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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend said her husband hates my 7 year old!

181 replies

Lovethetimeyouhave · 09/08/2019 16:10

Had a friend round with her 3 boys today, 8, 5, 5

We have known each other about 6 years, she has had my son for 4 days once because I went out of the country and got delayed returning.

During those 4 days, her husband spent time with my son alone as they went shopping! Supposed to have had fun.

Well, we were sat in the garden and she just informed me her husband doesn't like my sweet 7 year old, my boy hasn't been rude to him, he just doesn't like my sons dad so in turn doesn't like my son.

I was speechless and she's just left, I have no idea what to do, we spend a lot of time at their house and her husband is always there, he doesn't work, today was the first time in about a year I've seen her alone!

Should I bring it up? I can't ever imagine saying I dont like a child because of their dad.

For context my partner and her husband do not get on!

OP posts:
goingdeepinthesky · 09/08/2019 18:59

icelollycraving - read OP's previous posts about her partner. Now, do you like him?

IvanaPee · 09/08/2019 19:11

He doesn’t like her partner because he’s a total scumbag most likely...

ohfourfoxache · 09/08/2019 19:17

These people sound rather damaging to say the least. Is this really the first time you’ve had an inkling something isn’t right with them?

You really need better friends tbh

Lowlandlucky · 09/08/2019 19:18

TBF you dont like every adult you meet so you wont like every child you meet, i certainly didn't like some of the children who passed throught my classroom but i always made sure they never knew i didn't like them. You "friend" and her Husband need kicking into touch.

diddl · 09/08/2019 19:19

But even not liking the boy's dad doesn't explain why they/he would lie about the boy does it?

Fillipe · 09/08/2019 19:26

So, it's possible ds did pick up the words "devil, 999 and bitch" from his own dad?

user1471590586 · 09/08/2019 19:28

Two of the Ops previous posts. www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3397963-dp-pushing-me

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3446321-apparently-i-m-feminist-because-according-to-dp
"
It's a constant battle at the moment because he's a sexist pig and I'm hating him more and more. Last week because he cleaned the wardrobe and I was "fucking lazy" even though I work and do everything for Ds and the home and I should do it (clean the wardrobe) because "you're a fucking woman". He'd had two days off that week whereas I worked."

BurnedToast · 09/08/2019 19:29

Well, you don't need enemies with friends like that.

I don't like all my friends kids. In fact, I positively can't stand some of them. But I keep it to myself.

There's really no going back from what she said. I think I'd ditch them. They sound weird anyhow.

18YearsAMummy · 09/08/2019 19:30

Wow, why would your friend even tell you that!!

user1471590586 · 09/08/2019 19:30

I thought the OP said she was leaving him previously.

18YearsAMummy · 09/08/2019 19:36

I have just read through the whole thread, I don’t even know what to make out of all this... all I am going to say is that you should not be having any further contact with her again.

NotStayingIn · 09/08/2019 19:40

So...

Either your friends are complete and utter nutters who are lying about your child for some unknown reason.

Or

Your son is repeating things he hears his dad say at home.

I know which scenario I am leaning towards.

catmg · 09/08/2019 19:42

Not very nice to not like a child, and really not nice at all to tell you that they don't like your child. Sorry that has happened to you, I would be very upset. I would phase myself and my child out of this friendship.

Fontofnoknowledge · 09/08/2019 19:47

Do your families have African heritage? This sounds so much like fucked up tribal witch-fuckery .. seen it myself and it has no place in ANY society no matter what people say about 'embracing diversity '.

Some. beliefs are just fucked up.. kids cannot be 'possessed by the devil' not 'summon him up' and anyone , no matter if there skin colour is green, white, red black or purple is equally wrong.

BestZebbie · 09/08/2019 19:51

So, it isn't her husband that doesn't like your son, it's her.

NotStayingIn · 09/08/2019 19:58

Ten months ago you were posting here saying your relationship was bad for your son. Now you have (more) evidence that this is bad for your son. So when are you actually going to do something about it?

And I am saying that regardless of whether your son repeated what he has heard his dad say, or whether your friend's husband is lying because he hates your son's dad. Either way, this is another negative impact on your son.

OooErMissus · 09/08/2019 19:59

We have known each other about 6 years, she has had my son for 4 days once because I went out of the country and got delayed returning.

116 posts in, and only two people have picked up on this ^^ ⬆️

WTAF??! You got delayed by FOUR days returning?

Care to explain, OP?

lunar1 · 09/08/2019 20:06

Get your child away from your partner. Under the circumstances they probably aren't lying about his behaviour.

CorBlimeyGovenor · 09/08/2019 20:07

Does he not work due to disability, or because he has no social skills whatsoever and can't hold down a job. Because, given his awful immature attitude, the latter wouldn't surprise me. And what on earth did your friend think would-be achieved by telling you this!

GabsAlot · 09/08/2019 20:32

Why are you still with that prick op-no offence but your son cold have picked up on his mysoginistic views nd repeated them

ethelfleda · 09/08/2019 20:34

It’s bloody weird he feels that way, and bloody weird she told you tbh.

Aaarrgghhh · 09/08/2019 20:40

ethelfleda Going by what others that have read more posts from the op are saying, it’s not weird at all.

DeeCeeCherry · 09/08/2019 20:45

Well they'd already been saying odd things about your son and you sound as if you were still prepared to maintain the friendship and leave him there, if your friend hadn't said this. They're stupid - but it also looks as if you're a bit of a user & your friend's H has convinced her to cut the friendship. I'm baffled as to what could cause you to leave your son at theirs for 4 days - on top of that you moan that the H took him shopping when he should have been 'having fun' ; did you expect normal household tasks to be put aside so your son could be entertained, especially when he'd been left there unexpectedly?

Anyway - take the hint. You've been dropped. & if you decide to try to pursue this friendship then it'll just be more insults for you & your son. You'll just have to do without the babysitting/childcare

WorraLiberty · 09/08/2019 21:14

I have just read through the whole thread, I don’t even know what to make out of all this...all I am going to say is that you should not be having any further contact with her again.

Seriously? You read the WHOLE thread and still came to that conclusion? Hmm

Blimey.

Lovethetimeyouhave · 10/08/2019 07:52

Ok...

Time line of events
Ds stayed with them in April,

June was the bitch comment,

Last week was the devil text

Yesterday was the husband hates my son.

I waited until ds was in bed and asleep and spoke to dp, the friendship is over and I will be messaging her telling her exactly why.

I'd thought he was a little strange before, but this is just craziness. And yes, he doesn't work, he plays video games all week.

I need ideas of how to branch out and make new friends, I need friends for ds! She has 3 boys and he loved them!

OP posts:
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