I'm 30 and dating a 19 year old

[Luciferthethird]

That's it really, I've 2 DC's they've not been introduced yet, still too early for that. We've been dating for about 3 weeks. He's lovely and he keeps telling me the age gap doesn't bother him.
My sister has the exact same age gap between herself and her partner but somehow that seems more acceptable when it's the man that's older. I just need a sounding board really.

OP

Where the heck do you find the time to date (and find!) all these men when you are a single parent of two young children

(And why the heck do you even want to? It all sounds a bit grotty tbh)

I had a date with a 19 year old when I was 25, he seemed young to me and you're five years older than I was with two children. It's not the size of the age gap, it's the age of the younger partner. If you were fifty and he was 39 it'd be ok. It's just a bit grim, he's a teenager, I'd say the same if you were male saying a 19 year old female.

I think OP (and this is only my opinion) given your past, this is self protection. You are older and more experienced, so have the upper hand, he's young so you don't think he can hurt you, he probably worships you a bit in that way teen boys do with older women and you don't think it'll go anywhere long term, so all round it's safe and you feel comfortable and in control. If he's up for it and so are you, crack on, but do not introduce him to your children.

I can't get over how many dates you've had in just 3 weeks and the fact that you've had friends over. Over where? At yours, I'm assuming - unless you all had a cosy evening in his bedroom at his parents house.

And if it was at yours, where were your kids?

I work with sixth formers, some of which stay on an extra year (so they're 19) and I wouldn't consider a single one of them date-worthy. They're lovely kids, but kids is what they are.

And I'm really uncomfortable with the detail in your OP that your own kids haven't met him yet, which implies that they will be at some point. After 3 weeks, you don't know this guy at all and you shouldn't even be considering introducing him to your very young children.

You go girl. Why the hell not. Have a good time while it lasts. Maybe it becomes a long term thing or maybe it remains a fun sexy thing. Doesn't matter, just go with it.

Honestly has no one taken you aside in real life and said it's weird or have you not noticed anyone laughing at you?

As you can see we've been laughing here and our reactions wont be much different to those around you.

You asked us for an opinion and we've given it

I just asked DS (20) if he would want to date a 30 year old woman. He said sure, why not. I then mentioned the 2 children and he changed his mind.

He also reminded me that my DM married my Dstep dad when she was 30 and he was 21. She had two DC. They are still married 40 years later.

Go for it OP I say.

If you have things in common and he's mature, screw what everyone has to say. But people will judge and make assumptions, so to protect yourself (feelings, emotions etc) if I were you I'd be as private as possible. You're technically 2 adults so it COULD work out. Personally I think part of the reason people would look differently on it if gender was reversed is because typically a girl of 19 is eons more mature than a boy of 19. Of course the other reason is misogyny, so.....there's that. Just go for it if it feels right. Who are we to judge?

@Trohmaniac

I can't get over how many dates you've had in just 3 weeks and the fact that you've had friends over. Over where? At yours, I'm assuming - unless you all had a cosy evening in his bedroom at his parents house.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

When I was 17 I dated someone who was 27, it seemed fine at the time, I was mature for my age, and we had A LOT of fun. That being said, now i'm 26, I find it a bit uncomfortable to think about a man of that age being interested in a girl of 17. I'd only left school the year before.

I was 18 when I got with my partner, he was 32. In fact I was 17 when we first kissed. I'm 24 now and we're still together and very happy! Although weirdly I'd consider myself too old to date a 19 year old. You're right, it does feel a lot more acceptable when the man is older which is totally sexist so I'd say carry on! He's an adult and may be your soulmate. :-)

Enjoy yourself . But give it at least a year before introducing the kids

@purplelila2. There’s only one person in this thread that I see being immature. And if you go stand in front of a mirror you’ll see who I mean

@oddsocks123 I am sorry but I would find a 32 year old with a 17 year old creepy too.

No matter how well its working out to date.

@Skittlenommer

All of those saying it’s yucky have obviously never had the pleasure of being with a younger man! My DH is delicious compared to all the old farts my friends are married to!

Methinks the laydee doth protest too much!

