Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend said her husband hates my 7 year old!

181 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 09/08/2019 16:10

Had a friend round with her 3 boys today, 8, 5, 5

We have known each other about 6 years, she has had my son for 4 days once because I went out of the country and got delayed returning.

During those 4 days, her husband spent time with my son alone as they went shopping! Supposed to have had fun.

Well, we were sat in the garden and she just informed me her husband doesn't like my sweet 7 year old, my boy hasn't been rude to him, he just doesn't like my sons dad so in turn doesn't like my son.

I was speechless and she's just left, I have no idea what to do, we spend a lot of time at their house and her husband is always there, he doesn't work, today was the first time in about a year I've seen her alone!

Should I bring it up? I can't ever imagine saying I dont like a child because of their dad.

For context my partner and her husband do not get on!

OP posts:
BurnedToast · 10/08/2019 07:57

And anything to say about your arse of a husband and the influence he may have on your son?

usersouthcoast · 10/08/2019 08:00

@BurnedToast it's not the OPs husband who's done anything wrong, it's her friends husband

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 10/08/2019 08:06

Why does he play video games all day? That’s probably more of an issue than your friend trying to tell you your son is starting to behave like his father

legolimb · 10/08/2019 08:09

Is it possible that your DS haspicked up the bitch words etc from your DH OP?

Toothproblems · 10/08/2019 08:11

That's a very strange thing to tell you.
Not going to lie i don't like other children other than my own... I just don't.

However! I am very pleasant to them. Treat them all nicely and fairly and would happily look after others kids if they needed a hand.

That said i find other people's kids hard work. BUT!! I WOULD NEVER TELL THEM THAT!!! And i fully suspect other people don't like my kids too. They are perfectly behaved and don't cause any trouble as do my friends kids. I just find other kids annoying...

That sounds horrible and not many people would admit it even anonymously. But you never say it to the parent of the kids! Never!

And the kids should never know!

Yourostar · 10/08/2019 08:15

usersoithcoast read the full thread!

Fraggling · 10/08/2019 08:16

Hmmm

I'm not sure the dh had said any of this.
You've never heard it from him, just her reporting that he has said these things.
No normal person relates negative stuff their partner has said to people they like

Plus the stuff is grade a bonkers

I reckon

She's doing bizarre stuff to fuck with you, see your reaction
She's saying bizarre stuff to upset you
She doesn't like you and wants you to not be friends
She's a loony

Whichever way, I'd ditch her. I can put up with crazy, find out funny (summoning the devil lol I mean wtf) but it's not fair on the kid.

lollipopguild · 10/08/2019 08:19

Why doesn't he work ?
Why are you still with him ?

Toothproblems · 10/08/2019 08:20

Also i think she doesn't want to look after your DS any more but doesn't want to say it. She wants you tomorrow stop it.

Or your son sounds like your 'D'H...see your other threads. And she is trying to tell you but did it very badly

category12 · 10/08/2019 08:21

Has your ds been exposed to this sort of language by your dh, op? If you're honest, could he have repeated it?

Are you reacting against the wrong person?

Fillipe · 10/08/2019 08:22

But it's possible (and we won't know for sure unless OP is honest) that ds has picked up "devil, 666, bitch" from his own dad.

goingdeepinthesky · 10/08/2019 08:25

@Fraggling - OP's previous posts have made it perfectly clear that her husband does have a terrible attitude to women and so use insulting language about women at home. As PP said, given what OP has previously said about her husband, ti is far more likely that her son is repeating language and behaviour he has learnt from his Father than her friends are utterly batshit lying fantasists.

It is very telling of OPs priorities that she is ditching a friend who is confronting her to face up to the impact of staying with her abusive misogynistic husband on her child..

OP, please think about what these incidents mean. You are taking your child away from his friends but leaving him living with a man who is a terrible influence on him.

howdyalikemenow · 10/08/2019 08:28

Utterly batshit but yes there seems to more here than meets the eye.

Fraggling · 10/08/2019 08:30

Nah not buying it.

Irrespective of the dp, no one says 'my partner says he doesn't like your kid' if they like them.

If friend was worried she'd approach it in a different way. No oh by the way dp said your son was calling the devil, see you next Wednesday byee

Fraggling · 10/08/2019 08:32

Just reread op posts I can't see where she said that about her dp, can you give me a time? I did a search and reread them all still can't see it :/

MyOtherProfile · 10/08/2019 08:33

@usersouthcoast check out the links to previous posts by OP on page 5.

I would hold fire on dumping the friend for a moment. It may be a clumsy way of trying to warn you that DS is starting to imitate your awful DP.

Is there some reason why you're still with your DP by the way?

KUGA · 10/08/2019 08:33

If someone told me their husband doesn't like my son I would walk out and NEVER return.
How pathetic a grown man can say such a thing about a young child.
They both sound very immature to me.
Make real friends and never go back.

lovelookslikethis · 10/08/2019 08:35

Wow....no way would I continue any kind of friendship with these people.

I have picked up some of my friends not liking one of my dds, it was only a small feeling and the way they spoke to them, picked them up. We stopped seeing them. You need to have your child's back in life. He will find new friends in time, you can hardly describe these people has friends! Your ds will grow up with a very warped idea of friendship.

goingdeepinthesky · 10/08/2019 08:36

Well Fraggling, you are perfectly entitled to believe that a child lives in a house where his father calls women bitches, and is abusive to the mother to extent that she hates him and thinks about leaving him, but when a friend tells the mother that her son called her a bitch, and is relaying disturbing language, that the friend is just a loon who is making stuff up to fuck with OP..

Fillipe · 10/08/2019 08:37

Sigh...........................

Dieu · 10/08/2019 08:38

The problem is not her partner disliking your son. To threaten to end the friendship because of this is ridiculous, and he is entitled to his view. The issue is that she told you.

MyOtherProfile · 10/08/2019 08:38

@Fraggling there are two links to previous threads started by OP on p5.

IvanaPee · 10/08/2019 08:39

People really, really just don’t RTFT do they??

Anyway - @Lovethetimeyouhave

  1. Why were you “delayed” four days collecting your son?
  1. Why are you so sure that ds couldn’t have said something like that when he literally hears it all the time from his father?
  1. Why are you still in such an abusive, horrible relationship when you were leaving him less than a year ago?
goingdeepinthesky · 10/08/2019 08:39

Make real friends and never go back

Sometimes your real friends are the ones who hold a mirror up to you.

Sometimes people aren't being kind when they hold a mirror up to you, but it is still in your own best interests to take a good look and learn and grow.

Fillipe · 10/08/2019 08:41

Sorry. My sigh...... was for lovelooks, KUGA, Fraggling et al.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.