To have kicked off at in-laws?

[Xen20]

I’m so pissed off. I’m in sick at the moment with stress, I hate my job. I can’t face going back to it.

DH has called me Brian for years. I always hated it but it was a stupid joke that never fucking went away so in the end I just ignored it. He did however, get his entire family to call me Brian too so obviously I just avoid socialising with them.

Yesterday I had to go as it was a child’s birthday. As I said I’m off with stress at the minute so a bit sensitive I suppose. We knocked on door and I head the kids shouting that Dave and Brian we’re here. I ignored it. Got inside, MIL said that some friends were coming over and she would have to introduce us. I said “well introduce me as Ayesha then”. She pulled a face and asked if I’d gotten out the wrong side of the bed. Friends arrive. MIL promptly introduces us as Dave and B ... Ayesha. She then adds “but everyone calls her Brian”.

She snapped and said this bullshit stops now. It’s gone on for too long and was never funny to begin with. Now DH and I are not talking as he said I made a scene at a child’s birthday. I give up.

Total lack of respect for you. Child's party is not idea but let's be honest, it was probably the edge where you got tipped over. Forgive yourself - don't forgive them - twats!

There's a few posters on this thread who clearly like to join in on any bullying. Really nasty and unkind.

OP YANBU and your husband and MIL are horrible.

Why on earth didn’t you put a stop to this year’s ago? It’s very silly to have let something so small get so big . But it’s never to late to change things, so if I were in your shoes I’d have serious words with all concerned.. Explain that it makes you upset, point out that you have lovely first name that you would like them to use, and that their using the nickname has long since stopped being funny. Then pull them up on it every time they lapse into old habits.

FFS, she has done all that!

They haven't stopped.

"I'd have serious words with all concerned".

There aren't enough eye rolls for this ^^ comment alone.

Agreed OooEr- it smacks of victim blaming to me!

And I love the suggested 'serious words' - it makes her upset, she has a lovely first name, and it's long since stopped being funny.

More like prissy, mincing words.

They will laugh at her even harder if she says any of this.

That post has got me even more irate than the absolute waste-of-space DH and MIL.

She has asked them repeatedly to stop, even pre-empting the MIL(!) by asking her not to say it before she does - and she still says it!!

They find the OP's discomfort funny. That's the whole point for them.

They sound like assholes. If they didn't want a scene at a child's birthday party then they shouldn't have made fun of one of the guests.

Names are very personal, aren't they? My name has a number of diminuatives. I have one that I have used since I was eleven (secondary school). And another that my family call me.

But my immediate family (mum, dad, sister, cousins etc) always call me by the name they have always known me as, the "family" name. Every one else calls me by the name I gave myself at age eleven.

My sister met

I don’t think your husband or his family sound very nice. I would definitely assign names to them if they continue. Perhaps Walter, shortened to Wally for his mother and Ethel for him.

Fuckface for DH
Old Fuckface for MIL

You can change it to Granny Fartface if there are small children around.

Teasing is really nasty, not funny.

There is something really ugly and nasty about someone who continues to do something that upsets another, despite being asked repeatedly not to.

OP, you blew up and it's all their fault.

They are not good people.

I hope you feel better soon.

I feel for you OP and hope you are OK.
This is the kind of thread I hate where people pile in on the OP because they are too dam lazy to read the thread or at the very least the OPs posts.
You DHs response is deplorable,he knows you are off with stress and is the cause of the problem in the first place aided and abetted by the in-laws.
I think you need to plan how you take care of yourself and prioritise that before you break.Take this as a warning sign when something you have reluctantly tolerated for years tips you over the edge.
I'm really hoping you're OK.

I bet if you dumped the arsehole you're living with, your stress would be nowhere near as bad. You might have been able to cope with work, if you felt loved and supported by your husband.

And ignore the pps on this thread who are laughing too, they're just as bad as your H and in-laws, because despite this thread being about how much it upsets you, they still think it's ok to post and tell you.

Come on people, THINK before you post.

YABU

You lost me at I always hated it but it was a stupid joke that never fucking went away so in the end I just ignored it. He did however, get his entire family to call me Brian too so obviously I just avoid socialising with them.

Er, no, 'avoiding socialising with them' isn't the automatic response to someone calling you a nickname you don't like. That is a ridiculous leap. The sensible thing to have done - all those years ago - would have been to have been very clear that it isn't your name, and whereas it was funny once, when your dh first said it, it is no longer funny and you don't want them to use it. Really clear, right from the start. Letting it go on for years and years and then 'loosing it' at a child's birthday party makes you unreasonable.

it is no longer funny and you don't want them to use it.

For God's sake. Another naive numpty.

They KNOW this. They know the OP doesn't like and doesn't find it funny.

She TOLD the MIL not to do it, right before she big, fat went ahead and said it anyway!!

They find the OP not liking it funny!!

Op Bertrand tussle asked if your Mil knew if you didn't like the name calling.

Unfortunately, even though your op states you asked to be introduced by your actual name your Mil definalty chose to call you Brian.

Bertrand fissile I think if your a Mil... God help your dil.

Mokoto indeed, think before you post inane ridicules questions people.

In fact there is a thread right now on people being shallow narrow minded entrenched bitches right now, I wish I could link to it.

BackforGood try Reading the OP’s posts- ALL of them! Where she says she has told them many times that she hates it and they ignored her! It’s bad enough having it off her dh, I don’t blame her avoiding her bullying in-laws who have zero respect for her! Personally I think she would have been within her rights to ditch the husband and the in-laws - in fact she should definitely do this!

Bornfreebutinbiscuits were you pissed when you wrote that post? What’s Bertrand tussle and Bertrand fissile?

If it's so important not to cause a scene at a kids' birthday party then the MIL could and should have easily avoided a scene by using the OP's actual name.

WTAF?! Brian? Why Brian? Are you called Briony or something?

Habit toomuchtooold and she didn’t call her Brian, she started to then used the real name but then explained why she was going to say a name beginning with B.

@NoSauce no she wasn’t trying to innocently explain. And there was no reason to “explain” to stranger who’s never met the OP before. That’s bullshit. The MIL pushed boundary one last time.

@Mitzicoco RTFT or just OP’s posts.

Sorry- you don’t make a scene at a child’s birthday party.