to Ask your terrible advice from the 1990’s - early 2000s

[MyKingdomForACaramel]

Aibu to ask you to cast your mind back and give the advice you would have in the late 90’s

Here’s mine...

Want to lose weight? Eat what you want during the week and take recreational drugs at the weekend, it’s like the 5:2

Have frizzy hair! Not to worry, some John Frieda, and iron, and a brown paper bag will sort it.

Worried your dp has been faffing you around and cheating? If he says @you were on a break” all is ok

Best post ever- this has made me feel very nostalgic.

Blue jewelled belly button piercing- it took 12 months to heal and looks so sexy with my tribal belly tattoo (that I only got because I was jealous that my mate was getting one on her lower back). I didn’t consider the fact that a stretched out belly tattoo wouldn’t look so good 20 years on after 2 pregnancies!

Flared hipster trousers/ jeans soggy from the rain, revealing my snakeskin thong. Platformed boots to finish the look. Chain belts hanging low looked so sexy too (so I thought)

Poker straight hair and the thinest of eyebrows, complemented with as much glitter as possible. Dark lip liner with a nude lipstick.

Following some pre lash drinks at home it was time to queue outside the club for 30 mins so you could pay £10 entry! Then it was time to Binge Drink southern comfort and lemonade, Metz, Bacardi breeders, Smirnoff Ice until the club shut and we bundled out into the cold (no coat/skimpy outfit with high heeled strappy sandals) queuing at the rowdy kebab shop, queuing at the cab office and watching as a fight inevitably ensued, £3 for the cab home (bargain). Waking up the next day and trying to remember if the random that you snogged in that club was fit and wondering if he’d call you on your new Nokia 3210- perhaps you could play snake whilst you contemplated your weekly weekend hangover.

Having a morning shower to wash off the stink of cigarette smoke that infused your very being (despite the fact that you didn’t actually smoke)

I am glad that social media didn’t exist to document all this!

Oh I’m loving this thread. The 90s, what an era.

Having left the era of BOY London, Kensington Market, Adhoc Shoes, RSoles cowboy boots and jeans from Flip in Covent Garden I moved to Jane Norman, Morgan, Versace high waisted jeans (friend got those at discount from shop she worked in) H&M (known as Hennes & Moritz back then I think) and Shelley’s shoes, Nike trainers and Timberland Boots.

Crop tops and matching leggings, and bomber jackets and yes the satin wonder bra. Anyone else have the mid calf length black pencil skirt with large split to thigh?

My friend and I loved wearing suits, thought we were the height of sophistication wearing those clubbing!

I would wear Calvin Klein perfume, Obsession for night, Eternity for day and was also cool to wear the male versions of both of those. Dior Tendre Poison (green bottle) Dolce Vita and Dune were favourites too. Boys in my circle wore Davidoff Cool Waters and Ralph Lauren shirts.

I wore too much compact foundation, plucked eyebrows of course. Fake tan entered my life, Watermelon self tan by Body Shop was the first I tried. Hard Candy nail polish was so exciting.

I wrote a lot of letters to friends and they to me.
Drank a lot of Hooch or Stella.
Watched loads of AbFab.
And could afford to rent my own flat in zone 2 at 21 on pretty low salary!

Fabulous times, I could go on and on.

Five year old DS wearing my old clubbing t-shirt. FYI I have massive tits and my arms aren't exactly matchsticks either.

This thread is excellent.

@MyKingdomForACaramel I relate to this so much Want to lose weight? Eat what you want during the week and take recreational drugs at the weekend, it’s like the 5:2

Missing a full night's sleep every single Saturday and not being able to eat properly again until the Tuesday is a great idea.

Fluffy boots, hotpants and a boob tube is a compete outfit, especially in Winter.

Spending a full summer in Ibiza with zero sun tan lotion on is good for the skin.

fluorescent yellow super noodles are a nutritious meal.

Seriously though I regret nothing. Nobody can say my youth was wasted on me

Drink Hooch!

Aspire to having a Morgan carrier bag for your PE kit. In the meantime, judging other girls based on their own carrier bag/PE kit choices:

• Nike tick bag: acceptable
• Next: ok
• River Island: standard cool girl
• Jane Norman: instant coolness and popularity points
• Monsoon: who does the posh cow think she is?

I much preferred Coffee Shimmer lippy

Factor 8 for a lovely tan (when now I’d not go lower than 30 even in uk). I did get a lovely tan - and prob put myself on the skin cancer path!!

Omg Papier Poudre - I was obsessed w that! So useful...

