were definitely not alpha parents but we lived near the beach so had all the stuff. We’d be there at 8 to get a good spot, had a windbreak, waterproof sheet, picnic blankets, deckchairs etc and had the whole thing sussed.

Someone on page 1 said the mum getting the aprons out etc for crafts was like a comedy routine but it’d be easy in our house as we’ve got everything on a trolley. I wouldn’t put that up there as super organised.

I’ve never even taken the dc to a NT property as I’m pretty sure I won’t be able to sit down & enjoy a cream tea due to children turning feral so there seems no point.

When DS was a weaning baby/toddler we used to have picnics several times a week so I could just shake the crumbs out on the grass after

I always make a big pasta salad for picnics because I hate making sandwiches.

What really gets to me is people who build little rooms with windbreaks so they can't see the sea. What on earth is the point?

I've often wondered that.

Even more mystifying is the people who camp and surround their tent with a wall of windbreaks. If you want to sit behind a fence and be private, why go camping, ffs? I get it if they have young kids and the windbreaks are for toddler containment, but often they are middle-aged couples on their own.

Do you work full time?

By the time I get time off I’m so stressed that if I manage to get my dcs and picnic to a beach, I’m doing well. If we have buckets, spades, water pistols and a picnic blanket too, I’ve earned myself a Magnum.

Barbecue! You’re kidding.

I vary wildly. One day I am insta perfect, the next I'm ignoring my DC while I play video games and mainline red wine. Not quite, but also not far off.

Haha this is me as well. Monday I was out at a tea shop with my well-groomed and well-mannered offspring. Yesterday I watched YouTube videos with headphones on all day while said offspring fended for themselves (with occasional screen time of their own). DD still had her hair in the same plaits from the day before.

My children are very shy which means that they are usually quiet when we're out and about, taking everything in. At home it's a very different story, I can assure you.

We don't have a car (we live in the city), and we catch trains a lot to go and visit relatives. We've got very good at packing over the years. I'm the mum who always has a sticking plaster, a damp cloth, a tissue somewhere about my person. Learned it all the hard way!

I have similar pangs about the sort of instamums who construct woodland dioramas out of their children’s food. I (regrettably) followed a bunch of toddler food accounts when I started weaning and now every time I look at Instagram I am reminded of my own failures as I am yet to sculpt DS’s fish fingers into a scale model of the wreck of the Hesperus.

Then I remember that I have a full-time job that involves more than just taking moodily shot photos of quartered grapes and I feel better.

Chaos leads to funnier childhood memories, and I say that as a graduate of an extremely chaotic household.

The boot of my car always has a change of clothes/ hats and waterproofs/wellies and a picnic rug in (because kids are sporty and they are often wet) plus sun lotion, always have a football. boules and a frisbee in too.
If we're going to the beach (we have a holiday house near the sea that we visit often) i add cheese butties and flapjacks which we supplement with a portion of chips, a cuppa in a polystyrene cup from the kiosk and a fruit salad we get from the supermarket in the village. Nobody has time to chop tropical bloody fruit on holiday do they? (unless they are doing it on the beach, direct from the tree, with a cutlass)
and then we go to the pub for one and then head home. Simple. No fuss.

whothedaddy
I never seem to forget anything. Any need OH has is catered for.

Did you mean your children? The needs your children have? Please don’t tell me you carry everything for your other half to cater to his/her every need?

My family are the ones twatting the shit out of each other and shouting and bellowing and generally getting in the way of other people! Can't do a thing without bickering amongst ourselves.

This thread is brilliant! Really funny!

We're the 'rock up and see what happens type of family' for sure!

We went on holiday last week. One day I took DD to the beach while DH went for a wander round the town. After half an hour I called him as some clouds were looking rather threatening, he was already on his way back. I then called for DD & asked her to come back... she ran away. By the time I'd packed up the picnic blanket, bags & shoes, he'd arrived, located DD & had to tell her off for continuing to jump into rockpools instead of vacating the beach. Meanwhile the lovely sunny afternoon had degenerated into the beginnings of a thunderstorm & my nice straw hat was getting wet... we went to get ice creams & ate them hiding in the bandstand with loads of other other bedraggled sandy people, & had to defend our food from seagulls.

We definitely look Alpha - picnic blanket & usually a picnic if we're going out for the day, proper straw hats with ribbons sewn onto DD's in case it's windy, natural fibre clothing, beach shelter, only drink water in reusable bottles, etc, etc, but then stuff happens & it all goes to hell. We're just not very good at adulting, I think.

