Dp and sofa seating (with a diagram)

[SofaSaga]

So I bought the sofa before dp and I where even together.
I love it. Its my favourite colour and fits the room theme.
I have sever anxiety from a past emotionally abusive and controlling relationship.And I don't like to feel trapped.

This is the AIBU.
dp and I are forever fighting about how he sits on the sofa.
He puts his feet up so no matter where I sit I am trapped by his legs or his feet.
This means I need to ask for him to move his legs every single time before I can leave the sofa.
Or I need to clamber over the top of them.

I am 16 weeks pregnant and I have 2 other dc so I am up and down all the time.
I feel like I am always asking permission to move wherever I want to go.
Plus it's like he is facing me observing me. It's strange.

I have asked him repeatedly to get a footstool or just sit normally. We have discussed how trapped I feel with the way he sits and he acknowledges that's is how I feel.
He will stop for a few days the go back to his old ways.
I hormonal, exhasted and sore today and yet again we have had the same argument as for the 5th time in 3 hours I have had to ask permission to leave the sofa.

Now he is in a huff and I am the bad guy. AIBU?

I can’t see anything wrong with pic 2. Obviously you shouldn’t be barred in or have feet on you if you don’t like it...but you’re being fairly controlling objecting to pic 2 imo.

Sorry op, I think this is your issue not your oh’s.

Why not sit on the other sofa. You don't just have one sofa seat, right?

And did I read correctly, you got rid of your coffee table because your DC somehow busted his mouth open on it? Um, wtf? If he busts open his mouth swinging on the door, are you going to get rid of the door, too? How about telling your DC 'serves yourself right, no horseplay in the house, watch where you're going'? I've never heard of anyone getting rid of furniture because their child was misusing it and busted their mouth open. Getting rid of a coffee table is rather extreme.

Some of the answers are really funny, love the legpaws comment.
But seriously SofaSaga, he keeps doing something that he knows makes you feel uncomfortable and trapped, but he keeps on doing it, this is shit behaviour. When he says you're in my seat, he's telling you that his comfort is more important than yours. If he persists I'd be telling him it's not your sofa, your house or your seat. It's up to you how aggressive assertive you want to be.

Pic 1 would bother me but I don’t see any issue with pic 2 except you can’t stretch out. Why do you feel trapped in pic2?

This is why I hate corner sofas.

Tell him to get off of your side (switch) or you both will buy a footstool together.

IKEA has very cheap ones with storage like this:
www.ikea.com/gb/en/p/bosnaes-footstool-with-storage-ransta-black-30266687/

It's £19

If I sit where he sits he says your in my seat

I can't get past this.

I get it. We got a corner sofa recently and had I realised just how trapped I'd feel, I wouldn't have got it. Your Dh clearly has no real understanding or empathy for how you feel

A gentleman does not peel bananas with his feet, indoors.

It's not 'his' seat - you bought it. Just sit whatever you're comfortable. He's been making you uncomfortable for a while so now it's his turn. And if he wants to sort it he can bite a footstool.

The first picture is how me and dh sit. Except I’m the one sitting across. He sits long ways down the sofa.

He does not have a right to sit how he wants on a sofa you bought in a house that was yours, furnished by you, long before he was on the scene.

Tell him that if he can't get his head around acting in a considerate manner towards the person who he is in a relationship with, and is OK with you feeling uncomfortable in your own home, then it was a mistake to ever let him move in and you need him to move out.

Stop feeling terrible about having needs and feelings. You matter. You are valid. He thinks you don't matter. Is he right? I don't think so.

Sit as you do but put your legs up so your feet stretch into where he sits.

When he says your legs are in his way, "welcome to my world" and keep them there. He can then sit elsewhere.

This remind me of my old dogs, were alpha dog stretched over the whole space to ensure beta dog knew it was... beta dog.

It is not even reasonable to be sitting like that given where the TV is, does he do the same when you are not sitting there?

The same would be loving in some relationship but if it annoys you, he knows it annoys you, and he doesn’t give a shit no matter how much you tell him... I think it is quite disrespectful, if we add to that that you are pregnant, it is plainly controlling or abusive.

Corner sofas can be a pain. When I had family round, everyone was sitting in different directions.

What an absolutely bizarre argument to have with someone you're expecting a child with.

Do you want this man living with you? You need a safe place to live. You had a safe place and then he moved in and is disrespectful and selfish. Are you happier with him than without him?

Does he have unusually long legs? I can’t see how they can stretch across so far at that angle to the extent you are trapped. Where are your own feet?

@Hirsutefirs gentlemen don't eat bananas and would never reveal their feet to a lady.

Next time he says you are in his seat, remind him that it is your bloody sofa.

SaraNade The dc who hurt themselves on the coffee table might not have been a big kid messing around on it, but a newly-walking tot.

Personally I’d say the optimum seat in your room is where you sit with feet up toward the door. Your DP cannot be comfortable watching the TV in the position you draw, however I realise that’s beside the point. As is, I suppose your comment he moved from DM’s to yours without buying a thing, and the fact the children have to sit on the floor.

Anyway, I’d get him to buy himself a nice reclining armchair to put between the train table and the telly.

He won't spend his money on a footstool. Does he contribute fairly to the household?