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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just found nudes on husband's phone

175 replies

Lou780 · 10/08/2019 16:23

He had 3 WhatsApp groups with him and a woman. One had nudes of her vagina close up. And the other nudes if her in different poses including in his london flat. And with him. There was no conversation and the third was them making arrangements to meet again. I then found a photo of a massive vibrator he took in his flat kitchen.. obviously to send to her. I don't know what to do..I haven't confronted him yet. Does this sound like an escort or something? There was one picture of them wake boarding outside his flat. No mention on any of his friends chat about another woman.

OP posts:
justasking111 · 10/08/2019 17:08

This reply has been deleted

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WorraLiberty · 10/08/2019 17:09

Knee jerk reaction. Do people really send open legged shots on WhatsApp? Full nudes with face on WhatsApp? Is that usual?

I seriously doubt a professional escort would do that, so probably an OW.

HouseholdPlantMurderer · 10/08/2019 17:09

@isitautumnyet waiting to see tbh🙈

Ijustwanttochill · 10/08/2019 17:12

.

Yeahnahmum · 10/08/2019 17:12

Hmm....?
Tf??? Why on earth would you delete the photos?

Also: Your marriage is SO over.

ReasonablyIntelligent · 10/08/2019 17:12

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Crunchymum · 10/08/2019 17:14

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3649360-Should-these-people-go-home

You really are a glutton for punishments aren't you???

Crunchymum · 10/08/2019 17:15
  • punishment
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 10/08/2019 17:16

So sorry OP but it looks pretty obvious your marriage is well over. LTB.

It's hard but why would you want to stay with someone who treats you badly and whom you barely see?

Get your finances sorted & see a solicitor.

WhyBirdStop · 10/08/2019 17:16

I thought your attitude towards the guests was a bit off in the other thread, but in wider context you must say your marriage is over. Why on earth did you delete them? Screen shots and a solicitor would've been my preferred actions.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 10/08/2019 17:20

What's with the twatty comments from a couple of people?
You were daft to delete the photos but surely it's game over OP.

NerrSnerr · 10/08/2019 17:23

Why would being an escort make any difference? It's obvious your marriage is over so you need to get rid.

Sparklesocks · 10/08/2019 17:24

Get an STI test and a decent solicitor

jillb55 · 10/08/2019 17:27

So sorry you have had this shock. It doesn't really matter who is it, just run! As far from him as you can. You deserve better.

Rachelle11 · 10/08/2019 17:29

Given what happened in the other thread, your DH has made it clear your marriage is over. I"m not entirely sure what deleting the photos accomplished?
It kind of sounds to me like he's too wimpy to just say he wants a divorce so he's spelling it out a million other ways. You seem to be blindly hanging on for reasons I don't quite get either.

tinkz92 · 10/08/2019 17:31

I was hoping that you had left your husband after your previous post about how you travelled to his to try fix your marriage (or something) and basically was ignored.
This is unacceptable and you should defo speak to him about it.
You deserve better!

PreseaCombatir · 10/08/2019 17:31

It sounds like you deleted them so you could kinda pretend they were never there. Or so you can reimagine that’s they’re not as bad as they are.
I don’t mean to be horrible, but that won’t work, and you can’t keep it bottled in. It will have to come out in some way, and whatever that way is, it won’t be good for you or your mental health.

Wishihad · 10/08/2019 17:33

Why are you staying with him OP?

You hardly ever see him. You dont want him home when he doesnt come home, because he is a dick.

What exactly are you getting out of this marriage? You have to be getting something or you would end it.

You are practically separated.

AnyFucker · 10/08/2019 17:34

Is the aforementioned vagina attached to the female half of the couple that your husband humiliated you with ?

Creepy, creepy stuff

I can't get my head around op's mindset though. Talk about glutton for punishment....

AppropriateAdult · 10/08/2019 17:36

I wouldn't have deleted them, I'd have taken screenshots. He's going to deny it and now you have no proof.

She doesn't need proof to end the relationship. He can deny it all he wants, she knows what she saw.

Original poster
Lou780 · 10/08/2019 17:37

Can I stay in the house for now? It's only in his name but we are married 20 yrs and I have always been a sahm..can he throw me out?

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou780 · 10/08/2019 17:37

He rents in London

OP posts:
Original poster
Lou780 · 10/08/2019 17:38

Children are uni students

OP posts:
lonelyheartsclubband · 10/08/2019 17:38

No you stay in that house until some sort of separation agreement is in place. Why does he rent in London but you live at home in an owned property?

Original poster
Lou780 · 10/08/2019 17:38

Going to see solicitor asap

OP posts: