To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

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Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

Did anyone else notice a curious dead separation of the views on how much stuff to take to the beach voiced by people who live on the coast/near the coast.

A lot of people said we live near the beach, so it makes sense to go often and of course we've got all the gear or had to accumulate it over the years.

Some other seaside dwellers said we turn up with a ball that's it sort of thing and it's ridiculous what people feel they need to bring with them to the beach.

I wonder if it's just the difference between driving or walking to the beach. If you walk all the way it'd be physically impossible to lug loads with you, but equally must feel weird to drag your house comforts with you if they are within easy reach, plus experiencing life rough and ready must be refreshing. You won't plan to spend all day at the beach normally and will always know that if you are bored or hungry you can just walk home?

People with all the beach gear - how far away are you from the coast? Most of the time at UK beaches I wished I owned a beach tent or a windbreak, but we are in the Midlands and some years don't get to the beach at all, some go once or twice. Just doesn't seem worth it for such rare outings...
Though a few years ago we did stay a week in Devon and went to the beach a lot, however the sand was so so deep on the approaches- I remember having to carry the pushchair because it was impossible to push through. With the toddler and all their paraphernalia plus food we just didn't have the hands for anything extra anyway.

ShivD my DH is still processing trying and failing to pack one away about 15 years ago. After a good hour of trying he ended up damaging it and had to throw it away. He’d borrowed it from a friend and had to buy them a new one.

Completely relate OP! I generally don't have much common sense so not sure if it's that??

It takes us about 1.5 hours to drive to the beach we go to and it is fairly remote. We stop on the way for something to eat, so just take water to the beach and I have something ready for us to eat when we get home. We go 2/3 times every summer.

Last time we took:

Day tent, picnic blanket, cool box with drinks, towels, suntan lotion, 2 bags of water to rinse off after the beach, buckets and spades, body board, frisbee, snorkeling gear, fishing nets, first aid kit and pull-along wagon. Of course swim suits and beach sandals.

It's about the right amount of stuff for us. The kids have a great time. I think if we just turned up without anything everyone would get a bit bored. I also don't think we really need anything else. We've been a few times, so we're fairly organised. I used to take food, but it just got sandy and no one ate it.

Blackcat- “bags of water to rinse off at the beach”? Say what?

You know, you use them for camping? Like this.

I actually forgot baby powder last time.

There was one couple at the beach who opened the boot of their car and had some kind of portable shower unit there. They didn't just rinse off, they actually shampooed their hair. Which was impressive enough, but then the woman actually pulled out a portable hair dryer and dried her hair off too.

We just rinse off our feet and have showers at home.

People with all the beach gear - how far away are you from the coast?

We live near the beach/lake and go there a lot - we have fold up chairs, a foldaway blanket, a coolbag, an umbrella, a windbreak, two kayaks, boogie boards, a few beach bags that have towels, swimsuits, etc in them, flippers, masks/snorkels. We take as much of it as we feel we'll need that day. Where we live you can't generally just food at or near the beaches, so we take our own.

We also have a lot of camping gear, but again, we camp in fairly wildernessy spots, so you can't just go to a cafe for breakfast or a pub for dinner.

Some of my friends have the best stories from their lack of organisation - tales of sweet talking their way onto ferries without passports, finding themselves in the middle of Rome without a hotel and all that kind of thing. I think you can have huge adventures that way. I just don't want to be having those myself.

Yeah, a good friend arrived at the airport to fly from the UK to France, only to be informed that French immigration wouldn't accept her son's passport because it had less than 6 months left on it. They spent the next two days making emergency appointments at the US embassy, cancelling flights, spending a fortune on last minute trains and hotels, and ended up sobbing helplessly when they were told they couldn't board the train. They never did make it to France.

It didn't sound like all that much fun to me.

drsausage 6 months? For France? Were they not British?

2 or 3 visits over a summer would drive me mad, it's about 2 or 3 visits a week here. Normal weekday trip with the kids (3, including one toddler) I will just bring a hannam style towel each, plus a costume. A towelling hoody per child. Bottle of water, snacks. Hat per child, suntan lotion, lip balm, phone, ball or two and a bucket. Perhaps some paper and pencils if feeling v organised. Dummy for the toddler. That fits in one rattan type shopping bag bar the bucket which a child takes. Plus a few plastic bags for separating wet/dry stuff. That'll do us all day really, we may get an ice cream, some chips for lunch or whatnot.

If going on a weekend, with dh as well we would take the above plus paddle boards, wetsuits, a couple of beers/cold drinks, perhaps the cadac BBQ thing with a few bits. We will often get to beach mid morning and not leave until twilight.

We don't bother trying to remove too much sand, they dry off and the majority comes off as they move around. They tend to stay in swimmers and hoodies all day and go home in them. Remaining sand is occasionally hoovered out of the car. 😂

drsausage 6 months? For France? Were they not British?

They are American.

Even I would draw the line at rinsing off water. What’s wrong with seawater and a shower at home?

I think you can have huge adventures that way. I just don't want to be having those myself.

^This. My sis is like that. She has on many occasions just packed bags, turned up at the airport and decided where to go on holiday with her DH and three DC when they see what flights are up. She googles for hotels while they are in the flight lounge. That's her idea of adventure and my idea of hell. I like a nice holiday spreadsheet and two years to plan every last detail. Luckily so do DH and DC.

Some beaches have showers don't they? I'll have a shower if there is one but wouldn't take a special shower gadget.

@MangoMummy19, I totally relate. It's like they've never been outside the house before. Why didn't we get the von Trapp children all lined up with their hands behind their back?

Loved refrettably

We live less than 10 mins from our nearest beach and a lot of locals have transporter style vans kitted out with surfing in mind and I’ve seen a few with showers too.

We just bring what we need for each trip and tend to go in the evenings when it is quieter.

I have a very clear memory of sitting on a harbour wall with dd waiting for my then DH when a very enthusiastic man came striding past me carrying a large biscuit tin labelled "sea fishing" I imagined his very organised garage with shelves lined with labelled tins and boxes and will admit to being slightly aroused.

I hadn't married a well organised man or a man who got involved with any of the planning and organising of life, and therefore it was an uphill battle to achieve the level of organisation that results in a biscuit tin labelled "sea fishing". It's ironically easier for me as a single parent and the future MrMontyD is much more hands on.

We're one of those families. However, I never ever have baby wipes and my kids are constantly without socks.

I'm not a saint.