To think grown adults don’t need to be in touch with each other multiple times during the day?

[PuzzledObserver]

It seems to be fairly common on MN for people to be texting or calling their DP multiple times in the course of a day.

Early stages of a relationship and you’re in lurve..... I get it.

You’re doing something out of your normal routine and want to let DP know, or you’re going to the shops and text to ask if they need anything, fair enough.

DC had an accident or your workplace is on fire, absolutely.

But on a bog standard ordinary day when you’re both doing whatever you normally do and you’re both going to be home around the time you usually are..... why would you?

Why do people care enough to speech police other peoples' relationships in this way?

He doesn't have time for that and would not be able to as ( works as a SEN teacher) and I'm too busy. Probably reflects society's attitude to work. I work with a number of individuals who seem to just mess about on their phones all day and don't pull their weight.

My husband is a teacher so isn’t usually able to respond if I send eg a photo of our son. I’m usually able to send a quick response if I go to the loo or make a cup of tea, or occasionally, if I’m not working on very in-depth stuff, at my desk. I like receiving photos to see what he is doing. I must be a TERRIBLE mother for not pretending he doesn’t exist during the day. Clearly I have a SHIT ATTITUDE TO WORK AND A WEAK RELATIONSHIP

This hacks me off too. Because colleagues kept tap tapping on their phones they are now banned. It's a PITA as I used to have my phone beside me in case school needed to get in touch re the DC.

This hacks me off too. Because colleagues kept tap tapping on their phones they are now banned. It's a PITA as I used to have my phone beside me in case school needed to get in touch re the DC.

I get that, that's interfering with work and is unacceptable.

But people saying you've got a weak relationship if you are able to contact without interfering with your work is ridiculous.

I am able to talk or message DH without disturbing our days and I do and vice versa....... been married 32 years so not overly worried our relationship is weak.

All these people saying they're so busy at work they can't, do you not get breaks, lunch hours because if you never do then that's not a healthy work environment and you will burn out.

It totally depends on what the people in the relationship are happy with.

Me and exh barely spoke during the day. Suited us both.

Me and dp send a few to eachother. I leave before he gets up. So he he will text me when he gets up, asks me how my day is and we send a few during the day.

Usually about something.

I will ring him when hevis on lunch. I can use my phone whenever at work.

The only time it's a problem is when one person doesnt like it. I know someone whose husband constantly texts
Not just at work, but if she is out, if he is out, if he has nipped into town. Calls as well, always telling her mundane things. It pisses her off.

What's worse is that once when we were all out I caught him moaning that she expects it's his mate were telling him to get her told. So I got them all told, that she doesnt. Its him. Then told him to stop being a dick. Luckily we all get on very well and it didnt cause a problem. Though his mates took the piss for a while.

I’m an introvert and text DH during the day and he texts me. We’re friends. It’s a strange thing to get annoyed about. I can only assume the people who hate it, don’t really have a good relationship and are envious. Otherwise, why would it bother you?

Just depends what works for you
I send my dh pictures of the funny stories in the newspaper and a picture of the train puzzle that I've usually messed up. We don't call unless there's a reason though

#flashdancer119 I think the problem is that a lot of people don't wait for breaks and lunchtime. It carries on all day.

@whiteroseredrose but that's a different issue and not what the OP is really talking about here? It's the why even if it is convenient and not intruding on your work day would you bother attitude.

It's a wonder some people get any work done with all this messaging all day.

I don’t hear from dh until he’s coming home from work or he wants something. I only ring dh if it’s something important, can’t be doing with meaningless chit chat, we can do that when he’s home.
Dh went to the rugby on Sunday, I didn’t hear from him all day as he was having fun. I went to bed and saw him in the morning when he stumbled out of the spare bedroom 🤷🏼‍♀️ He’s alive, meh!

We’re the same Longdistance. Very rarely have contact with DH during the day but he will call me on his way home. If one of us is out for the day/night we don’t text or ring either. We’re great friends, love each other blah blah but being in contact all day is just not us. I don’t care what others do though.

I don't get it but then I was working before most people had mobiles and whilst you could make a personal call on the office phones it was frowned upon to make more than one unless a true emergency unless it was lunchtime - they are paying you to work!

I just don't understand why anyone needs to constantly be in touch

Yeah when it was a telephone 📞 in the house people didn’t bother unless coming home late.
I don’t understand it either. DH works away from home and I am lucky to hear from him every few days. It once or twice was a fortnight!

I also have to laugh at men shopping and ringing home to find out what to buy when there isn’t the exact product named on the list. There was a guy last night walking up and down a long aisle of 🥖 🍞 🥯 bread asking what to get. She was describing the bread logo but he couldn’t find it and didn’t know what to buy. It was bread! Just buy a loaf!

DH and I don’t contact each other in the working day unless there’s an issue, but when I’m off visiting my parents we’ll text each other back and forth all evening - just chit chat about my journey down, and funny things the kids have said, silly jokes about whatever’s on TV, comments about the news - basically anything we’d say to each other if we were together.

DH does this and it irrationally annoys me. He leaves the house just before 8am and by 8:30 just as I'm arriving at work I get a "You ok?" I then get a second one mid morning and a final one after lunch.

I often ignore them and pretend to have been in meetings.

God, yes, people who want to talk to their DP about things that interest them are so lacking in cultural interests.

In the interests of full disclosure, at other times of the year we’re more likely to be chatting about how the football’s going or the state of the haircuts on Top Of The Pops 1984 repeats on BBC4, but the fact still stands - sometimes you want to share something with your DP which the people you’re with wouldn’t “get”.

@PickAChew how do you SEE it? You work with someone who does it? If it affects their work then I suppose that’s annoying. But just having to glance and see someone typing, how does that affect your day?

I’m not in constant contact but do message 3 or 4 times a day. I’m on my own all day with 2 children. It’s nice to tell him what we’re up to and have communication with an adult. Obviously if this option wasn’t available it wouldn’t be a big deal

Everyone is different. Failing to see why it bothers anyone what other people do

We're not in touch multiple times. He's at work, I'm working at home and I just don't have time for idle chit chat.

I very, very rarely phone him at work and if his phone goes he knows it's really important and will either step out to take the call or call me back asap. Usually if I need to speak to him it will be a quick text to say to call me when he can. And he always phones when he's leaving and on his way as it's an hour drive.

As a manager I'd be fairly fed up if a worker was spending a large amount of time texting "love you" messages or phoning their partner.

"I see it as a bit pathetic, needy and co-dependent to feel the need to text your other half multiple times a day."

I agree. I really can't be doing with being interrupted multiple times a day to answer a text about something that can wait until we see each other. Besides I find texting a right old faff.

I work very closely with someone who is lovely, but she is never off her phone for more than half an hour. It is no surprise that I get through far more work than she does.

As I am ancient I went through my teens and twenties without a mobile phone. I was 36 when I got my first mobile in 1995. When I first started work we had a very strict no personal phone calls policy. Today's young people would probably struggle with that.

Live and let live.

"Live and let live."

I agree - when the texter is not at work, but when it affects work productivity it is massively taking the piss, and does impact other people.

@2gorgeousboys why don't you just ask your DH to stop? Rather than pretend you're in a meeting?

I really don't understand how in a relationship someone is doing something on a daily basis that annoys you and you can't discuss it.