Friend said her husband hates my 7 year old!

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

Had a friend round with her 3 boys today, 8, 5, 5

We have known each other about 6 years, she has had my son for 4 days once because I went out of the country and got delayed returning.

During those 4 days, her husband spent time with my son alone as they went shopping! Supposed to have had fun.

Well, we were sat in the garden and she just informed me her husband doesn't like my sweet 7 year old, my boy hasn't been rude to him, he just doesn't like my sons dad so in turn doesn't like my son.

I was speechless and she's just left, I have no idea what to do, we spend a lot of time at their house and her husband is always there, he doesn't work, today was the first time in about a year I've seen her alone!

Should I bring it up? I can't ever imagine saying I dont like a child because of their dad.

For context my partner and her husband do not get on!

Ah OK

Didn't read any links

I'm sorry but this couple sound quite crazy. Did your osn say anything about his 4 day stay with them? 4 days is a long time to be people who don't like you.
Have you neve ehad any inkling that he feels this way. I also wonder why she is saying this now. Could it be because she doesn't want to look after him again so is warning you now?

@lovelookslikethis

Bloody hell, read the thread - look up OPs previous posts about her abusive husband! Having her child's back IS listening to these reports about what her child is saying, which is reflecting what he hears at home from his Dad.

Her son will grow up to have a warped view of women and relationships with women! Because of his Dad!

Sounds like you have a DH problem not a friend, a friend's DH or a devil problem. Turn 180 deg and have a look.

Ivanapee And 4. Has ds learnt "bitch, devil, 666" from his own dad?

Bitch, absolutely! I’d put my life on it!

The Devil thing could be anything! A silly cartoon, a YouTube video. Kids watch all kinds of crap!

But an unpleasant demeanor towards his mum and other children? I can absolutely believe that because look what he’s growing up with!

This thread is like talking to teenagers who don't listen!!

OP are you African?

The devil comment doesn't sound as far fetched, if so.

Your DS is being emotionally abused by you staying in your marriage. All of this could be the effect of emotional abuse.

Your Friend is trying to tell you that ypur Son is behaving just lije his Father. Her DH is right to not want that influence around his Sons.

Keep the friendship and ditch your husband.

She's warning you not to leave your son at their house any more. With an unemployed husband and three kids she probably has her hand's full and didn't like to tell you to your face. Who knows the real story with her husband, a grown man picking a fight with a 7 year old is a bit pathetic. @Lovethetimeyouhave

OP, why were you delayed by 4 days and why didn't your son stay with his father?

It’s quite possible that both of your DH are arseholes. Doesn’t have to be one or the other:

• friends DH doesn’t work & spends all day playing video games
• your DH is abusive & misogynistic

Neither of them are the kind of role models I would want my child around. Leave DH & get some new friends.

What are you getting out of this relationship that means repeatedly exposing your child to these people?

They appear to be very strange but your response of going back after every lie and questionable behaviour is stranger.

Having read the background to both your lives, I am going to agree with others about this being a DH problem for you both.

Your poor ds is absolutely emulating the behaviour he sees from his notso 'D' F. I am sure they dont want that around their family, and also they bave clearly linked his behaviour to his DF who the other DH doesnt like, and it sounds like for very good reason.

Your DS will become your mysogynistic H, and is well on the way by the sounds of it. This is tragic. Kick your arsehole of an H out and oit somw.steong boundaries in for your ds whilst hes only 7.

PP have predixted this scenario a year ago, so now I predict far worse once hea a teen, you will have lost him totally and he will be abusing you only.more openly like his F is now.

I think your friend is being honest with you and hoping you will see the effect his F is having on him. Very brave of her.

If you dont act this will define the rest of your lives.

If you want your kid to make friends stop home schooling him and send him to a proper school where he can meet some.

how did this get to be an opportunity to slate home ed?

Oops wrong thread.

Anyone else feel like this is a major drip feed?

In what context was the hates your son comment made? Where did it come from?

How did they react to being left with DS for 4 days? How did DS manage? Were no comments made during this time?

Why have you not addressed the bitch comment?

Why have you not addressed the devil comment considering it’s not the first time a comment has been made?

Why does your friend feel it’s right to tell you her DH doesn’t like DS? Has something else happened to warrant the conversation?

If this is the case why are they comfortable having your DS around their DC?

I honestly don’t get this

OP. you know who your husband is. Why do you think your friends are lying about what your son is saying?

I agree with Smotheroffive and here's more flowers for the brave friend who's probably trying to shock you out of your self denial, by pointing out the effect on ds from his own dad. It's quite clear really.

Smotheroffive, I dont think catapult is slating home ed per se, but the OP does say that she is worried about her DS losing his 3 friends. Going to a school would give him a chance to meet some.
I would also have concerns about the quality of the home ed he is receiving (she states she works from home until 4pm every day).
Also, given his talk of summoning the devil, what is he actually learning?
My best friend home schools and is excellent at it but sometimes (like in the Victoria Climbie case) abuse can be missed.

It's not a dripfeed - OP hasn't talked about the context of her relationship and the environment her son is growing up in at all in this thread - it's other posters bringing up her posting history.

Having read the whole thread, there are definitely two sides to this story. Your DS may well have said or done some of these things.

@Lovethetimeyouhave You presented this thread as though you’re married to a perfectly nice normal man, your son is “sweet” and that your friend has suddenly started saying nasty batshit stuff out of the blue.

Yet in December you were leaving your abusive woman hating arsehole of a husband. Again.

Which is it? How on earth do you expect help or advice if you only give half the story?

Regardless of anything else your son is your priority and his well being both emotionally and in every other way.I would not leave my chiild in their company ever...he wouldnt be safe with those people.If they can spout crap to you what on earth would they treat your son like if he was unchaperoned with them....awful people