To wonder why we aren't one of "those" families

[Mypetsnails]

Sort of lighthearted. This is going to sound SO daft. But do you ever notice the families who seem, well, better at family-ing than everyone else?

We went to a thing at a National Trust place at the weekend. Took a picnic and sat on the big green. Right beside us there was this family that had a three sided shelter type thing which they'd popped their baby and picnic in to protect them from the sun. They'd brought tennis racquets and these gorgeous kids and their equally beautiful parents were taking it in turns to whack a ball around/sit in the shelter thing. They had a picnic cool bag the size of my kitchen, no idea what they brought but it was probably nicer than my tragic cheese sandwiches

Then there's the beach. We're trying to stop our towels blowing away, and the alpha family have a wall of windbreaks, a body board, and a barbecue.

DD is actually friends with a child from such a family, and they also have a really organised hallway with special named slots and storage systems for all the children's outdoor things. Plus the mum has a boot storage thing with a first aid kit, plasters, and spare clothes in it.

There's obviously nothing stopping me buying little shelters, bodyboards, and shoe storage for my hallway, but it's more that it wouldn't occur to me? And I don't know why? I used to play at a tennis club twice a week, why on earth don't WE bring racquets with us?

Does anyone know what I mean? I was a very solitary only child, and my parents didn't do a lot of child friendly things with me, so maybe it's a bit of a hangover from that - I remember feeling that my family and home was very different from other people's but when I tried to express why to my mum, I said "they have big tins for their biscuits and we just put ours into the cupboard"

Some things are just being organised and common sense, others are just plain hard work. You pick what works for you and what you can be bothered with!

I cringe when I see baby on the beach during a hot day, no amount of parasol and shade tents will help , it's so unnecessary.

I have seen families getting out full picnic tables, with table clothe, a real cutlery box... great for them, but not something I would want to bother with.

Some people cannot bear to sit on the stand and must rent sunbeds. Nothing wrong either way, but no reason to feel you've done something wrong if you prefer your towel!

I am neither organised nor tidy but when I have a day out with children and grandchildren it's like a military operation. I guess we look like one of "those" families.

This! We have the shelter, fancy picnic bag, rugs, chairs, bodyboards, hot and cold drinks, games etc but it’s in no way an indicator as to any level of organisation in any other area of our lives!

We're that family in terms of the DC being outdoors happily all day and being organised; I'm an absolute control freak, though, so that's why we never forget anything, and I suspect DH would much prefer to be indoors with a book and a glass of wine because too much sport or company gives him the heebies.

However, last time we went to a British beach, one of the DC was merrily prancing about with our friends DC while I set up camp (the teens had wandered off to join a game of football with another group of teens) and mine gleefully shouted "mummy, mummy, look what I've found" and sprinted joyfully across the beach with a handful of what can only be described as human shit, fell over as he reached our beach shelter and sprayed me, our friends and our beach shelter with liquid shart.

Even those families get covered in shit occasionally.

*sit on the SAND
can't type!

I smiled when reading this .I know EXACTLY what you mean and you have described it so well!.I remember a few years ago passing a family on a clifftop walk ,all smiling and happy and SINGING all the time .like a beachside Von Trapp family!. Needless to say mine are nothing like that!.Usually some sandwiches ,an apple and a choc wafer !.Some /much moaning about how far are we going !

There are 3 types of family, the picnic basket kind,the plaky bag kind and the do nowt with the kids kind. At least OP you are not the 3 kind

How do these families stop the children from complaining?! I could be supermum and DD would still pitch a fit because she changed her mind and wanted a different sandwich or a fly came near her.

I remember a picnic from childhood, my mother bollocked us ending with, "you will sit down, you will eat this picnic and you WILL enjoy yourself".

I took my two teens plus a friend each to the South if France and I remember that holiday with such affection. The Dutch family opposite us were Perfect Family. I was a single parent who had saved for the holiday all year and drove there in my little Clio with luggage for us all plus food and a sweating mess. They drove a four wheel drive with air con, had matching picnic stuff, bike stuff and tennis stuff and they took perfect photos with them all standing on the caravan steps in age order. No one got cross or sweaty or ate haribos at breakfast. They sat on their matching chairs eating fruit each morning before lining up on their sparkly bikes to bike in the forest before coming home and eating a lovely healthy lunch on their beautiful coordinated picnic chairs and table.
And how we laughed and attempted to replicate them ( I still have the photo of us on our caravan steps in height order)
The children are now grown with families of their own and they will still talk of that holiday as the best they've ever had

SOunds like these families have a lot more space to store all that stuff and more space to create storage, and lot more money than most, tbh.

That is why I am not one of 'those' families.

I know exactly what you mean & Ive accepted I will never be uber organised so therefore can’t be a super organised mum. I have a friend like this, at school she was the same, never a leaky ink cartridge, never creases in her sticky back used to cover workbooks, etc.

I’m never going to be that mum, despite having lots of the equipment. A) I like spontaneity so often end up doing something we didn’t plan for therefore don’t have stuff. 2) I look at families on the beach with windbreakers, chairs, bbq stuff, cooler boxes etc & remember that I have all that but can’t be bothered to carry out.
I’m a bit forgetful so often have gone away without a nappy bag, travel cot, baby shoes etc which is annoying.

