DH just exploded.

[SallyBe]

Our cat peed in a cupboard.

We've just moved house and she's not really settled. She generally uses the tray but there's an odd time she'll do it elsewhere. I've been trying to create a calm environment for her.

He exploded. He was shouting saying "I'm going to fucking kill her" and was slamming doors. It really scared me.

He's normally a calm person but had been under a lot of work stress recently. He's just gone in a rage, flooded the kitchen whilst trying to fill a mop bucket and stormed around the house for 20 minutes. I'm in the kitchen and he's gone and sat in front of the TV now. No apology. The cat is terrified, hiding under the bed.

Aibu to feel this way? I know cat pee smells and is hard to get out but I feel like he has over reacted.

Practical solution first - buy Simple Solution for the cat pee - spray on the area and leave for five minutes, then blot up with kitchen roll or a clean towel. Repeat as necessary until the smell goes then leave to dry naturally. It really works.

His attitude is appalling and isn't going to help the situation. The shouting and aggression is just going to scare the cat which will make her more likely to do it again. Cats are animals and aren't always going to behave perfectly - he should know that. Yes, it's annoying (my cat has done it before) but not worth shouting and slamming doors over!

Hopefully it's just temporary and he comes around soon.

Sally, you’re not overly sensitive. The poor wee cat is stressed, your husband is a raging git. If a cat weeing in a cupboard brings on this reaction imagine if something of actual consequence went wrong.

Anyone else hoping the cat shits in his slippers next time?

The man is behaving like a bully. The poor cat must be terrified.

His behaviour isn't normal. It sounds frightening.

Nobody should put you in a position where you walk on eggshells to try and avoid their anger.

I'm baffled why anyone would suggest you're oversensitive.

Perfect? No. And assuming I’m bragging is not respectful.
We didn’t marry abusive partners, having got out of an abusive relationship. How is that bragging?
I’m aware of how confusing it is when you meet other people who live different lives to the only one you’ve known. To have someone not yell and door-slam.
OP said ‘I’m not sure what’s a normal reaction’ I know how that feels.

Agree with PP that this isn't actually about the cat.

OP, he's showing you his anger. He likes it when you're scared of him. He's a bad man.

Is he controlling and abusive in any way OP, be honest with yourself. Do you find yourself walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting him because you fear his temper? This incident was upsetting but you might think it's not that bad in isolation, but often people with a bad temper like this are mistreating their partner in other ways. I would have a good think about if you feel safe and reasonably happy in this relationship.

YANBU, he just overreacted if I were you I’d just forget about it. I hope your cat comes out of hiding soon.

Poor cat; agree with those who have recommended vinegar, I also bought some urine smell/stain remover from Kleeneze but haven't used it. We've not had problems with our two cats recently.

Your husband was OTT and very unpleasant. He knows it, whether or not he will admit it is another matter. Don't be too nice to him for a while.

All the best , I hope things improve.

He's fucking vile. I wouldn't forgive that kind of behaviour.

if it was my dh making these threats it would be a case of whatever you do to the cat, the same is happening to you.

I’m in the middle of moving house and this sounds more along the lines of your dh has reached the end of his tether and isn’t working out what’s the best way to deal with it. Personally I’d cut him some slack as I can’t believe how stressed I’ve been whilst moving and ask him if anything else is the matter when he’s calmed down. I’d also suggest saying that his reaction was not ok and perhaps you can work a way that he doesn’t end up in that place again.
The thing is on Mumsnet noones ever allowed to lose their temper but sometimes good people do too and you need to figure out if this is your dh normal which is absolutely not ok or if there’s something not quite right. Either way it’s not for you to fix but you may be able to point him in the right direction

Jesus he sounds fucking unstable. Your poor cat

His anger would make her more likely to do this again.

He has no right to behave like this, I would rethink the relationship, life is too short for angry men.

No excuse for losing it, but is it partl his cat? Did he want a cat? I hate the buggers and wouldn't have one in my house.
I'd lose it if an animal peed in my house, yuk.

People have posted exactly this scenario before OP.

I would be livid and tear him a new arsehole (metaphorically). His behaviour was NOT okay.

He's really overreacted. Is he often angry like this?

If my DP threatened beloved Dcat then he would be an ex-DP before he could take another breath. Most decent people don't threaten extreme violence when they're inconvenienced.

He's obviously not upset about the cat. As you said he's under a lot of stress. Instead if you to approach him and offer support, you're worried about the feeling of a cat. I sure hope the cat will help you pay your mortgage since that's where your priorities lie.

The thing is on Mumsnet noones ever allowed to lose their temper but sometimes good people do too

I second this, it seems as if people can’t go the slightest thing wrong without people here jumping to conclusions.

@MustStop maybe you should get together with the OP's husband you sound perfect for each other.

Does sound like your dh is at the end of his tether. Doesn’t give him an excuse to behave like a toddler though.
Did his behaviour scare or shock you? If so it’s not acceptable behaviour. We have the right to feel safe in our own home.
As others have suggested you could wait until he is calm and have a conversation. Something is clearly upsetting him. Perhaps you can help.
Or perhaps he will refuse to tell you and brush you off with a kurt ‘I’m fine”. I’ve been there. The cat won. She’s still here and he isn’t.
Rather have a pissing/furballing/shitting cat messing up my carpets than an angry scary man any day of the week. Feliway worked for my cat btw.

I'd be annoyed.

You said he's under stress at work and if you've just moved that won't help.

Ontop of that you then have some cat pissing in a kitchen, where food is stored and prepped.

I don't blame him for being mad.

Our cat was so freaked when we moved two miles she went back home three times. Someone suggested zylkene, well it worked gave it to her for a month, I swear she was stoned.

www.amazon.co.uk/Vetoquinol-Zylkene-Capsules-Small-20-Count/dp/B00K06MAK2/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_199_t_0?psc=1&_encoding=UTF8&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&refRID=KD5ZZQHYKZSYKM8HBDQA