Dp and sofa seating (with a diagram)

[SofaSaga]

So I bought the sofa before dp and I where even together.
I love it. Its my favourite colour and fits the room theme.
I have sever anxiety from a past emotionally abusive and controlling relationship.And I don't like to feel trapped.

This is the AIBU.
dp and I are forever fighting about how he sits on the sofa.
He puts his feet up so no matter where I sit I am trapped by his legs or his feet.
This means I need to ask for him to move his legs every single time before I can leave the sofa.
Or I need to clamber over the top of them.

I am 16 weeks pregnant and I have 2 other dc so I am up and down all the time.
I feel like I am always asking permission to move wherever I want to go.
Plus it's like he is facing me observing me. It's strange.

I have asked him repeatedly to get a footstool or just sit normally. We have discussed how trapped I feel with the way he sits and he acknowledges that's is how I feel.
He will stop for a few days the go back to his old ways.
I hormonal, exhasted and sore today and yet again we have had the same argument as for the 5th time in 3 hours I have had to ask permission to leave the sofa.

Now he is in a huff and I am the bad guy. AIBU?

Can you not sit at the other end of the sofa near where it says sofa on your diagram? Really he should be facing the other way with his feet where his body is now.

I hate feet.

If DP puts his filthy stinking legpaws anywhere near me I just poke him in the sole of the foot until they are an acceptable distance.

Or just sit in his spot and put your feet where he does.

Sorry mistake.

That should say I don't like feeling like I am back to asking for permission to move

Sofa what would he say if you explained why you wanted to switch seats with him?

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat.

Well he’s wrong isn’t he? Ignore him. Your sofa, your house. He’d sit on the fucking floor before I’d move.

Just push his feet away, he probably doesn’t even realise he’s doing it.

Or pretend his feet smell - he’d be mortified and forever self conscious he’ll never do it again. You can tell him you made it up in about 20-30 years when he’ll be too old to nimbly life his feet on the sofa at an angle.

Clearly he likes to sit with his legs stretched out. He needs to be in the corner: either facing the dining table and turn his head slightly or facing the train table still turning his head slightly. He’s already turning his head. Assuming that’s the position for watching TV. Then you each have one side of the sofa. Do you have a matching seat, the type you can position anywhere? He can just move that accordingly.

Kick his legs every time you get up, get up a lot. He's being unpleasant and controlling.

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat

And you say, no it's not. Problem solved.

This is weird. Tell him to shift his fucking feet.

Id hate this

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat.

Oh well, tough luck isn't it? You got there first.

When he puts his legs across in front of you, put a tray on them and use him as a coffee table. I bet he'll move if you do that.

No, not his seat. Just bark at him, he's behaving like a dog. Ask him to get his own chair. Yanbu

I hate corner sofas they look spacious but they're not. Burn it. Get two regular sofas tell him to keep his dirty hooves away from you.

Also if he says you're in my seat, tell him if he feels that strongly he can leave your house.

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat

Then you say "It's the only place I can sit where you don't trap me in".

Though I don't see how you're trapped in picture two?

Aaargh my otherwise sweet DH does this. I bought myself a lovely comfy armchair ALL TO MYSELF. He then go jealous, got rid of the ( his) sofa and bought himself one the same

Could you swap the dining table and telly so he has to swivel round, away from you, eg in the corner legs along the side? (it is your house after all....)

Or can you put a crate upside down with a cushion on it for a footstool?

failing that, keep a pin handy to jab his feet....

@BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil I feel we are kindred spirits, bananas are indeed the source of evil and I can't stand feet, so will be stealing your eloquent descriptor 'legpaws'

The dc sit on the floor or beside his feet.
Which is why I can't always sit at the other end.

I feel terrible at moaning at him, and i do think he has a right to sit how he wants. But if it was the other way round, and he asked me not to sit like that as it stresses him I wouldn't. Or if I couldn't commit to it I would say no. I wouldn't agree to it to shut me up the carry on doing what I like.

I would find it bloody annoying too !
I think a foot stool my be the answer , or if you have space and HE can afford it get him to buy a recliner chair

www.wayfair.co.uk/furniture/pdp/wade-logan-annandale-manual-swivel-recliner-with-footstool-jul1532.html

I cant see how you're trapped on 2nd pic actually

i do think he has a right to sit how he wants

He doesn't have a right to make you uncomfortable.

He doesn't have a right to sit how he wants if it's making you uncomfortable. It's making you physically and emotionally uncomfortable.

Don't put up with it.

I wouldn't bother saying anything again just push his feet off you every time. Or sit where he usually does. Strictly speaking, if you've bought everything in the house it's your seat not his! ;)

I had a twat of a boyfriend who insisted on laying on the sofa and putting his feet on my lap and not gently either. Looking back I wished I had found MN then because I would have dumped him earlier as there were other issues besides that.

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat

Is he Sheldon Cooper?

You need a footstool.

@WhyBirdStop both are disgusting. There is a special place in hell for banana loving foot fetishists.

Diagram 1 I'd fuck him off the sofa onto the floor if he put his feet across me. Diagram 2 tell him to move his feet off the sofa. He doesn't seem to be blocking you in that picture, just taking up too much of the sofa. As for you being 'in his seat' tell him if you get to sit down first then that's where you'll stay - on your sofa in your house. If he doesn't like it let him learn to keep his feet off the sofa or jog on back to mammy's house.