To think grown adults don’t need to be in touch with each other multiple times during the day?

[PuzzledObserver]

It seems to be fairly common on MN for people to be texting or calling their DP multiple times in the course of a day.

Early stages of a relationship and you’re in lurve..... I get it.

You’re doing something out of your normal routine and want to let DP know, or you’re going to the shops and text to ask if they need anything, fair enough.

DC had an accident or your workplace is on fire, absolutely.

But on a bog standard ordinary day when you’re both doing whatever you normally do and you’re both going to be home around the time you usually are..... why would you?

The only time it annoys me is when I’m out with a particular friend and she can’t hold a proper conversation because she has to constantly be in touch with her husband. My own DH is ill and I have to get someone to sit with him the odd time I go out so waiting around while they text - and often phone - is time wasted for me. And she insists on telling me the inane things they text. Just not interested what snacks he’s having or what he’s watching on TV.

Who’s counting? Why does it bother you?

I used to commute insane hours (3 hours each way) and DH and I would 'have dinner together'. I'd eat my M&S nibbly bits and drink wine on the train while he was at home on the phone with me. Because when I GOT home he would usually be asleep, and asleep still in the monring by the time I had left the house.

It's better now that I have a 30 minute commute!

DH texts me on his breaks at work so he can see how we are and if DD has done anything interesting that day. I think it's sweet and shows he's thinking about us. We sometimes send each other little things we find funny. He's my best friend, he really is, we've been together for 15 years. I think it's nice that we still make time to say hello throughout the day.

I quite like my DP.

Is it not pretty much that simple?

I don't need to get in touch with her, but when you ask 'why would you,' the answer is ... erm, cos I like her? I like chatting to her? We're friends as well as people who shag (and we have a toddler so it's not like we do that much)?

Why does it bother you?

I'm fascinated by people that do this. What on earth do they talk about? I'm jealous tbh.

Been married for 31 years. Still send chatty emails to each other throughout the day plus occasional phone calls. We'll carry on doing that until we're both retired and spending all of our hours together. Why on earth should that bother you OP ?

No we don't unless it's something important. My dp is a builder so he's often using power tools or doing something where he hasn't got his hands free so he doesn't answer anyway. He can't be stopping every five minutes for something trivial and it doesn't look professional to be constantly on your phone.

My DH is forces so we totally rely on texting each other, apart from when he’s away and we have no contact at all for 4/5 months

I don;r see how it affects you OP OH and I don't communicate much during the day either, but if two people want to I don't see why it's any of my business.

We don;'t talk about much of consequence 1300 . Today I t called to tell DH I had parked next to a puddle and stepped in it. So this evening while I was cooking dinner he dried my shoes with the hair dryer.

It is a bit banal. But very precious to me, none the less!

We've been together 20 years nearly and text several times a day, phone for a chat at lunch if we get chance.
If either of us go out we tend to sneak the odd text in too.
At the end of the day their is nobody either of us would rather talk to than each other.

I don't understand why grown adults would care about how another couple chooses to conduct their relationship. This literally says nothing about your functional ability or worth. So long as it's not horrendously inappropriate, it's not really anyone else's business.

I do think there's a generational element to some of this. I'm 29 and had a phone from age 11- I'm a complete native to digital communications, it's never been something that's been done by younger people that I've had to adopt. It's just part of the tapestry of how I conduct relationships.

DH and I message through the day. It's stupid stuff like memes, pictures, things we need to remember or do.

We’ve been married for 12 years and text all the time. It’s the only time we actually get to chat whilst not dealing with kids or falling asleep on the sofa so bugger off! Grown adult my arse! He’s lying next to me in bed. I’m going to text him a picture of a kitten just to piss you off.

Couples who do this - are both of you extroverts?

It would do my head in.

Yeah we email briefly throughout the day. Luckily we can still do our jobs perfectly fine. We're too tired for much chit chat in the evening so that helps make up for it.

I get random texts from my DH throughout the day, along with stupid notes in my lunch box and rude WhatsApp messages. So what?

We've been together 20+ years and can still have a laugh at a penis drawn on a banana (in said lunch box) I love it! 😄

Just reading wanted to say queenunikitty I was really taken aback by that response to your perfectly innocuous post!

Both introverts! And DH is very very reclusive generally. We are each other's closest friends. I'd rather talk to DH than anyone else.

Me and my DH have been together 9 years. We text all day and call each other when we leave work. I don't know why, we're not a needy couple. Just like chatting!

Me and DP exchange a couple of messages at lunchtime and perhaps once or twice more if sth happening during working day etc. Can't see the issue? It dsnt affect anyone else?

DH and I send memes of random shite all day long. We literally say hi/bye when he gets home and I go out to work, he's then in bed when I get home and he's up and out the house before I'm up the next day.

We'd literally only talk sat and sun if we didn't. Plus I guess unlike some couples, we actually like each other and enjoy the "fluffy stuff" as a pp put it

We've been married almost 40 years and we text often. Dh is now retired so I might text him during my lunchbreak just to see how he is. He might text asking what I fancy fit dinner or to send me pictures of dgc if it's a day when Dh is doing childcare. I also call h on my way home and he makes me a drink ready for when I get in.
Aa long as its not happening in work time, I don't understand why it's a problem?

We do. Because we like each other

@DeadButDelicious my partner does the same, texts on breaks to see how kids are, how I am...we will be 15 years this november too