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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you find it awkward - bride singing to groom at wedding

304 replies

ShutUpandSing · 08/08/2019 19:30

I'm not sure whether to do this at my upcoming wedding or not.

Not in any way a stealth brag but I think relevant... I can sing (well I think!) and did vocal studies at university.

The problem is I have quite bad anxiety and get nervous over what people think! I never had the confidence to take it anywhere.

Be honest, what would think to this?

OP posts:
Ilovemypantry · 08/08/2019 22:46

Sounds like something they would do in America.

2018SoFarSoGreat · 08/08/2019 22:50

GetTickled oh my god, I just watched that video. I'm at my work! I now have to hide while I wipe the black mascara lines off my face. Thanks - no, really thanks. It was just lovely.

OP, if you can do something that lovely, that loving, go for it. We don't know your talent, but that certainly wasn't cringe worthy at all.

Chattycatty · 08/08/2019 22:50

Oh god no!! So toe curling your guests would have cramp

CollaterlyS1sters · 08/08/2019 22:51

@pictish
Mundanes isn’t a word is it? Mundane is.

I can't believe you have been around here so long without encountering this poster & her bizarre penchant for this made-up word.

Lucky you!

PolkadotLollipop · 08/08/2019 22:51

Cringeworthy, regardless of the quality of the singer

PolkaDotted · 08/08/2019 22:53

You're judging the people who don't agree with you as "buttoned up" and "mean spirited".

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 08/08/2019 22:53

Two weeks ago went to a wedding where there were over- the- top emotive speeches and gushing declarations of love from fathers, mothers, best men, grooms, etc. etc. ... You name it ... they all had something to say and something to perform to their very bored audience. Dont be that person. It was tedious.
We had to walk out half way through the hour and a half long speeches, various randoms rambling on about how fucking amazing everyone in the bridal party was. Why? Why? Why? It's just being a show- off - if you want to sing a song, do a private dance, read a poem or whatever, to your OH just do it in private. You don't need the whole world to see.
It's utterly cringeworthy for your guests otherwise.

Jente · 08/08/2019 22:53

Only do it if the song is Deadringer For Love.

RachelEllenR · 08/08/2019 22:57

I've been to two when the bride sang. One averagely and a bit random song choice. Didn't quite cringe but wasn't great. The other is now a successful West End performer - she was amazing and not remotely cringy. It was fantastic and I loved it!

Thewheelsarefallingoff · 08/08/2019 22:58

I'm not sure my toes would ever uncurl again.Grin

OutwiththeOutCrowd · 08/08/2019 23:00

I'm always impressed by anyone that can sing well because I'm so hopeless at singing. However I'd suggest you sing something joyful and inclusive, something like What a Wonderful World. If the song was very romantic, I might, as a guest, feel like I was intruding on a private moment.

But, anyway, weddings are somehow destined to be partly naff and partly glorious, whether or not the bride/groom breaks into song, tap dances or whisks out the maracas.

So I say go for it.

timshelthechoice · 08/08/2019 23:01

Sounds like something they would do in America.

FFS, what a snarky comment! Would you say that about any other country? Why's is so okay to be so shitty about America on MN? Just assume everything you don't like it American? I'm not American, but wow, just really put off by the attitudes on here. The ones where I saw the bride or the couples singing were in the UK, FWIW.

I think it's cringe because it's silly, IMO.

Tillygetsit · 08/08/2019 23:01

It's really cringeworthy. Sing to him on your wedding night.

Ohyesiam · 08/08/2019 23:01

Interesting what a strong cringe factor there is, I’m surprised.
I got married a couple of weeks ago and at the reception several people asked me if I was going to sing. I was surprised as I’ve not sung professionally for several years, so it hadn’t occurred to me.
I suppose had quite an unconventional wedding ( so my family mentioned anyhow).

kmc1111 · 08/08/2019 23:01

I’ve been at receptions where the bride or groom joined the band and sang a song that they thought represented their relationship while everyone was mingling and dancing and that was fine.

The ones where the bride or groom was very specifically singing to their partner while everyone just had to sit there and give it their full attention...that always gave me and a lot of other people full body cringe.

So if you want to do it I’d say do it during the reception when everyone’s relaxed and a bit drunk, and don’t make a big thing of it eg. have the band announce that the bride will now be singing a song for the groom. Just get up there and join the band while people are out on the dance floor.

TowerRingInferno · 08/08/2019 23:04

Awful, even if you are an amazing singer. I’d have to leave the room.

EmeraldShamrock · 08/08/2019 23:20

I never knew it was a popular thing to sing to your newly beloved DH.
Are you having a band, save the song until everyone is in party mode with the back up of the band rather than in the speeches.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/08/2019 23:20

Do you all cringe and shit your pants when a couple say their wedding vows, too? That's an intimate, personal moment as well as a public one: people saying they love one another and that they promise to love one another forever. Or is that OK because 'everyone does it'?

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 23:22

Maybe they were making escape plans for if you’d said you were going to sing, Ohyesiam? Rather than actually asking you to.

BillywilliamV · 08/08/2019 23:24

Depends on the song, “Im a pink toothbrush, you’re a blue toothbrush” would be fun, “J’taime” or “Your Sex is on Fire” less so..for guests anyway.

HeadintheiClouds · 08/08/2019 23:25

Yes, of course we do, SGB, because it’s exactly the same thing. Everyone knows that.

Nacreous · 08/08/2019 23:31

I went to a very music-y wedding. So musical that the ceremony had songs performed by an entire choir of the bride and groom's friends.

For the bride's wedding present to the groom she wrote and performed an arrangement of his favourite piece of old choral music. It was at the wedding reception. It was really really beautiful and I don't think there was a dry eye in the room afterwards.

So I wouldn't rule it out if you don't want to. But if you're a nervous person, I'm not sure more nerves would be what I wanted on my wedding day. This lady used to run one of the most sought after amateur choirs containing women in the country so was very used to a live audience.

TheCraicDealer · 08/08/2019 23:33

I thought about this in a roundabout way for our wedding- I do have a competent singing voice and DH loves to hear me sing but I can never do it with an audience unless singing in a group, which means he's only heard me in the shower or at church services. So I had thought to organise a recording session (a friend's DP has a studio) to record a song we could have our first dance to, and then tell him "that's me!" as we danced. I never got round to it in the pre-wedding fug, but I do think it would be nice and removes the anxiety of the actual live performance/awkwardness. No-one else would need to know if was you. And if you fuck up any bits, well, there's always auto tune!

hotsouple · 09/08/2019 00:06

Wedding's aren't talent shows. People always think its a great time to show off a skill and honestly most of the time its interminable and cringy, even when skilled.

ihadedto · 09/08/2019 00:10

SGB I will explain to you why we’re cringing.
(Well I should say I, because I can’t speak for everyone.) I imagine that the couple see themselves as protagonists in a rom-com/musical/love story or whatever. In their heads, the singing bit is the climax (I think someone up thread actually mentioned the names Sandy and Danny) where they profess their love & the audience is oh-so-satisfied that we’ve reached this point ..
But they’re missing something really important: that in films it’s fiction. Film stars look fab, are perfectly lit, hopefully good script, etc. We are meant to be voyeurs.
When people try to replicate this stuff in real life our insides just curdle for them.

It really is akin to people performance kissing or shagging. Why do you have to prove to people that you love him? Is what we’re thinking.