Dp and sofa seating (with a diagram)

[SofaSaga]

So I bought the sofa before dp and I where even together.
I love it. Its my favourite colour and fits the room theme.
I have sever anxiety from a past emotionally abusive and controlling relationship.And I don't like to feel trapped.

This is the AIBU.
dp and I are forever fighting about how he sits on the sofa.
He puts his feet up so no matter where I sit I am trapped by his legs or his feet.
This means I need to ask for him to move his legs every single time before I can leave the sofa.
Or I need to clamber over the top of them.

I am 16 weeks pregnant and I have 2 other dc so I am up and down all the time.
I feel like I am always asking permission to move wherever I want to go.
Plus it's like he is facing me observing me. It's strange.

I have asked him repeatedly to get a footstool or just sit normally. We have discussed how trapped I feel with the way he sits and he acknowledges that's is how I feel.
He will stop for a few days the go back to his old ways.
I hormonal, exhasted and sore today and yet again we have had the same argument as for the 5th time in 3 hours I have had to ask permission to leave the sofa.

Now he is in a huff and I am the bad guy. AIBU?

This sounds ridiculous. He’s just putting his feet up? Highly doubt it’s to trap or observe you

I would not be happy with either situation so expertly sketched in your diagrams, OP.

Get the fucker telt.

YABU

Just say 'watch your feet' and move or sit on the other end of the sofa

Kick his legs off. I would.

Actually OP I disagree with the previous poster. This used to make me feel like shit with very recent ex partner.
Mind there were some other awful traits too. Hence ex partner.

Change to sitting where he sits now. Based on your diagram, he then won't be able to put his feet up to block you in.

"FEET!" Would be the only word needed every time someone would put their nasty feet anywhere near me. Yuck.

Shoo him off every single time. Buy a footstool and tell him to bloody well use it!

Can't you just swap sides?

Why can’t he sit in the corner leaving you free to get up? Tell him to move

Yanbu, with him sat that way your only option is to be sat next to his feet one way or another. Why can’t he sit in the corner with his legs on the bit going down? He could see the tv better anyway and actually be sat next to you while not blocking you at all.

Why can’t YOU buy a matching footstool? Why has do got to buy one?
It seems like it’s your issue so really it’s down to you to find a fix and getting a footstool seems to be the best way to solve all the issues.

I’d be pretty pissed off if DH kept telling me not to sit a certain way on our shared sofa in our shared home.

That would really annoy me but I don't suppose he is doing it for sinister reasons.

Buy a footstool! My dh sits like this. I don’t mind. If I need to get up I just tell him to move his feet 🦶

Will he not sit in the corner and point his legs down the short arm of the L? Where do the DC sit?

Well there are some pretty straightforward solutions to your problem, OP!

1. Swap places so he can stretch his legs out along the other sofa.

1. You can sit further down the sofa.

1. Buy a footstool.

1. Put your feet up on him first!

I would find that totally disrespectful. Why don’t you buy a foot stool and put it in front of his chair —and knock the prick out with it if he doesn’t use it—

You need to swap places. Simples.

As soon as he puts his feet up you yell “FEET!” Every single time until the habit is trained out of him. Ignore all sulking and hugging and puffing from him.

It’s obvious a lot of these posters have no experience of abuse, OP.

And the poster that suggested you shouting ‘feet’ every time you want to sit down is incredibly unreasonable!

How infantilising! Would you like for your OH to shout at you because he deems the way you sit is not to be tolerated?
Who are you to decide how anyone sits in their own home?
How bloody rude!

This would drive me mad. I too would feel trapped. He is sitting weirdly. As he's upsetting you, I would make him sit elsewhere or shove him off every single time. Why does he do it, knowing he's annoying you? Is it forgetfulness, in which case he's an inconsiderate twat, or a control thing, in which case he's just a twat.

Who are you to decide how anyone sits in their own home?

The person who is having feet shoved in her face while she sits on the sofa she bought.

Its my home. He moved into it from his dms. He has never bought a thing for this house that why I don't believe I should have to buy the footstool.
We did have a coffee tablet and he used that but dc2 burst his mouth open on it. So we got rid of it.

I know the issue is mine but i don't like feeling like and a back to asking for permission to move.

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat.

I'm sorry about your back story but I honestly don't think it matters here. He's being a jerk and needs to share the space in a way that you can both be comfortable.