We are soo not that family. We chose this week to go to the UK seaside. ..I bring a cool bag with sandwiches but they never look very appetising..ds refused to wear a wetsuit, went blue after also refusing to come out of the sea, wouldn't use the 1 towel I had remembered to bring as "it made him look about 4" And wouldn't sit down on the picnic blanket "because theres sand everywhere". Yes, on a beach, who knew.
I long for beach cricket, appropriate equipment and everyone smiling.
It's pissing with rain again. I have been looking up places to go and hear a lot about national Trust places on MN..well the nearest stately home charges £50 per family...!! Fifty quid! So we're going to the games arcades 😂

We’re the half organised family - we always have a picnic blanket because it lives in the boot of the car (along with bucket and spade during summer).

We don’t take a shitload of stuff to the beach; DS2 has ASD and sometimes we have to make a quick getaway before he goes into meltdown. We do always have a ton of food in a cool bag though. Both DSes are permanently hungry!

Organised games are a no-no, since DS2 often can’t cope with that sort of thing so he’s often pottering about with his bucket looking for stones, while DS1 and DH play a bit of football or build sandcastles. I’m very much a fan of getting them to potter about and amuse themselves - I take them to all sorts of place, but I’m not going to be around forever and they need to learn to entertain themselves not expect me to organise it all!

Haha I can't stand those families. I look and thing "really? Why you need all that stuff??
I'm the picnic in one backpack kinda mum. I feel like I've done well to remember a pack of wet wipes.
At the beach just towels, swimwear and a change of trousers. I would never dream of taking deckchairs, windbreaks and endless games. Can you imagine carrying it all? No thanks.

We once went to a firework competition. There was a group next to us who had essentially replicated their dining room, complete with candelabra

Pmsl.

The only time I've seen a candelabra out of doors was at Glyndebourne. Two couples, the women in posh party frocks and the men in the kilt outfit you see at posh Scottish weddings put up a table big enough to seat 6, covered it with a damask tablecloth, laid it with proper cutlery and champagne in an ice bucket and proceeded to lay out their meal, which included a whole salmon.

My mate and I were , as we sat on a rug on the grass, ate finger food out of tupperware and swilled wine from plastic cups.

The laughable thing was that for all their poshness, it was only a dress rehearsal and the tickets were FREE!

This thread is making me happier that l just go to thr nice, overpriced cafe and sneak picky ds a sandwich under the table. We a poorer but we've had a lovely piece of cake each.

I hate carrying a load of different bags just to end up with a soggy sandwich and a warm yoghurt.

i have to say, we have people to stay with us (often) friends with kids of similar ages, they bring 'all the gear' and we're always bemused by how military it all seems for the kids.

Nobody has time to chop tropical bloody fruit on holiday do they?

Hell no. But you can buy it ready chopped.

@Andysbestadventure I don’t think that’s quite what the OP meant ...

MintJulia - absolutely true. Somewhere in the world, there are at least 40-odd other people who witnessed it too. And most of them were struggling not to laugh. TBH, by the end, there was a bit of outright heckling, which DH & I thought was unnecessary (especially as we were standing practically next to the girlfriend/wife, & could see her embarrassment). Surprised it never ended up on YouTube.

I dont envy that. I envy the outdoorsy family who manage an entire day on a judiciously packed backpack or two. Theres me at the beach with plastic bags full of buckets and spades 2 million changes of clothes and a picnic to feed the 5000.

Me too. Though I like having all the stuff I bring 'just in case' I also loathe carting it around.

I spend my life looking for the perfect beach bag bag - ie very light, easy to carry, almost invisible in fact and of course only one bag so I will look ultra cool - BUT it needs to hold windbreak, balls, frisbee, rackets, , changes of clothes, towels, suncream , books, food for many people, cool drinks waterproofs (often essential on UK beach holidays!!), sunglasses, spade, buckets, picnic rug, cover ups etc etc

I haven't found it yet but I refuse to believe DH when he laughs at me and says it doesn't exist. I believe in the bag, I do I do ....

I saw an article once in a magazine and it stuck with me and then we became "that family." Which was to take tent pegs to pin down your picnic blanket. Each corner of the blanket has a curtain clip which has a metal ring attached. I have heard people comment on it whilst we were picnicking.

We have a ready to go first aid kit because we are a clumsy family. We always have wipes, tissues and when the children were younger a change of clothes in the boot of the car because one child would end up falling in mud or a puddle.

My own family had legendary hot picnics of sausages, hot chicken and roasted potatoes. I thought this was perfectly normal until I realised other families ate sandwiches.

My Mum was very organised so I think it comes from that.