As a pp said, to your 'younger man,' (AND his younger mates,) YOU are an old fart! LOL! 😂

Gonna tell us all about your AMAZING sex life that you have with this young gun? That's what older women with younger men ALWAYS bang on about! 🙄

I used to know a woman who was 42 and had a 26 y.o. boyfriend. I was 39 and DH was 41. She said to me 'oooh, you have no IDEA what it's like to have sex with a 26 y.o man. It's sooo good, and it LASTS longer!' (with a toss of her hair and a smug look.)

I said 'I KNOW what sex is like with a 26 y.o. man. Me and my husband met when he was 23 years old and I was 21, so I obviously shagged him when he was 26!' Then I said ' And I can tell you that although he was great then, he is better NOW at 41 than he was in his 20s...'

Sooooo many women with younger men seem to think women with men the same age are SO jealous of them. Newsflash hunnies... we are NOT. We don't give a flying fuck. Especially seeing as how, in the majority of cases, the AMAZING SEX you always bang on about is ALL you have in common.

And in some cases, some women I have known with younger men (more than 10 years younger,) find out that the man they have been raving about, turns out to be an immature, selfish cocklodger.

Re the OP, no WAY is it normal for a 30 y.o. mum of 2 to be dating a TEENAGER. It's bordering on laughable. Actually laughable. I am embarrassed for you @Luciferthethird

And anyone who thinks it's OK needs to give their head a good wobble as much as YOU do! I'd be HORRIFIED if my 19 y.o. son said he was dating a 30 y.o. mum of 2.

Then again, you're not dating him really ARE you? You met him 3 weeks ago!

@velocitygirl7

My friends dh is in his 50s and hideously addicted to fifa. He overeats and does bugger all with his family.

My dh is almost half his age, not a bit interested in gaming and still fit enough to play football for hours with ds. He's also never eaten a pot noodle.

PMSL! 😂 Funny thing is - you're actually being serious aren't you???

Wow if you were dating my 19 year old, we would be having words. Your clearly a lot more wiser than him, he will be a lot more naive and gullible and lapping the sex up.
You know exactly what you are doing. Put your kids first instead of your relationship with a kid himself.

For me, it’s not necessarily the age gap but the life gap. You’re a single mum and he’s a teenager living at home. For me, that makes it weird.

@zeezee3 you sound a little jealous!

We’ve been married for several years and together over a decade, we’re best friends and have an awesome life together and so I can assure you it’s all working out deliciously!

Skittle sounds more like a teenager herself bragging about her young man child. Despite the fact that quite of few women on this thread are only in their 20’s as well so dating young men 🙄

My stepfather was 19 when my Mum started dating him. I was 9, she wasted no time in introducing us.

Crack on if it makes you happy. I didn’t have a particularly happy childhood but then that probably wasn’t so much to do with the age of my mum’s partner than the fact that she really shouldn’t have had kids. 🤷🏽‍♀️

(Apologies if I sound bitter - if it makes you feel better 17 years later they are still going strong!)

@Skittlenommer yep, it's the green eyed monster that brings out the worst comments. As I said earlier the 'friends' that were unsupportive were generally in miserable relationships themselves!

My partner (male) is 11 years older than me (female), but we didn't meet till we were 24 & 35, and didn't get together till we were 28 & 39. We're still together after 7 years.

I think it would have been creepy if we'd been involved at 19 & 30, as he wasn't mature then, and I was vulnerable. If the older party is mature and not abusing the potential power imbalance (though it would be bigger if the sexes were reversed), I don't see the issue.

Though you may find you grow apart as he matures.

@zeezee3 I literally have no idea what you are talking about.
The use of 'pmsl' would suggest you're a 'hilarious' individual or are you trying (but failing) to sound younger than you are?

err yes I'm very immature for finding people's comments funny

I am prepared to be an anecdote in his later years of the older woman he once dated.
I have no intentions of him being my children's new daddy who are 5 and 6

But in your op you said
I've 2 DC's they've not been introduced yet, still too early for that.

Why would you introduce them at all?

I did know a 36 year old woman at work who was shagging (her words) a 22 year old. She was having lots of fun in the beginning. Giving him an education and having an amazing sex life.

It was all great-until she fell for him... as it turned out, cosy nights in with her and her kids were no comparison to going out with his mates.