Whoever mentioned Acupuncture trainers - I love you!! I had a pair and have been trying to remember/google them for ages. Buffalo are back - my DD has a pair (which lead me to think about the old Acupuncture days)

Coffee shimmer/heather shimmer/black cherries were all my go-to’s in the 90’s.
Polyester kick flare back trousers. Those big black platform mules that has suedette tops.
Toe rings
Upset at not being able to get the million glitter hair clip things right
Lip liner
Baggy trousers so massive you looked like you were wearing a nappy.
The Cross and Bagleys nightclubs in Kings Cross
Cover girl makeup
White shimmer loose eyeshadow for highlighting
All the boys getting Celtic band tatts
Body shop watermelon fake tan
Sun moon stars perfume
Bacardi breezers
Fuse chocolate bars
More magazine
Etam
Each of these things were bad, bad advice but I signed up whole heartedly to each one

@Frizzcat I'd forgotten about more magazine! Everyone immediately went to position of the week.

you can eatanything you want dont worry (i didnt get fat till 2002)

Does anyone recall the post Gap/All Saints era of cargo pants, very very low slung, that had a skirt attached? What the actual fuck was I smoking to think that was a good look?
Teamed with vest tops from the Ladybird kids clothing department at Woolies, usually featuring Barbie or similar. And so much black eyeliner you look like a panda.
Going out wear was a Bay Trading maxi dress and platform sandals made of rubber.
Double denim from New Look, I had a denim corset boob tube with flower appliqué, and tight low slung flared jeans with tassels and some weird tapes of coloured material at the bottom.

Christ.

Bay Trading!! God that's a blast from the past

Did the jif lemon in the hair to go blonde (never really worked..) plus hair mascara and blue normal mascara and glittery bronzer (came in tubes and you pushed the brush end in and it all puffed out).

Gifts were always incense sticks or Body Shop. One shoulder school bags which were not great with heavy books! Clumpy shoes and sweaters with drop shoulders (am I imagining a shop called the Sweater Shop or similar?) worn with tie die leggings. Lots of tie died t-shirts.

And taking two spf suncreams on holiday so once you had used the factor 15 for a few days and got a tan, you could drop to the factor 8. 30/15 combo reserved for particularly hot countries. Now I only ever buy 30!

Yy to walking around in a haze of white musk. So sophisticated.

Running out of money at the end of the night but need a cab home,. Can't afford a proper black cab and maybe you've no more credit on your mobile to call a minicab company.....well, you see those random blokes standing by their cars outside of the club...they'll take you home for a fiver

Quite terrifying looking back.

To make sure you look your best for pulling lads, wear hipster trousers as tight as possible round the thigh with a massive kick out flare at the bottom,team these with either platform trainers or massive platform boots that you actually rock on when you walk. Add a simple vest top with a catchy logo and a nice bright kappa or Adidas tracksuit top, add plenty of gold,extra points for gold dolls round your neck and massive hoop earrings.

Scrape hair back to with an inch of its life into a high pony tail,leaving fringe and bits by your ears free. Back comb these and spray with cheap hair spray. Wet and scrunch pony tail and then back comb also,add rest of tin of hair spray. Add jazzy clips and springs to hair,finish with glitter spray.

Drink copious amounts of cheap alcohol and smoke weed and cigarettes before cruising around in older lads cars thinking your cool.

Oh god more magazine. 21 year old me thought it was a good idea to apply for the position of the week thing.

Only we ended up travelling from wales to London, brief make up and wandering around with a photographer taking photos of us and ended up in magazine with our thoughts on anal (not envy)

@ProseccoandPizza

Exclamation perfume, the height of sophistication. Tone down red cheeks with that green stuff by the Body Shop (looking back I’m sure I looked nauseous).
Lose weight by eating nothing after 6pm-alcohol doesn’t count and bonus, the lack of food makes you get drunk faster.
Diamond White is best and cheapest for getting pissed quickly.
FCUK T-shirts for clubbing.

Late 90s student look
Acupuncture trainers
Flares. Big ones. Cord or denim. Ideally from Afflecks or similar.
FCUK "witty" t shirt (mine had two birds on it, entitled 'great tits')
Suede blazer over to look extra cool.

Mid 90s clubbing
Wash hair in Aussie. It's new and the dogs. Add Colour mousse into hair for a night out. Pray it doesn't rain.
Barry M body glitter. Lots. Maybe a stick on bindi.
Wear stretchy satin dress you can definitely not bend over in with wonderbra. Tuck a tenner in said bra as emergency cash.

Want a change of hair colour that's so subtle no one will ever notice it, not even under a microscope? Try Shaders and Toners!

Didn't More magazine have a bum of the week thing? You'd take a photo of your boyfriends arse and send it in.