Ok I’m on the beach today so am getting drawn into all this.... 
I’ve been a SAHM for 16 years, as I said. We’ve never had an inheritance, however we did come into a quite life-changing amount of money when DH sold a company. We don’t have as much disposable cash as some people might think though, because we have created trust funds for the three DC with a large proportion of the money, as well as bought them all a flat in London as an investment for their futures and to make it easier to get in the property ladder when the time comes. We also have 3 sets of school fees and uni fees to plan for.
We also moved house following the money and there was a time when things were a bit tight in terms of “available cash”. It’s not that we couldn’t afford the move, but DH is an entrepreneur and had always invested his money in all sorts of things - so much so that the mind boggles really. While this has generally paid off over the years, it has meant that we are far wealthier in terms of assets than we are in terms of liquidity. He takes a long-term view and prefers to make the money work for us and to live off that, rather than spend the money in the short to medium term. Fair enough.
Now I do know that even if I somehow ended up in the streets tomorrow, I wouid never think to try and access the DC’s money. That is non-negotiable and the fact that they have these life-changing finds is the very reason I’ve been a SAHM and supported DH all these years. I wouldn’t have done it for nothing, or if I didn’t have the DC best interests at heart. I do don’t do it to be a martyr or because if housework, that’s for sure.
However, if he suddenly got very vague or shady about where our money is, or started consulting with his father about the management of our funds (not that he has a DF, but theoretically); or if he suddenly started acting as if the investments were all “his” money, while guilt-tripping me or telling me to get a job as a dinner lady because we were broke, I wouid be 
to say the least.
I have an MSc and the same level of qualifications as DH and he knows this full-well. It’s not that I’m not willing to go back to work. But I would expect an open and supportive discussion about it, that’s all. Not, “Yes well thanks for looking after my DC for 16 years while I fly round the world and work as and when I see fit with no other demands on me whatsoever, but I’ve over-extended now, as it turns out. Therefore, I deem you lazy, so get a job as a dinner lady because actually you have no choice these days, do you? Unlike me. And no, I’m not prepared to reconsider accessing any of the money I have off-shore or tied up in my investment portfolio. Thanks very much.”