@Teacakeandalatte that made me laugh!

Went for a day out Sunday, Colombia road flower market in east London and then city farm and picnic with friends. DH was having his hair cut so arranged to meet us at farm. Before I left with DS I literally walked DH to the fridge, showed him where the pack of Parma ham, salami etc was and said pls can you bring this in picnic bag and pick up bread and crisps, I'll take DS's food as it's all together with snacks in his lunch bag. We sit down for picnic, DH has bag, we've remembered blanket....look in the bag and there is just bread and crisps....DH thought I'd taken the meat (to sweat in the sin for 2 hours). It did make me laugh that he'd carried giant heavy insulated picnic backpack just for crisps and bread! Still we had plates, knives and forks and even mini salt and pepper shakers to go with our dry crisp sandwiches 😂

I think we can all look like that from the outside at the right time. I know I can, but it's a snapshot. You don't see the arguments getting out of the house.

I am, what one may call, a fraud.

I have the nice picnic rug and the nice cool bag and the sun tent, but I spent most of the lunch yesterday hissing at ds to stop being a little shit throwing sand everywhere in a strop.

I have a bag of clothes and toys in the boot but this is only because I am really disorganized and it is easier to just have it live there.

Most of the stuff we have we have just got over the years. We always holiday in the UK and we are not that far from the coast so it has just sort of evolved.

Oh god I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of lugging extras like windbreakers, fold up chairs and cricket sets etc along to the beach! No a towel, bucket and spade and maybe an inflatable ball will do! Perhaps those people are the ones with beach huts so they don't have to drag it there?!

Picnics are usually meal deals from the petrol garage too but that suits us as we can pick the sandwich we want and it doesn't get squashed like a home made one wrapped in foil would! I do take some fruit and frubes and cakes too.

It doesn't sound like real fun to me it sounds like forced fun? Maybe I'm just cynical though as it's not my idea of fun?

The absolute faff of it though OP. Lugging loads of stuff to destination, setting it all up only to take it all back to the car later, schlep it all home again and then unpack again.
Far better to take the essentials and travel light- less to forget then!

I am one of those families, to be honest I think it's just practice. I was a stay at home for years so we went on lots of days out and picnics. Just means I know now what I need and have most of it together, organised and ready to go.
I have a winter and summer bag for the car boot. One contains spare gloves, hats etc. One has sun hats, sun cream and spare clothes. Picnic blankets and some outdoor toys in the boot then I don't have to look for those things while trying to get out. I know they're already in the car.

This is what I think we’re like in my head. Unfortunately, my dc are incompatible with this life!

I am a clean freak and very organised. I have special activity boxes for the dc. All named with my labelling machine. They all have their own crate by the front door with their outdoor things. I love packing picnics and windbreakers and tents to take to the beach. Even my dogs have their own crate with their collar/lead and toys in.

That all goes out the window with my dc though. Imagine me being all zen like unpacking my picnic, trying to lay it out all nice on my beautiful blanket. Rackets, cricket bats, balls etc. Then imagine my 3 mental dc running about, screaming, arguing, stomping on the beautiful blanket. Screaming muuuuuuum he did this, she did that. Trying to hit each other with the cricket bat.

I keep trying though........

It is good planning thats all, no special secret and a good nights sleep usually.

Pack up the car the day before, always add a rounders set and a ball, and then you have happy children all day.

I have loads of stuff in the boot (loads of space) but I find on the occasion I need something I’ve parked bloody miles away & cant be bothered to get it.

Papa I think you've largely nailed it. Along with having enough money and the motivation, the main thing I think is the dc's natural temperaments

I think it's all about having headspace and having time to get organised. If you regularly get a break from your kids, eg. Working or granny taking them, your mind isn't totally cluttered up and thinking about these things and getting them organised isn't a problem.
When you never have headspace it's just one thing after another and forward planning doesn't happen.

There is something aspirational about a windbreaker. I was always envious of the families that had them when I was growing up and was thrilled to acquire a second hand one when DC were little. It got used once and I realised that it was a bloody nuisance to lug around and that if it was windy enough to use a windbreaker it was too windy for the beach. Same with the snazzy wicker picnic basket, looked great but was heavy, unwieldy and scratchy. We spent a lot of that particular holiday holed up in our caravan watching a Buffy box set and eating our body weight in Ferrero Rocher. The DC still refer to it as the best holiday ever.

I do know what you mean MyPetsnails I genuinely think people are just ‘born’ like that! And if you weren’t born with that annoying organised gene then you’ve had it!
My sister in law is very organised! A trip to Marks and Sparks? She will bring a bottle of water for both of us! Stop for coffee? She brings out 2 biscuit bars to have with said coffee! Got a headache? Out comes the paracetamol! Forgotten someone’s birthday? It will be in her little book in her handbag! I love her to bits, but she does make me feel inadequate! 🤨

@Xen20 I'd love to be that organised but my kids would just roll their eyes and be like whatever mum!

Haha I feel like I'm the opposite.. all I've said this summer is "will you stop whinging?"

I used to be so gentle and patient but having two kids in two years and a husband who works away has worn down my patience!